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Big Love: Appropriating Feminism in Advocating Polygamy September 30, 2009

Posted by Alicia in : Culture/Society, News , 25comments

Stories about polygamy tend to surge and ebb in the media, but they never fail to intrigue people. Recently in South Africa, a Zulu man married four women–all at once–making the most popular story on the BBC news website (you can watch the clip here). In the video, a male wedding guest gives a thumbs-up to the marriage(s), claiming that the “world” suffers from monogamous marriage breakdowns as a result of adultery. Later, the narrator serves up a classic: with all those wives, what man will have time to cheat? So, yes, it seems to be all about sex and keeping the man carnally satiated as to not go astray. But what do the wives have to say?

From the wives’ perspective, there is Hatijah Aam, founder of the Ikhwan Polygamy Club in Malaysia. Running what sounds like a matchmaking service, Hatijah herself had introduced her husband to a future co-wife, a mother of seven. The club has been successful at marrying men and women from neighboring Thailand and Indonesia, and even as far as Australia. The virtues of polygamy, according to her, echo the stuff in religious texts I’ve become so accustomed to: it helps single mothers, “old maids”, and former sex workers (a new addition!) out of what is ostensibly abject misery.

Looking at the social context in Malaysia, it’s understandable how polygynous relationships can thrive: women are chronically at an economic disadvantage, a female-initiated divorce is a difficult, laborious process, and if it is successful, women shoulder the stigma and burden of being fair game to any Malay-Muslim man. Pinning on former sex workers, single mothers, and divorcees the label “unwanted goods” says a lot about the precarious status women have in society; women are not only defined by their marital (and sexual) status, but also seem to lack agency to better themselves.

For a while I’ve been interested in what women in polygamous marriages have to say about their relationship with their husband, co-wives, and with their faith, particularly when feminist buzz words like “choice”, “rights”, and “consent” are used. Take for instance this argument: in a monogamous marriage, a woman has the right to choose her spouse, and so in principle a woman should also have the same kind of rights to allow her husband to marry another. It will be interesting when the role of rights and agency are raised in response to legislation against polygamy in numerous countries across the globe. There’s also an argument that “feminist” polygyny allows women “to have it all”: work hard and have a great arrangement with co-wives who will look after their kids (providing of course that the co-wives aren’t so career-minded).

Like polyamory and open marriages, polygamy is not common for obvious reasons, with jealousy being the main one. And while for the few women whose rights are respected and protected (in some countries), how do their choices impact on all other women in general? Will a concept of polygamy that is truly women-centric subvert a system in which some women see sharing a husband the only way out of economic or social hardship? Will every wife have a happy sex life? Tightening conditions on such marriages may appear as posing restrictions on a woman who wants to express her rights, but at the same restricts men from marrying women for exploitative reasons often disguised as noble ones. In Indonesia, laws are made increasingly lax to accommodate men who wish to tie the knot multiple times, even if they lack the financial means (or the guts) to tell their first wives.

Polygyny, alongside housewifery and pornography, is just one of the few issues women have been grappling with distinguishing between whether it’s feminist or not. And so a belief in ending oppression in all its many guises should be the compass of every feminist if one finds themselves lost. To end, I leave you with Hatijah Aam saying that polygamy should be something beautiful, rather than something disgusting. I say, fair enough–keeping in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

A New Bang for your Buck: Fake Hymens for Sale September 29, 2009

Posted by Eman Hashim in : Merchandise/Commodities , 19comments

Last month, Soad Abdel Rassoul from Radio Netherlands published an Arabic translation for a Chinese advertisement targeting Middle East countries. The product? Artificial Virginity Hymen.

The majority of comments on this product have been from men. Interestingly, the only woman to speak out on this issue so far is Abdel Rassoul.

Abdel Rassoul said:

China is a coutnry that has really understood us and revealed our truth, our diseases, and our obsession with image but not content. We are a contradictory nation that suffers from severe schizophrenia.

By selling us prayer beads, Ramadan lanterns, Hajj clothes, veiled Barbie dolls, Islamic swimsuits, and no hymens, China has been caressing the “Islamic” concept inside all of us by providing us with the image of what we want others to see in us, even if it is just a lie.

Afterwards, a lot of buzz started to evolve around the possibility of having such a product in Egypt: many bloggers posted their opinions about it, comments and topics were on several forums, even jokes started to spread about the issue. Sheikh Saied Askar, a member of the parliamentary bloc of the Muslim Brotherhood and a member of the Committee of Religious Affairs of the People’s Assembly, has stated a warning to the Egyptian government from allowing such an action on the bloc’s official website. Sheikh Askar stated:

Girls in general are afraid of committing such a sin for the sake of preserving their membranes and the presence of such products will tempt the weak souls to commit it as the availability of an alternative is now everywhere.

On the same site, Dr. Fared Ismail, member of the same bloc and Health Committee of People’s Assembly, strongly disapproved allowing the entrance of this product in the Egyptian market considering this action—in his own words–“mutilation of the society’s high values”.

In his comment on the issue for the BBC news, Professor Abdul Mouti Bayoumi, a professor at Al Azhar university, said this of the fake virginity product:

“[This product’s release is] Akin to spreading vice in society, a crime punishable by death in Islamic Sharia law.”

So any Egyptian girl who doesn’t have premarital sexual relationships does so only for the sake of staying a virgin? So virginity as a virtue and a concept is all about the hymen? I am not defending the product, nor am I defending premarital sex. I am offended by the implication and questioning the value of “virginity”.

An image of the fake Chinese hymen products. Image via EastSouthWestNorth.

An image of the fake Chinese hymen products. Image via EastSouthWestNorth.

Let’s assume for a second that this is the case, that the hymen is everything. So this is how women are supposed to be treated? Like children who are better kept away from danger cause they are incapable neither of protecting themselves, nor telling right from wrong? Notice how Askar refers to women as “girls.”

According to Askar, a woman is a weak creature who is incapable of choosing what to do and what not to do, and is easily tempted to commit “sins” if they became closer and easier to her. No mention is made of how the fake hymen may tempt men to sin—doesn’t a man face the same temptation?

Rather than asking ourselves what made China come up with such an idea or why there’s a very high possibility that the manufacturer of this product might hit his first million from selling it in Egypt, we are “afraid” that it might just make sex easier and in turn, more common.

In a community that worships appearances and gives minimal—if any—attention to the reality of things, it’s no wonder that news of a product like this can spread quickly.

Also a lot of the buzz surrounded the fact that the existence of such an option will make it harder for men to make sure that their brides are natural virgins or not, as if the worth of a wife was measured only by her hymen. Not to mention the fact that now women can have premarital sexual experiences without detection the same way men have been able to do.

What would make a girl uses such a product and lie such a lie? In a community that never blames a man for having premarital sex (and in fact sometimes considers it a plus), a woman takes all the blame, which can end in ruined reputations, inability to find a husband, or even “honor killings.” So the fake hymen is a way to survive, or at the least, have one’s cake and eat it, too.

Rather than fearing the spread of the complications, I think it’s better to look closer to the main reason of the problem … not just what it “looks” like or what’s on the surface.  Otherwise, don’t blame someone who tries to fix the problem in the same way!

MMW’s Newest Contributor! September 28, 2009

Posted by Raaz in : Uncategorized , 4comments

Greetings fellow MMW Readers! I’m a new contributor to MMW. I’ve admired MMW’s focus on analyzing the portrayal of Muslim women in the media from a Feminist Muslim Woman Perspective and am excited for the opportunity to contribute to the site. Please feel free to give me feedback through your comments–I will do my best to respond to them. You can learn more about me at the MMW Contributor Page.

Take care,

Raaz

Friday Links — September 25, 2009 September 25, 2009

Posted by Fatemeh in : Links , 4comments

Your Joke is Not My Joke: Racism and Sexism in Jokes and Satire September 24, 2009

Posted by Princesse de Clèves, islamogauchiste in : Books/Magazines, Politics , 1 comment so far

Have you ever noticed how minorities—and oppressed people in general—lack a sense of humor? Lately, there have been plenty of jokes about Arabs and Muslims. So why aren’t we laughing?

French Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux recently felt his joke fall flat after this year’s summer congress. One of his traditional supporters, Amin Benalia, asked if he could take a picture with the minister. A woman in the crowd jokingly introduced Benalia to the team as someone different because he “eats pork and drinks beer”. Ah, a meeting of old friends and politicians united under the banner of pork, beer and the finest French jokes. The Minister explained about Benalia:

“He doesn’t fit the prototype [of an Arab Muslim] at all. Not at all. We always need one. When there’s one, that’s all right. It’s when there a lot of them that there are problems.”

This moment of free expression had been launched on the website of Le Monde and raised lots of questions, reactions and criticism. But the merry minister did not apologize. He simply said it was a joke, and most journalists gave it legitimacy by saying the minister was “very laid-back”.

David Gee, the author of Shaikh Down—a  very “funny” novel about the Arabs (again)—claimed he “spent six years in the Gulf and never met an intelligent woman”, ignoring the fact that intelligent women had better things to do than meet up with a poor so-called satirist.

In Shaikh Down, Gee writes:

“Nayla was tall, olive-skinned, voluptuous, at twenty-six two years younger than her brother Ibrahim and exactly half her husband’s age, a feminist intellectual in a society that tended to ignore women and mistrusted intellectuals .”

Exclusively focusing his attention on the body of Nayla, the author completely ignores the role that high-profile women play in the Gulf. The “feminist intellectual” is at some point described as if she was either a prostitute or a commodity: by the size and the color of her “voluptuous” Orientalized body.

Here is another sample about Nayla, when the death of her husband is announced:

“Nayla sighed, which the houseboy took for an upper-caste Arabic demonstration of controlled grief. But grief was not what the new widow felt. Her marriage had been arranged between her brother and the Bahzoomis, whose wealth was second only to that of the ruling al-Khazi clan. Nayla had despised her husband in life – his gambling and drinking, his belly-dancing whores, his newspapers that kissed the backside of her uncle the Amir – and she felt only relief at his passing, however brutal it seemed to have been.”

In this paragraph, Gee develops the stereotype of oppressive arranged marriages among Arabs and Muslims. Nayla “despises” her husband. The Orientalist cliché of sensuality and availability always works in association with a harsh criticism of traditional marriage. Marriage is bound to be oppressive among these “shaikhs” and, most importantly, it makes the available resource of women not so available. Gee is not criticizing marriage as a social institution or as a bourgeois civil contract – like many feminists did in Europe. He is criticizing marriage in Arab societies–as if an Arab man was not able to love his wife and as if an Arab woman could only hate her husband while longing to be saved by some romantic white man…

But maybe, it only was a joke, again.

In one sentence, despising both the countries of the Gulf and the people who live in them, Gee proves that he is only recycling his own White middle-class fantasies. His book aims to be a “hilarious ‘blueprint’ for a Revolution that will sweep the tyrant Rulers of Arabia into the dustbin of history!” It is just one more Orientalist novel – a really bad and poorly written one.

Gee and the French minister are not comic; they only are racist. But maybe, I have no sense of humor. That’s the main problem, according to David Gee, Brice Hortefeux and all their funny ruling friends.

Kathleen Hanna gave the best reply you can ever make to these clowns:

“I have to deal with sexism every day so it’s like maybe boys can find that really funny and humorous, I don’t have the luxury to find that humorous. I live it every fucking day. That’s not funny to me, and if I say it’s not funny, it’s not funny. You know what I mean? It’s like there’s no argument there, whether it’s funny or not, if I say I don’t find it funny it means: hey, be cool to me and respect me, your joke is not my joke.”

Editor’s note: This article was updated on September 27, 2009.

Kathy Zeitoun and Muslim Women as Change Agents September 23, 2009

Posted by Guest Contributor in : Books/Magazines , 9comments

This was written by Jordan Robinson and originally published at AltMuslimah.

Much has been written about Abdalrahman Zeitoun (known to everyone by his last name), the protagonist of Dave Eggers’ new non-fiction book Zeitoun.

The story recounts Zeitoun’s efforts to save his neighbors after Hurricane Katrina pummels New Orleans and subsequent flooding devastates the city. It also describes how the Bush administration’s botched response to America’s largest disaster imperiled the lives and livelihoods of thousands of residents. Most importantly, though, it chronicles the horror Zeitoun and his family face after he is locked up in a Guantanamo-style prison camp, denied contact with the outside world (including his family), and accused of being a terrorist (after saving several neighbor’s lives).

The book has been hailed an “instant American classic” because it masterfully explores the trauma of Hurricane Katrina’s aftermath not in the easy-to-pity “I’m a victim of the state and Muslim” way, but in a very subtle and striking one. It was described in The New York Times‘ Sunday Book Review as a “full-fleshed story of a single family … that hits larger targets with more punch than those who have already attacked the thematic and historic giants of this disaster. It’s the stuff of great narrative nonfiction.”

There’s a light problem, though, not with the story or how it’s told, but the ensuing analysis of the book and it’s power in broadening the imagination of the American public as it relates to Hurricane Katrina’s imprint on the American psyche and our post-9/11 world where negative images of Muslims abound.

While Eggers gives readers a lot of insight into what Kathy faces and her incredible character and spirit, there really has been little attention given to her following the book’s release. This lack of interest is a part of a larger problematic trend when it comes to highlighting the power of Muslim women in effecting change and being change agents in their respective societies. It also misses a key opportunity to give Americans unfamiliar with Islam and Muslims a different picture of the American Muslim female experience.

No, she’s not the one who paddled in a second-hand kayak through the filthy waters of New Orleans rescuing elderly residents and delivering water to thirsty neighbors. Nor is she the one who was detained in a Guantanamo-style prison confined to a concrete cell and cut off from the world.

But she did live for weeks without a single word from her husband. She wasn’t confined to a concrete cell, but she did live in a proverbial prison – limited in what she could do, what she could know about her husband’s whereabouts (was he alive, or should she prepare to cope with his death?), trapped by family constraints and responsibilities, unable to create definitive next steps because so much of her world depended on an unresponsive government apparatus made up of confused bureaucrats with little sympathy or empathy for the Zeitoun family’s unbearable situation.

And for weeks on end, Kathy was not just consoling herself, trying to keep herself together. She had four children to comfort and not crack in front of so that their sanity and stress levels didn’t go through the roof. Her youngest daughter Aisha lost weight and while Kathy brushed her hair to comfort her, found out that it was coming out because of the constant worry reflected in the passage below.

“You hear from him?” Aisha asked.

“No, baby, not yet.”

“Is he dead?”

“No, baby, he’s not dead.”

“Did he drown?”

“No.”

“Did they find his body?”

“Honey, stop.”

“But after a half-dozen strokes of her brush, Kathy took in a quick breath. Aisha’s hair was coming out in clumps. The brush was full of it. Aisha’s eyes welled. Kathy bawled. There is nothing worse than this, Kathy thought. There can be nothing worse than this.”

And it was not only her immediate family. She also had extended family members calling day and night asking what she was going to do next to get her husband back.

It was tough for Kathy. She says there were moments she was broken, where she cracked under all the pressure, where felt helpless when official after official told her either didn’t know where he was, if he was alive or dead, or where her husband’s court hearing was because it could not be publicly disclosed.

“I have always considered myself a strong woman, but at that time, I felt I lost my voice,” she said.

But just as Zeitoun pushed through the struggles he faced, so did Kathy. She flew to New Orleans, made arrangements for her kids, found a lawyer, discovered important documents almost impossible to find, fought tooth and nail for officials to listen to her so that she could find out where exactly her husband was and when she knew, how she could finally see him and get him out.

It was exhausting, physically and emotionally. Kathy was given the run-around as New Orleans operated in a haphazard manner with multiple federal agencies operating autonomously as if they were the only real authority in place to control a city reduced to a post-Apocalyptic Waterworld.

It’s important, though, to remember that as her husband fought against despair in a prison cell, she pushed back against a dysfunctional system and never gave up until her husband was back.

And she says over and over, better her than someone else. She repeats, “It’s good it happened to me and not someone else. And it could have been worse.”

That’s her mantra. She says better her than someone else because she was born in this country and raised in Louisiana, not the kind of person Joe the Nativist could yell at to “go back home,” nor the kind of person that can be easily ignored or looked past because of her head scarf.

But Kathy is not an anomaly. There are millions and millions of women in the U.S. and around the world who struggle everyday to protect their families and keep their governments honest. And that includes Muslim women.

But they are not necessarily identified as the heroine. Many times, it’s others who get the limelight, rightly or wrongly. It’s women like Kathy who win the small victories every day, writing letters to officials and making phone calls to protest unfair treatment. They are the ones who on their lunch hour hold the racist store clerk accountable and challenge bigots on the street who pull at Muslim women’s headscarves or yell epithets at Hispanics or African Americans.

The story of Zeitoun is important and powerful, but it would be wrong if we only focused on Zeitoun and failed to mention more the story and power of his wife, and all of the women like her who remain confined to the shadow of the men in their lives even though they work day-in-and-day-out to ensure their communities and societies are healthier and provide the next generation and society as a whole a positive and proud example of how the future can be made better.

Veiled Voices: Inspiring Everyday Role Models September 22, 2009

Posted by Safiyyah in : Television , 6comments

Veiled Voices is a documentary that profiles three influential women who are religious leaders, their families, and the communities they serve: Ghina Hammoud in Lebanon, Dr. Su’ad Saleh in Egypt, and Huda al-Habash in Syria. The film is produced and directed by Brigid Maher, who is an assistant professor and head of the New Media concentration in the Film and Media Arts Division of the School of Communication at American University.

When I first heard about the documentary, I thought, “Oh, no, not another take on veiled women who are oppressed”, given the the cliched title, “Veiled Voices”. I asked Maher about this, and she surprised me with her answer,

Naturally we have a play on words with the title “Veiled Voices”, because it both confronts our obsession and moves beyond it.  The West may think women’s voices are veiled because of the veil but when you hear the voices of  veiled women you understand something very different and far more complex and shatter any notion of a verbal veil…

I particularly liked the idea of “confronting obsessions”, which the film does. All three of its subjects wear headscarves, but discussion of the veil constitutes only two minutes of the hour-long film (thank Allah).

Dr. Suad Saleh. Image via Veiled Voices website.

Dr. Su'ad Saleh. Image via Veiled Voices website.

This film left a lasting impression on me personally because it shows the kind of Islam I try to adhere to, from a female perspective. The women filmed are both normal and extraordinary at once. They are religious leaders by profession, but are also wives and mothers. They observe hijab, they are well-traveled, well-educated, well-spoken and well-read.  I respect that all our readers do not want to fit this particular mold. For some these women might be too liberal, for others, too conservative. For me, they are the type of Muslim women I admire, and this is why I enjoyed watching the film so much.

Maher shows these women in several different lights, both  personally  and  professionally. We get to watch them interact with their families, their followers, and the media. We also hear their views on sensitive topics like domestic abuse and divorce. I asked Maher why she decided to focus on women as religious leaders in particular.

There has been a lot of ground covered in documentaries about women in Islam in particular with the veil.  Yet, I still felt that misunderstandings among non-Muslims was a pervasive problem.  If we have so much media on the subject, why are Muslim women still misunderstood?  I wanted to move beyond the question of veiling, as that to me was such a small part of what it meant to be Muslim. If women can penetrate leadership in government, agencies, companies, etc., it can be fairly illuminating in regards to what kind of power they’re able to wield.  So it made sense to start there in regards to Islam and women and this ground hadn’t been covered yet.  I wanted to move beyond question of the veil to more pertinent questions of what kind of leadership roles women are able to have in their communities and who is influenced by them.

Maher includes several interviews with men as well, some related to the women, others from high-ranking religious and political backgrounds, which serve as both a contrast and compliment to the women in question. Each of the three women interviewed are very influential, albeit in different ways.

Ghina Hammoud faces a personal challenge in gaining legitimacy as a leader as a divorced woman, since divorce is controversial in conservative communities throughout Lebanon. However, she has found strength to rebuild her life through her role as a community leader. It is incredibly heart-wrenching to hear about and watch the separation from her beautiful twin daughters. Hammoud’’s personality shines through the camera as she laughs and cries.

The story of Dr. Su’ad Saleh demonstrates how, in a country that is known for having the highest number of women religious leaders and teachers, these women still fight for public recognition by the Egyptian religious authority at Al Azhar, the famous Cairo mosque and university founded in the 10th century.  Dr. Saleh is also media personality, and wields a lot of authority. Whilst she has no institutional support, the story of her late-husband’s encouragement  is very touching.

Huda Al-Habash. Image via Veiled Voices website.

Huda Al-Habash. Image via Veiled Voices website.

Unlike her two counterparts in Lebanon and Egypt, Huda Al-Habbash (pictured right) has both institutional support and the support of her husband. She teaches women in Damascus, and lectures all over the Middle East, helping people “move…from ignorance to knowledge.” She comes across like a very rigid woman initially, but surprises viewers later on with her flexibility.

In particular, Dr. Saleh’s story has a a lot of significance, especially when she speaks about her application to become a muftiya (female religious authority) for Al Azhar. Her application was subject to voting by the board, which is exclusively constituted of men. She received only one male vote, and it literally broke my heart when she wistfully asks, “Who would vote for a woman?”.  Maher juxtaposes Dr. Saleh’s story an interview with the Grand Mufti of Egypt, Shaykh Tantawi, who is speaking about women’s rights, and welcoming women to become muftiyas. The irony is startling. We also see Dr. Saleh as she moves about from her television show, to the class she lectures at the Al Azhar women’s faculty for religious studies, where she is a professor.

The beginning and ending of the film are both equally poignant. Al-Habbash opens the movie with a narrative about A’isha, the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) wife, her role in Islam, and her legacy. I thought it quite fitting to open a movie about religious guides with the example of one of Islam’s first and most prominent female religious leaders. The film closes on Dr. Saleh, speaking about her role as a religious leader. She confidently declares that she will continue giving fatawa (religious rulings) without the cloak of Al Azhar: she asserts that “I don’t need it” and “I will continue doing so unofficially”.  This  sends a very strong message to the viewers about Muslim women – that they do not need permission/backing from men, as is the common stereotype.

The film focuses on a particular type of Muslim woman, and does not export the findings to all Muslim women. It shows them in relation to their own communities and societies only, in their own respective countries.

I asked Maher how she thought these women would affect the way the West views Muslim women:

We have just started screening the film but I had done a series of “test screenings” and people would say to me, “these women must be feminists.  They must be on the fringe of Islam or liberals.” The fact is that these women aren’t at all on the fringe and that the notion of feminism can also be quite pluralistic. These women represent mainstream interpretations of Islam in their countries so I think when people realize this, it shatters their stereotypes of Muslim in general.  Perhaps they realize there’s little difference between what Ghina dealt with and a personal obstacle they faced.  Or they may wish that their husband helped clean up after dinner like Huda’s husband.  Or they feel inspired with how Dr. Su’ad Saleh took on the religious establishment and kept on going undeterred.  I will say I did not realize how much these women and stories would affect my own life…

I also did not realize how much they would affect me. I found myself being drawn into their lives and stories. The movie certainly offers a rare glimpse into the lives of Muslim women leaders. At times it surprised my own pre-conceived ideas about the women, like when I learnt about Al-Habbash’s daughter studying abroad, or Hammoud having traveled the world.

Maher successfully manages to confront and move beyond the stereotype of a submissive Arab Muslim woman, and I highly recommend everyone to watch it. Though not all will find the women’s views to their liking, the documentary allows them to tell their situations as is, and must be commended for that.

Bendib’s “Hate the Muslim Woman” Contest September 21, 2009

Posted by Fatemeh in : Comics/Cartoons, Politics , 28comments

Bendib-hate the muslim woman

This is a comic by StudioBendib.

What are your thoughts on it, readers?

Eid mobarak! September 20, 2009

Posted by Fatemeh in : Uncategorized , add a comment

Muslimah Media Watch would like to wish you and your family a happy and blessed Eid Al Fitr!

EID_Al_Fitr_Greetings_by_razangraphics

Friday Links — September 18, 2009 September 18, 2009

Posted by Fatemeh in : Links , comments closed