dispatches from TJICistan

Dear Internet,

It has been several weeks since TJIC was last allowed to post and I fear that the strain of not publishing his rants is beginning to wear him down. Usually he saves his most crazy and controversial ideas until the last quarter of the walk, using a bit of a hit and run tactic. Lately he has been opening the walk with the crazy. Yesterday we had this conversation:

TJIC: “If I found out that I was dying of cancer I would totally start killing politicians.”

Sara: “What kind of Christian are you? Jesus would not want your last actions to be killing people. What about the ten commandments?”

TJIC: “Jesus would want me to use swords, because he talked about swords. Also, it’s just like the American Revolution and they killed people just like I would kill people, for a cause.” [ EDITOR NOTE: ref ]

Sara: “Jesus doesn’t want you to kill people!!!!!!!!!! You are a lunatic!!!!!!!!”

Another day I was telling TJIC about a lovely story I heard on the radio about a family in Manhattan who always pick up spare change that they find on the sidewalk. By the end of the year they had saved several thousands of dollars.

TJIC: “What a disgusting family! They’re all going to get herpo-AIDS and syphilis from picking up dirty money!!”

This is what I have been living with every morning. TJIC frothing at the mouth unable to contain the pressure from his libertarian brain swell. Me trying to explain in a rational manner why his priest would not agree that killing politicians would be an act of war and therefore sanctioned by Jesus.

Send help.

He hasn’t changed a bit. Except that there are no dogs in this picture. And he’s smiling…he probably doesn’t know about taxes yet…

Today I was prepared to regale you with the fruits of TJIC’s creative writing endeavors from 1988. I went up into my frightfully messy attic and found my copy of Visions and Revisions, the literary magazine of the freak ward prep school which TJIC and I attended.

Once I sat down and reread his work, well…I just couldn’t do it.

For one thing, most of it is too long.

Also, there are no references to hanging politicians, bringing down the state or the superiority of cattle dogs in his early work.

Thirdly, it’s kind of awful. And I say that with great affection. I read TJIC’s blog every day and I am a liberal, that’s right a liberal! Though I hate taxes, but that is neither here nor there, my point is that TJIC has a really well written blog and you will just have to trust me when I tell you that his early work might make you cry and long for a reading of Vogon poetry.

There is a story called Dwarf Wars. I believe that TJIC was, like high school nerds everywhere, heavily influenced by the work of J.R.R. Tolkien. There’s a Stone Grabber, which actually sounds kind of dirty now that I type it, and a dwarf.

There’s a poem about space travel.

There’s a long essay about Artificial Intelligence. It’s a bit dry and had me missing  TJIC’s rants about scum sucking liberals.

There is a piece about people huddled in snow. They have no coats. They are probably communists.

The last one is about Pilgrims. There’s roast pork, a bard and a library. I have no idea what it all means.

So what is the point of all of this? In revisiting his early work I was hoping to be able to afford you, his loyal readers with a peak into the mind of one of the great lunatics of the internet. All I came up with is dwarves and robots.

If this were my blog I’d wrap up this post with a story about my dogs or my kids or the trials of laundry. Instead I will leave you with this quote of TJIC’s which I overheard him say today:

“People who are good at math and analytics understand reality. People who aren’t just wish for things to be nice.”

This is probably the point at which TJIC revokes my password.

You know how TJIC always refers to himself as a teetotaler? Well, I can only conclude that our friend TJIC opened himself up a big ol’ bottle of whiskey because that crazy man gave me the keys to TJICistan. I confess however that this feels more like the Gong Show than an honor, because if this post isn’t funny he’s going to change the password so fast that I’ll have cyber whiplash.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am Sara. I have a mommy blog which TJIC hates. I am married to David and have two kids and two dogs.  I also dated TJIC for about ten minutes in 1988 back in the summer after he graduated high school. When fall came he went to Cornell.

I continued high school and then didn’t see him again for twenty years until our paths crossed dog walking. One of us enjoyed running into an old friend and looked forward to catching up. TJIC The other one was freaked out and had to process his past and present colliding by buying woodworking tools.

Luckily he was able to work out his feelings in a mens drumming circle and we settled into running into each other most mornings at the dog park. Since TJIC and I are both anti-social at heart, we make very good dog walking buddies. Our walks are largely long stretches of quiet periodically punctuated by snarkiness and weight loss comparisons.

In many ways TJIC has not changed at all in twenty years.  That TJIC became a lunatic libertarian is not surprising but to be honest with you I find his devotion to the force Catholicism to be more baffling.

Weird TJIC fact: The last time either of us was at the World Trade Center was on my sixteenth birthday when my parents took us to Windows On The World. He gave me a Cornell sweatshirt and a Pink Floyd CD. I can almost guarantee that he does not remember the sweatshirt or CD.

Anyway, I feel that I have probably covered the talking about the feelings.

It’s time for dog pictures! Somewhere I have a few pictures of TJIC’s dogs but you’ve already seen his. Let’s look at my dogs!

Here is Pugsley getting a bath.

This is Sophie.

Sometimes she eats her own poop. Usually I mention if she has eaten poop before she licks TJIC. But sometimes I forget.

I think that I am probably done for now. Can I have some chocolate?

I just realized that Lent starts today.

As I did last year, I’ll be giving up blogging.

See you on April 4 !

I have zero (actually, negative) interest in golf, but this seems like quite a clever pedantic tool: a golf club that (temporarily) deforms if it’s used incorrectly.

I assert that the interesting idea is to

• mechanically give
• unmistakeable feedback
• early in the process.

You do that, and you take (fallible, expensive) third party labor out of the equation, and you create a very tight feedback loop.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0071422676

Are you a bike enthusiast?

Somewhat.

Are you a fan of the local “Chunk 666″ bike club?

Who isn’t?

Do you enjoy tinkering, building and welding?

Heck yes.

If so, get your hands on a copy of Atomic Zombie’s Bicycle Builder’s Bonanza right now

OK!

I hadn’t realized that Pohl was still alive.

Then I didn’t realize that he was blogging .

Then, when I was reading his blog, I didn’t realize how old he was.

…until I saw a post that included a picture taken in his apartment … in 1938.

The dude was born in 1919 … and is blogging!

Unreal.

…and very very cool.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massach…

CAMBRIDGE – … Near Harvard Square, a preacher embarrassed by the lack of racial diversity in his church is launching a campaign to fill the pews with blacks and Hispanics…

I’m sure that if a church in the area was trying to attract more whites, because the color balance of the congregation was a bit too dark, the Globe would also covering this as a light hearted human interest story.

Rev. Fred Small of First Parish in Cambridge, a Unitarian Universalist congregation near Harvard Square …

“As a white person, I’m embarrassed by racism,” said Small. “I’m embarrassed that white people have not done more … to break down barriers of race, class, and culture.

“As a white person” ?

He’s “embarrassed that white people have not done more” ?

OM*G.

This guy’s about 20 times more racist than I’ll ever be.

I, for one, am not embarrassed by what white people do, because we are no more a cohesive set, with joint responsibility for things, than “people who once read the back of a Quisp cereal box” are a cohesive set, with joint moral responsibility.

Here’s a thought: maybe the reason that blacks and Hispanics aren’t showing up at Small’s silly little pseudo church is that they have a culture of actual theism. If you believe in the God of the Old and New Testaments, and you believe that Jesus was the son of God, then why would you venture into a UU left-wing-knitting-circle-with-unionized-labor-wine-and-organic-crackers-and-brie?

http://www.overcomingbias.com/2010/02/on…

William Grassie has a fuzzy-headed far view on surviving catastrophe:

Imagine a major planetary catastrophe, … something in the order of the Mt. Toba supervolcano … some 73,000 years ago. … Humanity was reduced to some 1000-to-10,000 breeding pairs. … One of the thirty or so supervolcanos … is the Yellowstone Basin. … The United States disappears in the course of a few days. … The survivors would be reduced to subsistence farming, gathering, hunting, and fishing in areas around the earth’ s equator. … Let’s say that humanity is again reduced to some 10,000 breeding pairs. …

What knowledge from today would be most valuable to these survivors as they tried to rebuild their lives and repopulate the earth? … You get to choose one book. …

It’s an interesting original post, and an interesting response.

If the question is to be answered as presented, I’d say “The German (or Swedish) How Things Work Vol. I- IV from the 1970s, in transalation”.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1114119512

I got a copy of this when I was a kid (still have it!), and it’s quite amazing.

I vaguelly recall that the book might have been mentioned in Lucifer’s Hammer, in the scene where the scientist is triple bagging his technical books and putting them in the septic tank.

…but maybe that’s a mixed up memory, and I’m remembering wondering which of my books would be worth saving.

By the way, I still haven’t heard back from Olivia Munn’s lawyers after I told them to take their demand letter and cram it in one of the few places in North America where HeavyInk won’t ship comics.

http://backyardmetalcasting.com/oilburne…

The Lab has expended a LARGE CHUNK of its department of energy research budget into the development of a new burner… And that $10.00 went a long way.

Heh.

Brian links to a PDF of an Army report talking about firefights at 500+ meters.

It references the good old days &tm;, wildcat cartidges, the 6.5 mm Grendel (is it really only 8 years old? It feels like I’ve been hearing about it forever), and lots of things that will make a certain type of person who cares about such things exclaim “Oh, thank God, our long national nightmare of underpowered short-range pseudo-marksmanship is coming to an end!”.

I’m the kind of person who treats firearms as tools, and non-bullet-shooting tools as objects of adoration, so I’m not as worked up as some will get, but it’s an interesting read.

I’m sure that in 40 years we’ll be fighting in South American or African jungles, and swearing at the generals fighting the last war, wishing that we had a small caliber, close-range bullet, something like the old .223 …

But that just ensures that the next two generations will have something to bitch about, and so the great wheel keeps turning…

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Popehat/~…

to paraphrase Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, “Well, they tell you never antagonize a federal judge, but it is, on occasion, hilarious.”

Heh.

http://www.boston.com/news/health/articl…

LONDON—The most powerful force against AIDS in Africa may be circumcision… but it’s a challenge on a continent where there are too few medical workers and a reluctance by men for cultural reasons and fear of pain.

Now there may be a new weapon in the arsenal…

The Chinese-developed device, the ShangRing, has been tested in a small study in Kenya and a larger test is set for later this year. The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation will invest about $4 million into studying the device.

Bill Gates is a genius.

He’s even figured out how to let Africans experience what it’s like to have a Windows install, with out even owning a computer!

http://www.boston.com/news/health/articl…

Experts explore ways to circumcise men in Africa

OK, that’s one – what are the four others ?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/16/world/…

Theology aside, what seems to divide the missionaries most is how long they have been working here. Some of the missions have operated here for decades, converting generations of Haitians and helping to develop the country, and that has made for some skepticism of the newcomers’ motives and methods.

If the long-term missionaries in Haiti are bragging about how much development they’ve accomplished, they probably want to shut up…unless they really think that remarkable strides have been made in sticks-and-rusty-bailing-wire technology during their tenure.

Dale Winslette, 51, a volunteer with Give Me Shelter Ministries in Shalimar, Fla., which has been providing food and medical and dental care in Haiti for the past four years, said there were many missionaries who were mostly interested in returning to their churches with grand stories of good works.

“These people are so zealous to get out there and say, ‘Look what I did; look at these kids I saved,’” he said.

Oh noz!

Maybe we need to take a page from the gov teachers’ book and give these people tenure, or something, and make it illegal for anyone else to give aide to Haitians.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424…

Per-capita venture-capital investment in Israel runs 2.5 times that in the U.S. and 30 times that in Europe.

This seems entirely reasonable to me.

Venture capital isn’t much used to fund bigger/deeper/longer ditch digging operations – it’s a force multiplier for R&D.

Ashkenazi Jews are, on average, more intelligent than most other populations.

10+ IQ points is 2/3 of a standard dev (which is 15 for the IQ bellcurve).

If we posit that the IQ threshold for ability to productively use VC is 115, then 15.7% of Americans can use VC, and 25.7% of Ashkenazi Jews can.

If we posit that the IQ threshold for ability to productively use VC is 130, then 2.1% of Americans can use VC, and 5.5% of Ashkenazi Jews can.

…which is … hey! … 2.5 times as large a segment of the population.

Of course, the initial result is far more easily explained by dozens of other explanations (tax laws, critical mass of business community, etc.), but since I’m already annoying people with Truths That One Does Not Speak Aloud in Polite Society, I thought I’d throw one more out there.

• write a novel – 0 pages done
• lathe – 3 items partially done
• remodel the bathroom – no action
• learn guitar – 4 lessons, daily practice
• corporate debt by $100k – $65k down, on schedule
• start brand 3 – form factor decided, printing quotes in, data on third party sales collect; need to generate content
• Lose 60 lbs – 17 lbs down, on schedule

As has been the case since January 2nd: moving forward on four, absolutely stuck on the other three.

:-/

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?po…

Original ad:

**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****

Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc…..

Offering: cash, items for barter

From Me to **********@***********.org:

Hey,

I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

I am. lets see what you got.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Here you go:

Looks like a normal spoon, right?

Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5″ half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.

From Jeff ****** to Me:

that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can FFFF off.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Let me know if you want any of these items.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

youre a FFFFing dumbass, SSSSbrained, asswipe, retarded dipSSSS. you prob walk around with that SSSS too you dumb mother FFFFer. I hope you get hit by a car. FFFF off, eat SSSS, and die.

ROFL!