Make a flash game and win £5k - E4 are running a compo, I'm writing a game (with your help,
diary here), and did I say the prize is £5k?
posted by
rob on 12th Aug at 1pm
Son, I'm B3ta newsletter 340, I only went with your mother because she looked like Charles Hawtrey, and I don't have a decent bone in me, er.. Chim chiminey Chim chim cher-ee!
Read newsletter 340
published by
rob on 8th Aug at 1pm
Blood
Like a scene from The Exorcist, I once spewed a stomach-full of blood all over a charming nurse as I came round after a major dental operation. Tell us your tales of red, red horror.
Tell us your story
asked by
Scaryduck on 7th Aug at 2pm
Recession
How is the down turn in the global economy going to affect us? What changes are we going to see in the not-too-distant future? Are we screwed? Show us.
See the entries
set by
Fraser on 6th Aug at 10pm
B3ta newsletter 339 links matured like the finest wine, The haters say it's more like cheese, let's hope the IRA break their knees.
Read newsletter 339
published by
rob on 1st Aug at 3pm
Get Rich Quick
Jabboy contacted us because he's skint. So what have you done to make money fast? Did you actually make anything, or were you just ripped off by someone who really was getting rich quick? Did you have to sell your soul?
PS. Jabboy is available for rent on 0870 88673242
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 31st Jul at 4pm
Hats
It's time for one of b3ta's occasional, do whatever you want, ball's in your court, one-word challenges. The word? Hats!
See the entries (closed)
set by
Fraser on 30th Jul at 8pm
B3ta newsletter 338, here it is so let's masturbate. Full of links and nasty smells, suspicious stains and URLs.
Read newsletter 338
published by
rob on 25th Jul at 3pm
Pointless Experiments
Pavlov's Frog writes: I once spent 20 minutes with my eyes closed to see what it was like being blind. I smashed my knee on the kitchen cupboard, and decided I'd be better off deaf as you can still watch television.
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 24th Jul at 12pm
Abusive ducks
Ducks are complete shits, famous for wife-beating and general duck abuse. Show the world you're on to them.
See the entries (closed)
set by
rob on 23rd Jul at 10pm
B3ta Newsletter 337, better everything it's linky heaven, coz when it comes to having web stuff, we know our members can never have enough. SORRY FOR THE SHIT POEMS.
Read newsletter 337
published by
rob on 18th Jul at 2pm
Best Films Ever
We love watching films and we're always looking for interesting things to watch - so tell us the best movie you've seen and why you enjoyed it.
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 17th Jul at 2pm
Low Budget Film Remakes
We've all seen the big budget movie remakes
of little indie flicks. But what about Hollywood blockbusters remade for 50p? (Thanks Holly Would)
See the entries (closed)
set by
rob on 16th Jul at 10pm
Newsletter 336 - it's best enjoyed with twix, or mars or a topic, fucking hell my horse has colic. (Poem written in 15 seconds flat - available for commissions too)
Read newsletter 336
published by
rob on 11th Jul at 3pm
Faking it
Rakky writes, "We've all done it. From qualifications to orgasms, everyone likes to play 'let's pretend' once in a while."
So when have you faked it? Did you get away with it? Or were your mendacious ways exposed?
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 10th Jul at 3pm
Cartoon Identity Crisis
Interpret your favourite cartoons - the stuff you loved as a child or contemporary characters - in the style of another, or in a style of your own choosing.
See the entries (closed)
set by
Fraser on 9th Jul at 9pm
B3ta newsletter 335, I bet you're glad we're still alive, because if we weren't there anymore, Friday afternoon would be a bore. YAY FOR SHIT POEMS.
Read newsletter 335
published by
rob on 4th Jul at 3pm
Tales of the Unexplained
Flying saucers. Big Cats. Men in Black. Satan walking the Earth. Derek Acorah, also walking the Earth...
Tell us your stories of the supernatural. WoooOOOooOO!
suggestion by Kaol
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 3rd Jul at 10am
Fat Britain
People of Britain! You're getting fat! Our nation is in the grip of an obesity epidemic. How will our celebrities adjust to their growing girth? What will life be like when we're all massively overweight? Tell us in porky pictures.
See the entries (closed)
set by
Fraser on 2nd Jul at 7pm
B3ta Newsletter 334 - it's out. Read it using your eyes, understand it with your mind and shit it out using only your bottom. WIN.
Read newsletter 334
published by
rob on 27th Jun at 2pm
My Biggest Disappointment
Often the things we look forward to the most turn out to be a huge let down. As Freddy Woo puts it, "High heels in bed? No fun at all. Porn has a lot to answer for."
Well, Freddy, you are supposed to get someone else to wear them.
What's disappointed you lot?
null points for 'This QOTW'
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 26th Jun at 2pm
Literal Road Signs
Imagine if road signs, instead of directing you or warning of expected hazards, told you precisely what was taking place at that particular moment. Then 'shop the results of your imagination.
See the entries (closed)
set by
Fraser on 25th Jun at 7pm
B3ta newsletter 333 - it's Friday, we're late and nobody gives a fuck. Yep, it's the B3ta newsletter. Woo hoo!
Read newsletter 333
published by
rob on 20th Jun at 4pm
Advice from Old People
Sometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
Read everyone's stories (closed)
asked by
chthonic on 19th Jun at 4pm
2012 Olympic Mascot
The BBC are asking people to design a mascot for the London Olympics. We think you can do better. Who or what would best represent Britain to the world?
See the entries (closed)
set by
Fraser on 18th Jun at 8pm
