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Literary Quotes
(more quotes...)
Support your species--
buy a book!
Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool. Hardback.
Available in retail bookstores, and online at Amazon,
Barnes&Noble,
etc.
Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design. Paperback. Available in local
retail bookstores, and online at Amazon,
Barnes&Noble,
etc.
Support your species-- buy a book!
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Wendy Northcutt, author of the Darwin Awards, describes her occupation as
"writing obituaries." Wendy is prone to speaking freely, so we have
allowed her the following paragraph:
A troll is a troll is a troll. "Financed by Big Business, the
agenda is pure sabotage: derail conversation at Town Hall meetings, stifle
debate at all costs. I am concerned by the emergence of TROLLS in the
physical world, particularly trolls organized by business concerns. On the
Internet, we have learned to ignore trolls. Engaging them only makes the
problem worse. Will the Internet solution work
or is a new solution needed? PLEASE DISCUSS." Wendy
Within These Portals Lie 771 Enterprising Demises.
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Ninja Deer Hunter
(near miss)
Texas | A man was out hunting in his favorite spot, a climbing stand in an
open creek bottom. One morning he heard a deer blow at his back. He waited
until the large buck sauntered just under the tree...
Read on.
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Not Even Half Baked
(near miss)
After an extended night shift, our heroine, a working mother, decided to
stay up until the kids came home from school. Being a thoughtful mom, the
tired woman groggily decided that this was the time to bake a cake...
Read on.
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Short Circuit
(darwin award)
South Carolina | Michael Anderson Godwin was a lucky murderer whose death
sentence had been commuted to life in prison. Ironically, he was sitting on
the metal toilet in his cell...
Read on.
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Fool's Gold
(darwin award)
India | For lottery agent Pravin Kuse, his number was up when he followed
his dream and decided to dig for a pot of gold. Kuse had dreamed that an
ancient pot of gold was buried beneath an abandoned 100-year-old house...
Read on.
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Cats Land on All Fours
(near miss)
California | 24-year-old Mike, an operator for a gravel company, did not
intend to perform a death-defyiing stunt with a 40-ton construction
machine. He was only trying to free a stuck bulldozer...
Read on.
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License to Spill
(near miss)
New Jersey | Traffic officer Michael Trotter responded to assist the Newark
Fire Department with a man who had suffered injuries from a crash--while
driving a motorized barstool!
Read on.
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Halloween and Darwin Awards go together like blood and guts. We wacko's at
Darwin Award Central thought it might be fun to manufacture a set of
Darwin-themed costumes for Halloween. But we were stumped for ideas.
What's your idea for a Darwin Award costume?
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Hot Buns
(near miss)
Welcome to Sweden. Home of Swedish massage, Swedish cuckoos, and one
Swedish meatball who decided to warm himself in an industrial strength
oven. The incident took place in freezing February...
Read on.
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Payback
(darwin award)
Serbia | 23-year-old Strahinja Raseta was wanted by Croatian police for
murder, as well as for a spectacular robbery of a central post office. He
fled to Serbia to evade the law. But even bad guys have friends...
Read on.
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"Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them
are even stupider!"
--George Carlin
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Mortar Fire
(near miss)
This moment of blissfully pure and unadulterated stupidity happened while I
was building custom exhausts on a series of hot rods. Due to the exacting
workmanship required, I did these jobs after hours when I wasn't distracted...
Read on.
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Chutes and Spills
(near miss)
Iraq | A group of Marines located some surplus parachutes that had
been taken out of active circulation. The silk chutes were good for nothing
more than providing shade in Iraq--or midsummer mischief...
Read on.
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There is occasional dissatisfaction with the Darwin
Awards Rules age limit, normally set at 16. Says moonflake,
"It's a pity. This
ex-idiot is a perfect candidate, but was only 15: 'The group of boys
said they were train surfing in memory of three friends who died doing the
same thing last Friday. One boy fell off the train and died on the scene.'
I have no words."
What do you think, should this fifteen-year-old win a Darwin Award?
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