So, wait, John Walker Lindh gets the pokie for 20 years, and this guy gets to stay at Yale (Thanks Candace)? How does this work again?

Ok, America, you know something is wrong when they create a dating website for “Sean Hannity fans”. Whatever happend to dating someone who, like, thought differently than you about things? What are you going to talk about now? How great Sean Hannity is?

“I love How Sean Hannity slams those liberals!”
“Yeah, haha. Me too. He is awesome!”
“Yes. Yes he is!”
(Awkward silence)
“Ehh, but, like, I don’t like Colmes that much!”
“Yeah, Colmes sucks. He isn’t as bad as some democrats, but he still sucks!”
“Yeah, in agreement there!”
(Another awkward silence)

Yeah, that’s the stuff to build lasting relationships on.

On the other hand, if they do create a dating website for Joss Whedon fans, I am all for it. I haven’t met a single Whedonhead that wasn’t both smart and funny. I would be all for it.

So how would that be different than this website? Well, first of all, Sean Hannity has 2 shows: the TV show and the radio show, while Joss whedon had 3 TV shows, won an Oscar for Toy Story’s script, wrote the original X-men script, wrote and directed Serenity, which is one of the best Sci-Fi movies that came out this new millenium and is working on creating Movie version of Wonder Woman, with the cleavage -heavy costume and everything. As you can see, us whedonheads would have a lot to talk about!

Ok, so we are dorks. Sue us!

Hey girl. Got dumped? Get some revenge and post about your “dog” on this website.

I wonder if one day men will start their own database, titled “Date that girl!”, for easy women they encounterd. If they include a phone number and an STD profile, it could be very very…ehhh….informational. Yeah, informational is a good word to use here! And helpful. Yeah, informational and helpful! Hey, if Tyra Banks stripping for rating can be called educational and entertaining, then a directory of easy women could be called informational and helpful. Right?

Riiight!

Why isn’t this on Al Jazeerah?

BUSH: Well, there’s a difference — well, there’s a difference between somebody who has made up their mind regardless of the facts, and the facts, and so I want to hear what — again, I want to see the same facts presented to the Congress, and — but the 45-day period is a, is a good opportunity for people to find out the facts.

I do want, when people start paying attention to this, the facts, one is ask the question whether or not, you know, doing business with this company is going to jeopardize the security of the United States, first. And secondly, if not, what kind of signal does it send to say it’s OK for a British company but not OK for an Arab company to manage this port, when in fact, this same company manages ports all around the world?

Here we are trying to put a coalition of the willing together to protect America, to win the war on terror, and I would ask the critics and the people who are skeptical, “What kind of signal does it send to our friends in the Arab world, people who are joining us in the war on terror, people who want to fight off the terrorists, to say it’s OK for one company from one country to be able to have this management contract but not you?”

And I also want to remind people that in the year 2000, prior to my arrival in Washington, D.C., our country sold F-16s to the very country from which this company comes from. In other words, there had been a security analysis done on whether or not the UAE, for example, is a valid ally and our valued ally and — but, anyway, look, I can understand people’s concerns, and our job is to address them.

Read the whole thing. It’s very interesting!

I haven’t been able to access my Inbox since Yesterday. I can’t reply to people or anything. It will sign me in and then do nothing. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I am gonna try to access my mail through a pop3 server thingie, so I can make some necessary replies to people. All apologies for the delays!

Before and after II: The middle-east leaders’ edition.

Just too damn funny!

Remember Abu Hamza “Captain Hook” el Masry, the radical cleric who was jailed in the UK for supporting terrorism? Well, he has a son, and his son intends to start a rap group, where they will rap about..ehh…you guessed it….Jihad!

The son of jailed radical Islamist imam Abu Hamza al-Masri is embracing rap music to sing the praises of Hezbollah and Hamas, the Sun newspaper reported on Tuesday.

The best-selling daily said it sent reporters under cover to meet Mohammed Kamel Mostafa - who goes by stage name Al-Ansary in the rap duo Lionz of Da Dezert - in a recording studio in north London.

Lionz of Da Dezert. Now that’s gangsta, especially since he lived in Britian all of his life and, well, doesn’t even know what a desert looks like in real life. But don’t call them posers or nothing; they might go Jihad on your ass.

Lionz of Da Dezert groupies

“I want to put out an album for the mainstream market, then make a CD featuring hardcore lyrics,” the British-born 24-year-old was quoted as saying, adding that he can “easily make more than a million” pounds.

A fan grooving to Lionz of Da Dezert on her Ipod, which you can’t see because..oh..well.. you get the idea!

In one of his songs, The Sun said, Mostafa raps: “I was born to be a soldier/Kalashnikov in my shoulder/peace to Hamasa and Hezbollah/that’s the way of the lord Allah … we’re jihad through/defend my religion with the holy sword”.

I smell a grammy!

This Yahoo news piece asks the question:

Are Egypt’s Democratic Reforms Done?

And in turn I ask them:

Done? When did they even begin?

After 2 years of having Iran smuggle weapons to terrorists in Iraq so that they can kill Iraqis, british and americans soldiers to destabalize the region and make the Iraq democracy experiment a failure, it seems that the british and americans maybe repaying the favor to Iran.

This is probably not true (considering the source), but I really wish it would be. About damn time they started fighting dirty!

This is exactly why strapping Hamas for cash will work!

How low can you go?

On Wednesday’s show, for instance, Banks will be shown going “undercover” as a stripper at a topless club, although the former Victoria’s Secret model stops short of complete disclosure. In the past, she’s posed as a Las Vegas showgirl and used her face as canvas for makeup lessons.

The stripper segment, she said, was the result of hearing friends and viewers express frustration about the men in their lives spending time and money in strip clubs.

“When I found out the majority of business is from males from married homes, I wanted to go inside the minds of the men who frequent these clubs. I wanted to see and hear why they went. And the only way to do that was to go undercover and see for myself,” Banks said.

“And strip, and show them my boobies. Cause men like to talk when women are topless. Did I mention how smart i am? I mean, look at my face. Half of it is forehead! That’s..like..my frontal lobe and stuff. Told you I is smart!”

Having Banks strut her stuff incognito as a dancer (named “Chanel”) can only be a ratings plus for the syndicated “The Tyra Banks Show,” exactly the point in a sweeps month used to set local TV ad rates (check local listings for time).

But Banks, 32, said she considers her program, which typically draws a heavily young and female audience, a vehicle to educate as well as entertain.

“So remember boys and girls, especially girls: Stripping is wrong, unless you are doing it to raise ratings for the show you got only because you are a genetic freak and make millions of dollars in return. Then it’s ok! Hell, you can even call it educational and get away with it! Who needs a college degree anyway, you know, except losers who work for a living?”

Oh boy! You know it’s getting pretty bad when the europeans start sounding like republicans.

Muslims who wish to live under a system of sharia law should leave Britain, the chairman of the Commission for Racial Equality suggested yesterday.

The chairman of the Commission for Racial Equality said that. Please note that. LOL

Speaking in the wake of demonstrations against Danish cartoons depicting the prophet Muhammad, Sir Trevor Phillips said those living in the UK had to accept that British values include a commitment to freedom of speech, even if that means offending people.

“What some minorities have to accept is that there are certain central things we all agree about, which are about the way we treat each other - that we have an attachment to democracy, that we sort things out by voting not by violence and intimidation, that we tolerate things that we don’t like,” he told ITV1’s Jonathan Dimbleby programme. “Short of people menacing and threatening each other, we have freedom of expression. We allow people to offend each other.”

[...]

He rejected the idea that British Muslims should be allowed to live under sharia law in their communities. “I don’t think that’s conceivable,” he said. “We have one set of laws … and that’s the end of the story. If you want to have laws decided in another way, you have to live somewhere else.”

Nice! See where saying shit like that gets you?

Britain, love it or leave it!

Did anybody know that we had british islamists jailed in Egypt? No? Me neither! Well, we are deporting them back now apparantly.

Three Britons left an Egyptian jail on Tuesday after serving almost four years of their five-year sentences for spreading propaganda for an Islamist group, the mother of one of Britons said.

Officials said they would be deported to Britain within 24 hours.

The Britons — Reza Pankhurst, Maajid Nawaz and Ian Nisbett — were among a group of 26 men jailed for between one and five years for spreading the propaganda of the Hizb ut-Tahrir al-Islami (Islamic Liberation Party).

[...]

At the time of the trial, Hizb ut-Tahrir complained the authorities had tortured the defendants to extract confessions.

The Egyptian authorities say they investigate all complaints of torture in detention.

I am sure. LOL.

The human rights group Amnesty International said the trial, held in a state security court, was unfair and the men were convicted merely for expressing their views peacefully.

I love amnesty international. They must be some of the nicest people ever. What were their views again? Kill the infidels? Overthrow the government? Declare Jihad on the egyptian infidels? Did I call Amnesty International nice? I mean dumb. Dumbest people ever.

I blame the infidels…the zionists..ehhhh….

More than 7,000 Afghans protested on Tuesday against cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad in European newspapers and condemned an attack on a Shi’ite Muslim shrine in Iraq as a “plot by infidels.”

Sayed Ghulam Sakhi, head of the government-appointed Islamic Council in Ghazni, called the printing of the cartoons, the attack in Iraq and desecration of the Islamic holy book, the Koran, by U.S. forces the work of “Zionists.”

“(They) are linked together and the work of the infidels,” he said.

Another senior cleric in Ghazni, Mawlavi Jailani, charged that the attack on a Shi’ite shrine in Iraq last week, which has sparked bloody sectarian violence, was part of a “plot by the infidels to create hostility” between the two Muslim sects.

Damn zionists…ehh..Infidels…ehh…no, zionists..ehh…my brain hurts from thinking.

The average Male sperm whale releases 320 gallons of Semen everytime it unloads, but only 20 gallons actually makes it into its mate, leaving 300 gallons to spill into the ocean…… And you wonder why the water is so salty !!!

And discoverd under Souq El Khamees- an open-air “marketplace” for middle and lower class egyptians. Imagine that!

Archaeologists discovered a pharaonic sun temple with large statues believed to be of King Ramses II under an outdoor marketplace in Cairo, Egypt’s antiquities chief said Sunday.

The partially uncovered site is the largest sun temple ever found in the capital’s Aim Shams and Matariya districts, where the ancient city of Heliopolis — the center of pharaonic sun worship — was located, Zahi Hawass told The Associated Press.

Among the artifacts was a pink granite statue weighing 4 to 5 tons whose features “resemble those of Ramses II,” said Hawass, head of the Supreme Council of Antiquities.

[...]

An Egyptian team working in cooperation with the German Archaeological Mission in Egypt discovered the site under the Souq al-Khamis, a popular market in eastern Cairo, Hawass said.

“The market has to be removed” as archaeologists excavate the entire site, Hawass said.

The poor merchants, first the bird flu hysteria and now this. Hmmm…

But how weird will that be for the people living around it? I mean, one day you are living infront of souq al Khamis, the other you are living in front of a pharaonic temple. Heh..

It’s true. I am semi-blogging. I am quasi-blogging. I am the margarine of blogging. The Diet Coke of blogging. Just one calorie, not blogging enough.

Today there was suppsoed to be a rant here, one that I started writing, but stopped, because, well, it sucked. And I may not be much of a writer, but I hate it when I write something that sucks, so I am not posting it.

If anything, I have been having a serious case of apathy/writer’s block/ depression/ annoyance/boredom/ Life just sucks syndrome lately. I find myself sharing Sally’s sentiments that, as much as I try to joke about all the shit that is happening around the world, I am pretty much fed up for the moment about how incredibly stupid everything is. And while you all may be getting the same sentiment, it’s even worse when you live it. It’s worse when you actually have to explain to people that “No, you can’t get birdflu from running water” or that the danish cartoons are not part of “the zionist conspiracy to defame and attack islam and muslims”, or even having to explain to your friends that people like Irshad Manji or Iyaan Hirsi Ali-or shit, even Deeyah- are not posers who profit from “dragging Islam’s name in the mud” or using it as a publicity stunt because there is no profiting in death threats nor is any publicity worth having your life threatend till the day you die by the Jihadis (Ask Sayed Al Qimni or Farag Foodah about that, will ya?). You would think it’s obvious, but for some reason it is not, and I just don’t have the energy anymore. This sandmonkey is tired. He is tired of ranting, tired of explaining, tired of fighting a lost battle. My energy is depleted, and I have been running on empty for a while now, and i am this close to giving up. I need some rest.

This won’t be a long rest though, because, let’s face it, I am a blogaholic. But the truth is, I need to relax. I have been doing this without a break for 14 months straight and I am winded. It could be a day or a week, but chances are it won’t be longer than that. I have other things that need to get done (I know Jesse, I know, I am an asshole!) and I have to get on it. I have to set my priorities straight for a minute, and get my life in order, something that I have been trying to do for the past month and failing miserably at it. So, as you can see, I need this break for other reasons as well. So it won’t be all relaxation over here, but let’s hope that doesn’t extend the break any longer than it has to be. It won’t be permenant either, so don’t open any bottles of champaigne or anything ya Mo, will ya?

In the immortal words of Piglet: Ta Ta For Now!

The Sandmonkey

You like the Tom and Jerry Cartoon? Well, wtach out, because it’s an attempt by the evil JOOOOZZ to brainwash you into liking them. Imagine that!

I don’t know what they are smoking in Iran, but damn it must be some good shit!

Q: How do you margenalize the message that someone like Deeyah has?
A: Claim that she is a Hindu Kafir, even if she says she is muslim.

This of course moves her from the uncomfortable muslim critic category to the Islamophobic category and thus easier to disregard and attack, because,you know, only muslims are allowed to criticize muslims, and if they do, we accuse them of being of any other religion or islamophobic.

Perfect little system we have there, ain’t it?