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10#11550#Lady Godiva#40286.7159838#1

I walked on water - just like Jesus

It's true. I did walk on water just like Jesus. It was called a frozen lake. What's the big bloody deal?

10#11642#Cuff#40286.654375#2

Danny Glover Arrest Update

Famous actor took a union bullet for the French today in a protest against the Suit Company Sodexo. Claims the deplorable conditions of working 40 hours a week are inhuman.

10#11642#Cuff#40286.6537616#3

Christina Applegate Engagement

Spoof writer Ti Cuff officially issues day of mourning on the announcement that Christina is no longer a free woman. Such pain and suffering has not occurred since Jessica Alba tied the noose knot.

10#11642#Cuff#40286.6529514#4

Eight Grader Aces Spelling Bee

Brainiac Jedd Nooman won the world championship spelling contest and a 100,000 scholarship for correctly spelling the 'Iceland glacier volcano' question: Eyjafjallajokull

10#8082#Earl Grey#40286.6518287#5

Planes Sent Up To Test Ash Danger

Ryanair and Easy Jet passengers are first to take off.

10#11794#stantheman#40286.6486111#6

busy time for sir alex

Alex Fergusson joins alcoholics annonomous
says he never thought he had a problem. says Man.United manager as he visits recycling bin with a van load of empties

10#11774#Coops#40286.6271759#7

Crack

If volcanoes are God's crack pipes, he's on one massive rock bender right now.

10#8668#whatinthe world#40286.5896528#8

Blame it on the Tories

Icelandic volcanoes are not to blame but nervous Tory politicians for the unprecedented amount of ash in the upper atmosphere. If only they gave pipe smoking away, the idiotic fools.

10#10870#Tcoah#40286.4942477#9

NORAD on ALERT

Volcanic ash might be providing cover for an alien invasion. Said one NORAD worker: "The 'space invaders' don't use jet engines and so are invulnerable to ash issues."

10#10870#Tcoah#40286.4858796#10

Lewis Hamilton says

LH re-invents "Simon says" - a game for three or more McLaren players. McLaren team members must do what Lewis Hamilton tells them to do. "What Idiot" is exempt from playing.

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