Archive for: February 2002

“Get Your Wurtzel On 4″

[Elizabeth Wurtzel responds: "Here's why I like Ritalin so much: After I've eaten, say, fifteen or so pills, I lose all my inhibitions. All of them. I mean, you should've seen the look on Sam Donaldson's face when I suddenly reached for his package in the middle of a '20/20' interview a few years back. Had Cokie Roberts not been there to beat me off him with the rubber antenna on her cell phone, Ol' Sammy'd still be walkin funny..."]

Based on his research, Herbert Gintis, a self-described former Marxist economist at the University of Massachusetts and co-director of the MacArthur Foundation’s Norms and Preferences Network team, believes “‘Market societies give rise to more egalitarianism and movements toward democracy, civil liberties, and civil rights.’” In fact, Gintis argues, “‘Market societies and democratic societies are practically co-extensive.’”

For the particulars, check out Ronald Bailey’s Reason piece, “Do Markets Make People More Generous?”

“Chimpanzee waste could shed light on the origins and spread of HIV,” Nature reports.

“Delving into droppings has given AIDS researchers a surprise. Far fewer chimpanzees than they had suspected have SIVcpz, the animal virus most like HIV.”

“The technique could shed much-needed light on the origins and evolution of the viruses that cause AIDS. ‘It’s a non-invasive means to study the wild relative of HIV in its natural environment,’ says Beatrice Hahn, of the University of Alabama in Birmingham, who led the new study.”

Monkey waste inspector is number 3 on the list of jobs I’m glad I don’t have. The first two are

Pssst. Wanna see a Fat Guy beatin’ on an Illuminated Donkey for pickin’ on some fat cats?

Go on, look. It ain’t as dirty as it sounds…

From the department of If it weren’t so true, it’d be a whole lot funnier:

Uncle Melon’s “Top Ten Cars for

NRO’s Jonah Goldberg reminds us that, in addition to the Supreme Court’s responsibility to rule on issues of constitutionality, the Senate and the House likewise share the mandate to …

[Elizabeth Wurtzel responds: "Treacher's a funny word, too, if you think about it. Like 'Marvin' or 'fractious.' ....Or 'hoodwinked.'

"...Say, you gonna' finish that soft pretzel...? Lizzy likes salty dough..."]

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That's right -- Another Palestinian, uh, "bombshell" blew herself to bits at a military checkpoint today, injuring 3 policemen in the process, the a href="http://wire.ap.org/APnews/main.html?SLUG=ISRAEL%2dBOMB" title="AP Story"">AP is reporting.

Expect the predictable trotting out for the international press of this “martyr’s” proud and stoic mother, followed by a funeral procession for the “heroine” through the streets of the “occupied territory” (once the bulk of her pieces can be scraped together and boxed up, that is).

Sgt. Stryker comments on civil service employees demanding a pay raise commensurate with the proposed military pay hike:It amazes me that these are the same people who take weeks to process a friggin form and whose glacial movement ought to be a tourist attraction. Scientists should be taking core samples of their offices for clues into climate change.

But sound off that pay alarm, and they spring into action quicker than a jackrabbit, providing those who were born and raised in their waiting areas with one of Nature’s rare wonders.

Just so you know, Sarge, I’ll be passing off as my own your great lines about “glacial movement” and “core samples” — footnoting you mentally, of course…

In today’s “Impromptus” column, NRO’s Jay Nordlinger critiques this New Republic cartoon (follow the link and scroll down) — as well as the cartoonist himself, Tom Toles:Okay, here