Alpha Mummy is the blog for mums who work, used to work, or want to go back to work one day.
In some place - probably an idyllic village in Sweden - there are children who are thrilled to receive a sewing kit, or some biodegradable modelling clay, or anything knit-you-own, grow-your-own, or sustain-your-own. But here, in the real world, children are still drawn to three main areas of toy manufacture: noisy, shiny or messy, or, if you’re really lucky, all three. With that in mind, here is the top 17 toys to watch out for your children will be asking for this Christmas.
1) Spa Factory™
Every so often, a product comes along that is equally as thrilling for the child as it is horrifying for the parent. Giving girls the ingredients to make their own face masks, nail varnishes, and aromatherapy treatments, and then encouraging them to slather them on their own and their friends’ faces, is surely, if you’ll pardon the pun, a recipe for disaster. Sticky, messy, sparkly, and with a somewhat questionable message about female beauty – this one is sure to be a winner with little girls all over the country.
Spa Fantasy™ Aromatherapy Fountain (RRP £29.99)
Spa Sleepover Party for Three (RRP £24.99)
Spa Fantasy sets (from £7.99)
All available from leading online retailers
2) The Star Wars Force Trainer
This item is being heralded as the one to watch this Christmas. It has been long awaited by those in the Star Wars know, and its release this Christmas is set to cause a bit of frenzy. For those less up-to-date with Jedi happenings, the Force Trainer is a headset that uses the technology from hospital ECG machines to measure the aspiring Jedi’s beta-brain waves (emitted while concentrating) and powers the machine accordingly. While it is undoubtedly a bit unnerving that they would put such sophisticated technology in a toy, at £99.95, it is a steal for the hours of silence that it will buy, as children stare ferociously at an unmoving ping-pong ball.
The Star Wars Force Trainer (RRP £99.95)
Continue reading "Warning: the 17 most-wanted toys this Christmas" »
This week an American journal called Sex Roles has published a report on Female Breadwinners. In America nearly a third of households have a woman bringing in the main wage; in the UK 11 per cent of women outearn their men – predicted to be 25 per cent or more by 2030 (following the trends of girls massively outperforming boys at school and university and the consequent genderquake in the professions: already 60 per cent of new solicitors are women).
Of course being a mum and the main source of the family income is not an easy gig; I call it doing the double shift. The researchers found that many women denigrate their husbands’ contribution around the house to make themselves feel better about their absence.
It is true that many FBWs are superwomen – I bumped into one at a party the other day who told me that for years she had earnt all the money but also organised absolutely everything around the house; her husband was supposed to be an architect but didn’t do much of that. She would be shooting up to London on the train from the family home in Surrey to put in a sixteen hour day while arranging the kids’ play dates and running the family shop from her Blackberry.
The research suggests that women do this to still feel involved with their families while being absent and say their husbands are useless around the house to make themselves feel better.
Continue reading "How do successful women keep their husbands happy?" »
Christmas getaways, winter sun breaks, ski trips - a whole host of holiday activities tantalise over the next few months, yet sometimes parents of young children put off travel because of perceived hassle and fear that carting this little thing smaller (and more precious) than your best handbag to exotic and unpredictable environs might not be such a great idea.
Pish posh, says Alice Griffin, author of the new book "Tales from a Travelling Mum" about her escapades around Europe with child in tow. So what has she learned? At noon on Friday Alice will be liveblogging along with Linda Jones, editor of havealovelytime.com and one of the contributors to "Tales...". They'll be sharing their stories and tips, and we look forward to hearing yours too.
Set a reminder below and we'll see you then!
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In our house, the Monopoly board is the equivalent of a loaded gun. After the popular reign of Uno, the board game has hooked us and we've been playing a lot. But it's unearthed a dark side - the sore loser. Tantrums, tears, whingeing. And for once that's not the adults.
It's a common problem. Young children have trouble losing the way they have trouble sharing. But by the time they're in school, you hope they are on the way to taking to the rough with the smooth.
This article links being a sore loser with a host of other problems, such as an inability with forming and maintaining friendships, which makes sense because nobody likes that kid who threatens to quit everytime someone else scores.
Continue reading "Dilemma: what to do when your child is a bad loser" »
My husband and I argue on only four issues: the correct way to load a dishwasher, the enjoyability levels of The Nolans' back-catalogue (he's wildly pro - I get so angry hearing them I could kill a hen WITH MY BARE HANDS), whether it's quicker to get to Birmingham by train, or by car (OF COURSE IT'S QUICKER BY TRAIN, IT'S OBVIOUS, DON'T START THIS AGAIN I WILL GET LEMON), and the kids' toys.
Personally, I think a child needs two dolls - so that they can go on adventures together - a pencil, and a notepad. That's it. Everything else is decadent Western corruption. When I was a child, we made our own amusements: drinking vinegar pretending it was whisky, flooding the garden with a hose, spitting contests. Punching each other really quite hard. Permanently mentally disturbing each other with constant, low-level psychological warfare. We didn't have Hannah Montana wigs, or Pixel Chix, or, or ... Puppies In Our Pockets. We made bows and arrows out of Rosebay Willowherb (that were rubbish), glue out of flour and water (that was wholly ineffective) and papier mache objects that, for some reason, never really dried out, and rotted on the windowsill, emitting horrible, oddly turnip-y odours.
Continue reading "These kids have TOO MANY SODDING TOYS" »
New parenthood is always a fraught time - especially if you listen to all the advice you're getting. Tom Wright, how just became a daddy for the first time, has this advice to pass along. Got some of your own? Add it below.
There’s something about becoming a parent for the first time that brings out the worst in people. Everybody has a bit of advice, the most prevalent one being that “Your life will never be the same”, usually said in that scary hollow intonation reserved for horror movies. What they really mean to convey is, “Your life is over.”
What’s with the bad attitude? As a new dad I’ve already discovered that initiation into parenthood is hard at times, but it’s also fun and rewarding, and the process for getting pregnant wasn't all that bad either. The advice the helpful people give fathers has its own particular man-tinge. So let me address the favourite topics of the naysayers, in order.
Nappies:
They say: You'll be elbow deep in awfulness all the time
In reality: First couple were tricky but after that not a problem. Just watch out for the wild spray.
Money worries:
They say: You'll never go out again.
In reality: You do need to sort your finances out, getting on top of debt is a good idea but your child does not need a brand new everything. Ebay will be your new best friend.
Continue reading "7 lies people tell new dads" »
Update: Close to 500 people logged on to our live blog analysis of the Cameron/Mumsnet conversation. You can read what all our commenters had to say by clicking "Watch Now" in the module below.
Initially the Conservative leader was a bit late, then it seemed to take him longer to answer questions than Gordon Brown had. He did hit several of the big questions posed by Mumsnetters (childcare vouchers, tax credits for families and marrieds, schools) as well as several unexpected ones (the nappy allowance for disabled children) and some whimsical ones such as naff music he's listening to. He also elaborated on his biscuit choice.
See what several mummy bloggers and AM readers made of it below, and look for our next live blog soon!
***
On Thursday at 1:45pm David Cameron is chatting live on Mumsnet with its members. The last time the site held a big political town-hall type chat, Gordon Brown's biscuit preference (or lack thereof) was the headline of the day. What's going to happen this time?
Tune in to our live blog for real-time analysis of Cameron on Mumsnet. I'll be leading the discussion with top mummy bloggers Susanna of A Modern Mother, Clare Taylor from The Potty Diaries, London single mum Nixd Minx, Karen Cannard, zero waste advocate and author of The Rubbish Diet blog (and school governor) - and you can chime in throughout the discussion with comments and analysis of your own.
Sign up now below to get a reminder when the event's about to start and we'll see you there. Times Mobile users, please go to http://bit.ly/davidcameron
More on Alpha Mummy:
What it was like when Gordon Brown went on Mumsnet
One wonders if the six people who have complained to the Advertising Standards Authority about the latest M&S Christmas ad have ever seen an episode of Life on Mars, Ashes to Ashes, or indeed any holiday lingerie ad ever. The ASA received complaints that the company's latest ad featuring Philip Glenister is sexist.
As a punchline to the celebrities including Stephen Fry and Jennifer Saunders listing the good things about Christmas (mince pies, a jumper from your granny, stuffing, etc), Glenister appears, propping up a bar surrounded by a bunch of men, and lists what would be a Gene Hunt favourite: "Oh come on, it's Christmas. That girl prancing around in her underwear." Then Noemie Lenoir, the usual M&S lingerie model, appears doing a silly twirl wearing a bra and knickers.
My husband and I saw the advertisement last night and chuckled. I said something like, "It's so much more interesting when companies use humour in ads" and he said something like "They just get it, don't they?"
Continue reading "M&S ad sexism complaint shows a sense of humour failure" »
Hurrah! AM has been listed as one of the top 10 UK mummy blogs in the UK, alongside other great popular blogs. Cision, a social media research company, has come up with a ranking based on algorithms, monthly uniques, etc etc. (If you're interested, read more about the methodology here.)
The top 10 blogs are, in order of Cision's rating:
* Jo Beaufoix
* A Modern Mother
* Alpha Mummy (that's us)
* The Potty Diaries
* Sticky Fingers
* Noble Savage
* Littlemummy.com
* Notes from Inside My Mind
* Working Mum on the Verge
* Dulwich Mum
It's a question every parent has to ask themselves at some point: how cool should my kid dress?
You don't want your child kitted out head to toe in some overpriced designer outfit. Not only does it hint that you might not understand the value the money but also it implies you're one of those people who hits the slopes at Courcheval 1850 in Dior skis.
Yet don't all parents want their kids to have the totally groovy clothes we never did as a child? The clothes from Minigiants.com have re-ignited this desire in me. It's a new online kids boutique with cool designer wear (there are also soft toys that look pieced together from quilt ends, but I'll overlook that). Love love love all their pettiskirts (pictured) and the more affordable long-sleeved Ts. It's the same folks as those behind Nordic Kids, which features cool Scandinavian designs at more diminutive prices.
Now if only they stocked that skirt in adult sizes…
Update: I hear from Yummymummytips.com - whose daughter owns one of these - that they truly are fabulous!
It's a horrifying story: a girl disappears in Asda and is found 10 minutes later, her hair cut, wearing boys' clothing, in a narrowly averted kidnapping. Except it's not true.
This urban legend has been going around for years and our friend Gill at Mamas & Papas alerted me to it again today. Both she and a colleague had gotten messages via a text campaign masquerading as a safety warning. Both messages mentioned Asda stores - in different cities. And of course a story like this preys on parents' worst fears.
In fact this hoax story has a long history and has included leading stores in the US and the UK. The latest version has the distasteful bonus of mentioning that the child was found with two Romanian women (perhaps implying they are Romany or Gypsy?) for an extra measure of anti-immigrant and racist hysteria. Unlike the stories passed from person to person in the past, these days it ping-pongs quickly round the world because of technology, the Internet and Twitter.
Asda's commented on it here. You can read more about the background of the story and see how far back this story stretches. And if you get a message or chain email like this, don't send it on.
They've asked me what happens when you die before, of course - just like they've asked where babies come from, and which is, ultimately, best: Madonna, or Lady GaGa? But the thing with those Big, Difficult Conversations that you dread, is that you never have them just the one time. If I've told them about what happens when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much once, I've told them a hundred times. They just keep forgetting. And so, to be fair, do I. Last time we went through "How do babies get in the tummy?" I did all the blah bah blah "Daddy's seed" bit. "And how does Daddy's seed get in your tummy?" Eavie ask. "Through Daddy's willy," Dora replied, briskly. "It gets big." "Oh." I said, momentarily nonplussed. "Oh. And who told you that?" "You did, Mummy," Dora said. "Last time." "Oh," I said. "I must have been feeling very chatty that day. Oh." So yes. We've talked about death before - not that they or I remember it, obviously, but I'm pretty sure I ladled on the "going to heaven" thing quite strongly. I think I've always done the "heaven" thing - albeit, given my otherwise-strident aethism, a mealy-mouthed caveat of "Some people believe ...." at the start. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TELL THEM THEY ROT, OK? They always ask just before bedtime, and it's enough faff as it is, what with teeth-cleaning, and finding Eavie's "Chicken" doll (it's a duck - don't ask), and Dora often just lobbing in a querelous, "I feel like I might be scared, later, and not able to sleep," just at the point I've started to really visualise putting on America's Next Top Model, and eating an orange. You don't want to chuck in rotting then. That's delaying bedtime by at least an hour. No, no - just waffle about heaven a bit, and then get back down to the telly. But this week, I had a revealation. I interviewed Eddie Izzard - pretty much the most urgent and driven man in the world; which he all puts down to his mother dying when he was five - and realised that so much of what screws up this world comes down to not having a sense of urgency: of time passing, and, eventually, completely running out. Our vague, communal, lazy belief that poverty, global warming, various wars, inequalities and vexations are all things that will be sorted out "in a bit," without any particular application on our behalves, surely spring from the root-belief that, in some way, this isn't it; that this world is an odd warm-up act for the real thing: lovely old eternity, where the real stuff kicks in. As long a we all think we can "sort it out later," we'll never sort it out now. Humanity is hard-wired to push every deadline to its limit. And of course, if we believe in an afterlife, there is no limit. If you believe in an afterlife - where all your goodness will finally be noted, and taken into account, and justice will reign - it's like playing a computer game in "infinite lives" cheat-mode. If you believe, from day one, however, that this is your only pop at it - if you come to terms, early on, with the simple yet gigantic concept of there actually being An End - then this is, surely, almost like deciding not to be mad any more. Everything suddenly becomes very clear. You can't make up with your awkward mother in heaven - you've got to do it now. If the idea of human suffering upsets you, then you must do something about it, like, this week. If you think you'll miss Nanna when she dies, call her up right now - you're not going to sit around and natter with her in heaven for hours. There's no catch-up facility, and no re-play facility. There's no "next level." I don't want my kids growing up with a sense of endlessly deferring things. I want them to be as alive as they can. I want them to be present in their own lives. So yes. Next time they ask about death, I'm going to say, very gently, "The amazing thing is kids, we're alive! We can do anything we want now, if we put our minds to it. We can think and talk and feel and move, and make our lives pretty much however we want. So that when we die, we don't regret anything. We die with our diaries full." Yes. That's what I'll say. Unless America's Next Top Model is about to start.
At least, that's the title for this collection of pictures of children with their idiots grown-ups. The first one really takes the cake.
The recall in America of several models of Maclaren "strollers" after children lost parts of their fingers has caused a kerfuffle on this side of the pond. We wondered why the same pushchairs weren't getting recalled here - does it have anything to do with the nature of Brits versus Americans? (To further confuse matters, the "recall" in the States was actually the company providing hinge covers that parents could affix to their pushchairs, rather than the items being returned.)
Initially Maclaren wasn't providing the free hinge covers here in the UK. Now, in a statement, the company has said it will.
"In the last few days, we have heard from hundreds of customers at our call centre and we have been able to reassure them about the quality and safety of our products. Most parents understand that they have to be vigilant when operating mechanical products around children, similar to the care they show when securing children in cars or protecting them around the home. We stress that our buggies are completely safe and fully compliant but if parents remain concerned or worried, we urge them to talk to us."
The company has provided a number they can call: 01327 841320.
And now pushchair owners can receive the hinge covers, free of charge, by emailing advice@maclaren.co.uk or calling the company at the above number.
More on Alpha Mummy The Maclaren recall: What, don't we love our kids' fingers here?
I've never been one for putting down the entreprenuerial spirit. Want to build a helmet with ears for accident-prone toddlers? Be my guest! Improving on the twirling spaghetti fork? Your target market awaits.
But recently at the Baby Show I came across something that slices it too fine, that seeks to fill a need just a step beyond the pale. It's the little black birthing dress.
"Every pregnant woman deserves a little black dress to birth in" the company's promotional material states and who could argue - except those who think that, before the dress, every pregnant woman deserves adequate birthing facilities and trained professionals to assist? "Wear the perfect dress to celebrate your special day!" its flier trumpets.
Continue reading "The little black dress to give birth in" »
I just read this moving post on post-natal depression on yummymummytips.com. Knowing this mum now, I would never have guessed that she ever felt so depressed that she attemped suicide. She's so vital and bubbly.
The irony is that I didn’t manage to end it. I have since been told that I am the only person ever to survive jumping the 75ft from the top of that multi-storey car park. It happens a lot more than you know
Read her blog now, as part of the latest British Mummy Bloggers Carnival that focuses on the theme of birth / birthday / rebirth. Check out Kelly's post on feelings of jealousy about birth. And Laura's unexpected birth tale. And all the other great posts from British mummy bloggers.
Read the posts now.
Beth Miller, who blogs on the wonderful Small Pleasures (tagline: "Chuntering about life and parenting in Lewes"), has sent along this missive about the effect of children on her heretofore impeccable taset in music. Hint: they don't improve it. She writes:
You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music
Everyone knows that pregnancy turns stony-hearted kick-ass women into saps who weep at cute liddle Pampers adverts. But that’s as nothing next to the transformations wrought by parenthood. For me, one of the most remarkable has been my changed attitude towards - how else to put it? - shite music.
Pre-children, I was a purist, some might say an avenging purist, who would only listen to music in the best possible taste. I had been known to turn off other people’s car stereos, without asking, when Celine Dion slithered onto the radio; to break off relationships over Bryan Adams; and to leave an otherwise very good party because the host insisted on sharing his Marillion collection. (Actually I still feel rightly indignant about that.)
Continue reading "How I learned to stop worrying and start loving cheesy music" »
Read one of Modern Mother's latest posts, about school-gate personalities. Am aware that I fall somewhere between The Working Mum ("often volunteers for mundane events even though she barely has time to keep the fridge full...") and Now-You-See-Me-Now-You-Don't Mum ("only turns up at high-profile school functions").
Read them all and tell which kind you are. (Be honest!)
A Modern Mother's "Who Are You at the Schoolgate?"
More on Alpha Mummy:
Caitlin Moran: I'm scared of big school
More on School Gate:
Don't take the "playground mafia" too seriously
The school gate can be scary
Do working mums volunteer more?
American kids are reputed to have a lot of things that the British don't want for their own kids - loud manners, acquisitive natures. But the tips of their fingers isn't on that list.
Maclaren is recalling a million strollers in the United States following 12 reports of children having fingertips cut off by a side hinge. I've yet to uncover just how much of the fingers have been cut off by these "amputations" as they've been described. Of course, it's not as if people have loads of unwanted finger acreage. Any bit you've lost off your child's finger - whether through accident or from simply being disorganised - is going to seem like too much. To me, the word "amputation" seems like the kind of thing that takes off a knuckle, with a lot of crunching of bone.
Yet Maclaren is not recalling strollers in the UK. What, we don't love our kids' hands here too? In a statement the company says there's a difference between a "recall" here and a "recall" in the States.
“In the US the term product recall has an entirely different meaning. It means corrective action or the modification of products which can be carried out in the home. In response to accidents which occurred when buggies where not operated in line with instructions and safety guidelines our US Company decided to voluntarily supply kits to cover the elbow joint as a safety measure. There are a lower number of similar reported incidents amongst the considerably higher number of Maclaren buggies sold in Europe. If a buggy is folded or unfolded in line with our operating instructions the risk of injury is non-existent.”
It's easy to get outraged at companies whose products aren't safe enough - from toys with toxic paint to cribs with head-trapping bars. Yet why haven't we heard of fingers getting sliced in the UK or Europe?
Continue reading "The Maclaren recall: What, don't we love our kids' fingers here?" »
The most popular petition on the Downing Street website right now is the one protesting the scrapping of the Employer Support Childcare scheme, aka childcare vouchers. Gordon Brown is now facing a revolt from Labour women over plans to axe the benefits to working women.
I'm not surprised. While the government says that too much of the benefit is being enjoy by "rich" people, that's not my experience, or what female party figures are saying. The majority who benefit from the scheme are middle or lower income working families. And this isn't a handout, it's a tax break on earned income.
High-quality affordable childcare is as rare as a good Sandra Bullock movie. It's also the one of the most important factors in the positive development for young children with working parents. When I first went back to work, it was the only reason why we were above break-even.
Continue reading "The fight to keep childcare vouchers grows" »
Alpha Mummy's team
Jennifer Howze, mother of
one and stepmother of one, is Lifestyle editor of Times Online
Eleanor Mills is Associate Editor, The Sunday Times and a columnist on News Review
Caitlin Moran, mother of two,
is a columnist for The Times
Sarah Vine, mother of two, is
a columnist for The Times
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