I miss it already.

Shabbat shalom to all of you!!

(image source)

I think I’ve linked to this before but it doesn’t hurt to give this report its own post.

Sixty years ago, on Nov. 29, 1947, the UN General Assembly passed UNGA Resolution 181. This was the Partition Resolution which recommended dividing mandatory Palestine into two states, one for the Jewish population and one for the Arab population. The states were not to be exclusive to those groups but would include minority groups and would be democratic. Jerusalem was to be shared by the international community which would have jurisdiction. The borders of both states were essentially indefensible and in parts were barely contiguous. Although the Jewish community was given about 56% of the land, most of it included the Negev desert – not particularly arable or hospitable. The General Assembly anticipated that there would be significant migration of Jews to the new Jewish state, although at that time they had no idea there would be 800,000 Jewish refugees from Arab lands that were going to be coming as well.

The General Assembly voted on this resolution on the basis of recommendations from a report by UNSCOP, the United Nations Special Committee on Palestine. UNSCOP was given the mission of providing a report within three months and spent that time intensively interviewing, researching and visiting the people and places in question. They concluded with two recommendations, a majority recommendation (partition) and a minority recommendation (for a federation – one state with two nations living in cantons).

The UNSCOP report is fascinating, informative, extremely reasonable in its approach and conclusions, and provides an amazing educational tool regarding the political, economic, social, religious, military and historic aspects of the conflict over Palestine and the birth of Israel…and still-birth of an Arab country. It’s lengthy, but it’s an easy and worthwhile read.

Find it here.

We take it for granted sometimes that we enjoy freedom of speech, a strong democracy, a vibrant election system that enjoys the benefits of a free media and that any citizen can freely run for office.

I believe that we were all hoping that Russia would grow into this type of robust democracy just as some some of its former Eastern European (vassal) states have. Unfortunately, as we are learning, the shift to democracy and a free market did not go smoothly and Vladimir Putin has taken advantage over the past several years by solidifying his power, imprisoning opponents, playing dirty tricks with opposition parties and politicians, and doing everything in his power to turn Russia into a dictatorship that pretends to be a democracy.

Garry Kasparov, who was the world’s chess champion for many years and who is Jewish, could be living anywhere in the world and enjoying the fame and fortune he earned. Instead, bravely, he returned to Moscow and entered politics with the express purpose of defending the existence of Russian democracy. He has met numerous challenges, apparently state instigated, along the way. He has had demonstrations cancelled, has been shoved around by policemen, had speeches disrupted and crowds dispersed, and received subtle threats from authorities.

Undaunted, Kasparov has continued to run for office and has done his best to generate some publicity. His cause has been helped by the occasional media report in Western countries, but it has been a difficult uphill struggle. I would guess that it may even be a dangerous struggle if only because opponents of Putin’s regime have been jailed, beaten or possibly even killed.

Kasparov has just been released from a five day jail sentence where he was not permitted to speak to a lawyer. He was arrested for taking part in an opposition march at a time when Russian elections are pending. He predicts that if this type of governmental hubris continues, Russia will fall into chaos. I think he’s being optimistic and in truth very little will happen.

He is a brave man with his heart in the right place, not to mention a strong sense of justice and fairness. We wish him well.

It has to be noted as well that Russia has just backed out of an arms treaty with other European nations, because of its opposition to the placement of American arms systems on that continent.

I am seriously in need of expanded horizons…

Oh and did I mention how clever I thought Designist Dream (Get it?) was? Yeah? Oh. Well whatever.

That was the latest holiday viral video by my pal and obsessive Scrabulous partner Will of Shabot6000 fame. The video is meant to promote the Website MyJewishLearning.com, described as “a trans-denominational website of Jewish information and education geared toward learners of all ages and educational backgrounds.” Funded by The Samuel Bronfman Foundation, The Charles and Lynn Schusterman Foundation, Jewish Life Network/Steinhardt Foundation and The Abramson Family Foundation and partnered with a whole slew of neat-o organizations, the site is chock full of awesome Jewy information!

Now, Jewlicious isn’t funded by anyone but, inspired by this awesome video, I think we can contribute a few things to the state of Jewish Literacy! For instance, depictions of images of God are problematic in the Jewish religion. So while watching this video may or may not be prohibited, it’s probably not a good idea to worship the golden toothed funkster depiction of God presented within. Also, while God teaches Tod about Hanukkah, prior to leaving, God lights a cigar off of the Chanukiah. Now, God being omnipotent and all, can probably do that with impunity, but Jewish law, and the blessings we recite upon lighting the candles are pretty clear – unless you are an omnipotent being, lighting stogies off of a Chanukiah, or using it for anything other than the commemoration of the miracle of Hanukkah, is strictly prohibited.

Yay! Trans-denominational Jewish Literacy is fun!

Yes, it is true. I have returned from Israel after my first visit in a bunch of years. I was in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Ashdod, Ashkelon, Sderot and even visited with our grand poobah, ck. Although I have no recollection of this, he claims we discussed anal bleaching.

Some brief observations:

I thought the breakfast menu at Lehem Erez is excellent. $10 will get you eggs, cheeses with za’atar olive oil, olives, salad, orange juice, tea, butter, jam, plenty of fresh bread and some granola with yogurt, honey and fresh fruit. Bring good friends.

The Tel Aviv Museum of Art is in decline. I was disappointed with their current exhibits and the disappearance of their early Israeli paintings.

South Tel Aviv keeps looking better and better.

Yafo can be very cool if your host knows the city’s history.

In Tel Aviv, traffic sucks. Do not miss that turn to the street you’ve been searching for because it will take you another 13 minutes just to get back to your starting point. If you make another mistake, expect to lose another 10-15 minutes of your life making up for that mistake too. Do not get angry because ALL Israeli drivers are meaner than you.

The kiriyah building looks like it’s falling apart. Who had the brilliant idea of putting half of Israel’s officers in one building in the middle of its busiest city anyway?

Israel’s roads have improved markedly over the past several years. Israelis still drive dangerously. And sometimes rudely. Best time to drive is just before shabbat – the roads are empty and Israel feels just like…the Jewish state.

Everywhere in Israel, one sees ample numbers of coffee shops that make Starbucks look small and tawdry by comparison (the coffee’s better, too). New affluence is visible in the many new cars, high-end clothing stores, multi-lane and newly paved roads, upgraded new condos, and construction cranes. Subaru is no longer the primary car one sees on the roads and there are way fewer falafel, hummus and middle eastern restaurants than in the past. In short, the economy appears to be booming.

Ashdod is nothing but new apartment buildings. It is the embodiment of a bedroom community. Endless new buildings greet you at every turn, but where do people work? Nice beach.

In Ashdod, one driver almost had a heart attack yelling at The Middle for not giving right of way in an intersection. I urged him, politely, to see a doctor for his blood pressure. Fortunately, his loud response was lost as I drove off as the light turned green.

Ashkelon is a sleepy town. I prefer the “countryside” around it.

In Sderot, waking up in the middle of the night to a female voice calling in Hebrew for “Red alert” over and over means that some Palestinians have launched a rocket in the last few seconds AND IT IS HEADING YOUR WAY. The bastards are trying to kill you! Unlike The Middle, be sure to know where you’re supposed to go and what you’re supposed to do before you hear this warning. Fortunately, I am still alive, and except for some cars that were heavily damaged in the ensuing explosion – I think it took less than a minute from the warning but time did seem to slow down considerably so my estimate may be wrong – nobody was hurt in this explosion or the one that followed a couple of minutes later.

Sderot is otherwise half empty but a cool town. I met Israelis of Moroccan and Kurdish descent, had some fabulous hamin (Sephardic chulent) and other traditional foods, attended services in a dilapidated but warm synagogue where the entire congregation (well, the males anyway since the women are in the back behind the mechitzah) took part in leading the prayers by singing the liturgy. Despite his terrible singing, The Middle was given an aliyah by the way, and was indeed honored!

If ck goes to his sofa, he’ll find a block of chocolate halva that I bought and forgot there.

ck should consider moving to new digs. He was very kind to let me stay over when I had no place to stay. Fortunately, after the anal bleaching discussion at the restaurant (thankfully, the pretty waitress interrupted to give me a drink on the house) we still were able to muster some political talk.

Many ultra-Orthodox Israelis now work for a living. They have to because subsidies were cut by the government. One Ultra-Orthodox friend gave me a talk about how all ultra-Orthodox should be working for a living, and studying only after supporting their families. He had three grandchildren born to him in the previous month…and he’s not even 50 years old yet. Of his 5 children who have been married off so far, none had served in the IDF or done national service. All of them, however, worked for a living and in a couple of cases, their wives did as well. Lovely and warm people.

The ultra-Orthodox are having tons of kids. Their neighborhoods are bursting and new construction can be seen or is being planned in their areas.

The hills of Jerusalem are magnificent, as long as you ignore the endless construction.

I saw perhaps the most gorgeous view from an apartment in Jerusalem ever. I won’t reveal where because I plan to buy there one day and it is still reasonably priced.

On the other hand, if you are fortunate enough to have a home with a view in Jerusalem, expect that some government official will allow some developer to build right in front of your building precisely to the height that will obliterate your view. Fortunately, real estate prices are going through the roof so you will be able to sell your property at a profit anyway.

Speaking of real estate in Israel, do not even attempt to understand how people whose average income is far lower than the US can afford homes that are more expensive than homes in our fine capitalist country, the US. I think Jerusalem and Tel Aviv prices are in the vicinity of Boston real estate prices.

Do not listen to the clerk in the cd store when he tells you Shlomi Even’s album is excellent.

Trust your own instincts and buy Beit HaBubot’s excellent second cd instead.

Few Israelis were paying attention to, or concerned about, the Annapolis conference.

Few Israelis even want to discuss politics, preferring to discuss everything from food to marathons instead.

All of the couples I know in Israel are happily married. Really!

All the families I know in Israel would like me to move to Israel.

I wouldn’t mind, for a while anyway. Anybody know how I could make a living there?

Was Bukowski a Nazi/sympathizer? Does it matter in issues concerning turning his old bungalow into a civic monument? Here’s a choice old quote to remember the bum by and a story about a bungalow From CNN:

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

Now it’s up to fans of the gutter poet to take up the fight to have his beaten-down bungalow turned into a civic monument over the objections of the property’s owners, who claim he was a Nazi sympathizer.

Backers say the east Hollywood abode deserves recognition and the restoration that would go with it because it’s where Bukowski banged out stories and poems that transformed him from a working stiff with a literary streak into an internationally celebrated author.

“The great books that really started him on his career — that all happened on De Longpre [Avenue],” said Neeli Cherkovski, author of “Bukowski: A Life” and a friend of the writer. “It was where Charles Bukowski became the voice of Los Angeles.”

But the owners, who tried to sell the bungalow court as tear-down for $1.3 million, are poised to fight the proposal before a city commission Thursday based on allegations that Bukowski had Nazi leanings.

Co-owner Victoria Gureyeva refused to discuss the issue on her lawyer’s advice, but previously said she would enlist local Jewish activists in her campaign against landmarking.

“This man loved Hitler,” Gureyeva, who is Jewish, told the alternative newspaper LA Weekly. “This is my house, not Bukowski’s. I will never allow the city of Los Angeles to turn it into a monument for this man.”
…
Attorney Joseph Trenk said their challenge includes the Nazi allegations, an issue raised by poet Ben Pleasants in the book “Visceral Bukowski: Inside the Sniper Landscape of L.A. Writers.”

Pleasants, who has not been asked to appear at the landmarking hearing, said the author’s sympathies toward Nazi Germany are crucial to understanding his writing.

“There are many examples of him making the bad guys Jewish,” Pleasants said in an interview, citing a sneering reference to Jewish lawyers in the book “Ham on Rye.” In his own book, Pleasants recounts a time he was interviewing Bukowski at a deli when the writer “gawked at the predominantly Jewish diners” and belted out “turn on the gas,” a reference to concentration camp gas chambers.

But Gerald Locklin, author of the biography “Charles Bukowski: A Sure Bet,” said he can’t remember any evidence of anti-Semitism in Bukowski’s work or correspondence he shared with the author.

United Nations General Assembly Resolution 181
November 29, 1947

The Jewish world welcomed this news with tears and dancing. After nearly 2000 years, the UN vote brought the reality of a modern Jewish state to within months.

Read the entire text below, if you have some time.
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I have always wondered what fellow passengers on trains, planes, buses, and cars have thought of the box strapped to my head with black leather. My Tefillin. What do they think of these bobbing mumbling semitic folks with outlandish headgear? Well, it seems in the age of Homeland Insecurity, and Orange Terror Alerts, these leather boxes we Jews have been strapping to our heads and arms for millennia are a perceived threat. Ynetnews reports:

A Jewish passenger on a Chicago train was arrested after fellow passengers accused him of being a suicide bomber.

The incident took place on a train that left Chicago early in the morning – when Jewish men are obligated to put on tefillin (phylacteries). The passenger began strapping the head-tefillin to his forehead and passengers unfamiliar with the custom rushed to the conductor and told him there was a man on board who was fastening a box to his head with wires dangling from it.”

The conductor approached the passenger but the latter refused to answer him as he was in the middle of the prayer, heightening the conductor’s suspicions.

Meanwhile, the passengers grew even more frantic when they noticed that the passenger sitting next to the Jewish man had a Middle-Eastern appearance and wore a turban.

“That was too much,” said the Bob Byrd, NICTD chief of security.

The passengers panicked and the engine driver stopped the train. Police officers rushed into the train with a bomb-sniffing dog.

Police investigators soon realized their mistake and apologized to the passenger.

“This incident has given us all an opportunity to learn about other religions and their customs,” said the chief of security.

Though commonly considered to be a typically Christian custom, occasionally frowned upon as ‘goyish’, gift-giving among adults during the winter holiday season was an invention of the more or less secular bourgeois classes of the 19^th century CE. The newly evolving upper middle class cherished the idea of being able to afford the luxury of exchanging gifts. Before then, many cultures knew customary gift-giving to children during the winter season, often in connection with winter solstice celebrations. Customarily, those gifts for children included sweet treats and a (often hand- & homemade) toy. Most people were rather poor, and prior to Georg Wertheim, department stores with lower prices, more choices and easier return policies than specialized retailers were unheard of . (Indeed, ladies and gentlemen, a German Jewish merchant opened what is considered to be the first real department store.)

According to my experience, the hairier sex is more reluctant to shopping for gifts than their fairer counterparts. and some of them will try to delegate those ‘duties’ by having their mother, girlfriend or secretary obtain the gifts for them. Others will dig out ‘principles’ by which they may not buy gifts for somebody just because of a certain holiday or private occasion. Gentlemen, face it, while you’re trying to pull off your most innocently adoring face when telling us that we’d deserve a gift not only once a year just because it was a holiday, the words “cheap <insert expletive of choice>” form in the back of our heads. Those words go straight to our hearts. Our little big sensitive hearts. And they hurt. Oh yes, they hurt. And we will use them against you when you least expect it – the latest when choosing the text for your obituary.

There are a few good reasons though to give gifts on Chanukah:

1. unlike of an anniversary of any kind, people in your environment will more likely remind you of the upcoming event, hence you will not forget a gift quite as easily;

2. apart from the Sabbath, even the religiously observant may carry stuff on Chanukah;

3. the smile on your beloved ones’ faces when they receive a thoughtfully chosen or diligently made token of affection.

I’d like to provide the y-chromosome owners among the readers with a few tips on what to watch out for when trying to find a gift for the lady of their hearts:

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Mahmoud Abbas, in the best Arafat impression he could muster, actually balked at signing the innocuous document (see below) at the last minute. Apparently, Condi had to take him aside, whisper sweet nothings in his ear or twist his arm with threats to have him sign it. This enabled Bush to mangle Olmert and Abbas’s names and read this bit of nothingness to the world.

To what do the parties agree? Well, to honor past agreements such as the Road Map. This was a document which the Israeli government signed after declaring that it opposed 14 clauses. No mention of any such rejection now. This statement also states that the two parties will negotiate for peace and hold all kinds of meetings to facilitate negotiations. The negotiations will be overseen by the Americans who will also play referee regarding who is upholding their side of the agreement. And in a big victory for the Palestinians, this statement equates Israeli “incitement and terrorism” with Palestinian incitement and terrorism (I kid you not).

A great deal of noise was made about the attendance at the summit of many Arab and Muslim nations that have no relations with Israel. This backfired on Israel. The Saudis, who supposedly worded their 2002 declaration for a comprehensive peace in the ME with ambiguous language opening a door to settling the Palestinian refugeee issue, stated explicitly at this summit that they expect a full return of refugees into Israel. Other nations refused to meet or discuss anything with their Israeli counterparts, alienating Israel as always. There appears to be no evidence of any form of serious support by these nations for a peace program and their attendance signifies nothing more than mindful, grudging acceptance of strong American pressure to attend.

And the Palestinians? Here is what Abbas said in his speech following Bush’s:

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JDub Records and Taglit-birthright israel are celebrating Hanukkah this year in a big way. They are organizing a series of shows in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Seattle, Washington DC, Tel Aviv, Miami, Moscow, Philadelphia and Toronto all taking place on Saturday December 8th. Some of the artists performing include SoCalled, Golem, Hadag Nachash, Balkan Beat Box, The Leevees, Soulico and more. You can get more info on the event Web site goeight.com. Most of the venues will feature exciting live music, but here in Israel, attendees will be entertained by… a dj. Because lord knows there are no suitable live acts in Tel Aviv and in all of Israel. We are apparently a cultural wasteland dependent upon some dude and his collection of bootleg mp3s. No doubt we’ll be grooving to Akon. Smack That indeed. Anyhow, for the benefit of us losers in Israel as well as anyone else who cares, I put together this collection of video clips featuring some of the live acts we will not see. Simply slide your mouse over the screen below and pick your fave act or just let it play for you, kinda like a TV. Enjoy!

For those of you planning on attending, please visit goeight.com and buy tickets quickly! For those of you wishing to attend the party in Tel Aviv which promises to feature, and I quote, “DJ’s [sic.], Dredyls [sic.], and Dancing” please send an RSVP to our buddy Jacob Shwirtz at Jacob@TaglitBRI.com. Once you RSVP you will get the details of the secret location. “Holy underground rave party, Batman!” I uh… can’t wait.

“Abbas is very ugly! Olmert is very ugly! Hanniyeh is good!”
A local shared these words of wisdom with me on a recent trip to Ramallah. I was standing around the bus station (as it were) trying to figure out how to get the hell out of Ramallah given that all the checkpoints were closed due to a terror alert in Jerusalem this past Sunday. We were attracting a bit of a crowd and split when some Palestinian police officers suggested that we do so because it was getting dark and “…Daoud, there are many bad people here.” I suppose he was referring to the aforementioned Hamas supporter and his buddies. However, that dude got into the cab with us to the Kallandiyeh crossing and even paid for it, and he, unlike George Bush, leader of the free world, knew how to pronounce the names of Ehud Olmert and Mahmoud Abbas. He also knew what the capital of Uganda was. I’m not sure President Bush knows that either. Anyhow, while we were discussing Pam Anderson’s butt hole in the comments, Bush at the Annapolis Peace Talks, mangled pronunciation as follows:

source: ThinkProgress.org and CNN of course.

Anyhow, after three hours on the road (usually a 40 minute ride) we made it back to Jerusalem. So that was fun. Here are pics from this trip if you care:

www.flickr.com Jewlicious’ Ramallah III photoset

So what else has been going on while we’ve been ignoring Annapolis? Well, it seems Tel Aviv beat Copenhagen! No, not in soccer or in cricket, but in fabulousness! See there’s been a bit of an online Fashionista Battle Royale, pitting the beautiful people of different cities against each other to see who is the fairest of them all. Check out StreetClash and vote for Israel in the next round. And if while ignoring Annapolis you want to hone your fashion sense even further, you MUST check out this new blog by Zeva, wife (imaginary or otherwise) of Harry.

Designist Dream (get it? get it?) deals with style, design and fashion in Israel. Chock full of bon mots and witticisms, Zeva lends credence to the claim that she actually exists by being a better blogger than Harry! Seriously though, check it out. Designist Dream is awesome. I mean unless you really want to follow the wankfest at Annapolis instead. Or the opening of Hooters in Netanya. It’s your call dude.

So Bashar al-Assad’s administration has done the audacious act of implementing a nationwide ban on access to Facebook.com from inside Syria, WashingtonPost.com reported Friday.

What’s most interesting is the story given to many clandestine bloggers during the early stages of Syria’s internet crackdown:

Ammar al-Qurabi, head of the National Association for Human Rights, said little independent political content published by Syrians on the Internet is now tolerated.

“We have asked officials and they said Facebook could become a conduit for Israeli penetration of our youth, but the real reason for blocking the forum because it provides for criticism of the authorities,” Qurabi said.

That was the lie? That was the coverup? They said it was because of a potential “Israeli penetration”? It is an injustice to intelligent life to call that anything less than irrational and paranoid.

And it’s not like it worked anyway. Like I show on thisisbabylon.net, Syrian PCs are coming with “hacking software” designed to permit unimpeded web access preinstalled, and now “Facebook tourism” to Lebanon’s internet cafés is skyrocketing.

For more, go to thisisbabylon.net.

Reuters reports that Oxford University’s debating club has invited Holocaust denier David Irving and National Party leader Nick Griffin to speak at a free speech forum on Monday. Several MPs also invited to speak at the forum refused to share the same platform with Irving and Griffin and will be given time to speak before the actual debate as AP reports. Supporters of the invitation of Irving and Griffin argue that freedom of speech entailed that anybody was entitled to share their opinion while opponents asked the debating club to reconsider the invitation.

In other news, co-founder of Germany’s extremely left-wing RAF and later lawyer of the extremely right-wing NPD Horst Mahler has been sentenced to six months in prison without probation by a German court for doing the Hitler salute. Mahler previously served time in prison on grounds of denying the Holocaust and using of non-constitutional symbols.

Hollywood’s “A-List” celebrities take to a new cause reminding us that the War in Iraq is SO last week!

For more hating on Silverman, click here.

I typically stay away from politics but I found two well written essays that I enjoyed reading and I believe they balance each other out politically.

Even though they come from differing political perspectives, both share a common trait when it comes to the conference of Middle East nations set to take place at the end of this month in Annapolis, Md.: They’re both very skeptical of anything meaningful coming out of the meeting.

The first piece comes from the new issue of the New York Review of Books. Avishai Margalit gives his take of David Shulman’s book, “Dark Hope: Working for Peace in Israel and Palestine.”

Shulman is an American-born Israeli who made aliyah in 1967. He served in the Israeli Army and attended Hebrew University where he later became a professor of humanistic studies in the Department of Comparative Religion. He is the author or co-author of 19 books and he received a MacArthur Fellowship in 1987.

“Dark Hope” is a diary of four years Shulman spent working with a Jewish-Arab peace activist group called Ta’Ayush. While he does not seem naive about Palestinian violence, Shulman comes down hard on West Bank settlers for their part in the conflict. Here’s how he describes them:

Israel, like any society, has violent, sociopathic elements. What is unusual about the last four decades in Israel is that many destructive individuals have found a haven, complete with ideological legitimation, within the settlement enterprise. Here, in places like Chavat Maon, Itamar, Tapuach, and Hebron, they have, in effect, unfettered freedom to terrorize the local Palestinian population; to attack, shoot, injure, sometimes kill—all in the name of the alleged sanctity of the land and of the Jews’ exclusive right to it.

Like I said, he comes down hard on the settlers so be prepared for that.

As for Annapolis, here’s Margalit’s forecast:

Israeli Prime Minster Ehud Olmert and Palestinian President Abu Mazen, or so it is hoped, may agree on principles for a settlement of the conflict. But Abu Mazen, according to reports, wants an agreement to be specific and Olmert wants it to be vague, and the question is whether they can arrive at a compromise. The conference would deal with the core issues between the two sides: Jerusalem, refugees, and territories. The two men are desperately in need of an agreement, even if only to show that they are still politically relevant. Many believe that any such deal would fall apart even if it were signed: the two leaders are so politically weak that it does not matter what they agree on.

The second essay comes from The Jewish Press where David Samuels writes that the Annapolis peace conference has already been “widely dismissed as a meaningless encounter between a corrupt Israeli prime minister with single-digit public support and the bumbling leader of a kleptocratic gang who can barely control the three square miles around his office.”

Samuels, who wrote the June 2007 cover story in the Atlantic Monthly about Condi Rice’s Middle East diplomacy, goes on to discuss why he thinks the Bush administration wants the conference. He also draws parallels to the Bush strategy in Iraq and describes how conditions in America seem ripe for anti-Semitism to flourish:

In private, I hear it is simply too painful and depressing to contemplate the idea that there will be no easy peace between Israel and the Palestinians, that American Jews have become scapegoats for popular unease about terrorism, that political anti-Semitism has become normative thought among large sectors of the global intelligentsia, or that the tension between Israel and the United States will continue to grow as a future administration seeks a way out of the present morass in Iraq and comes to terms with a nuclear-armed Iran.

The essay’s literary aspects emerge towards the end when Samuels brings in analyses of Philip Roth’s “The Plot Against America” and Michael Chabon’s “The Yiddish Policeman’s Union” to help make his point.

In this era of increased anti-Semitism, Samuels says he does not think it’s a coincidence that two of America’s leading Jewish writers have penned novels in which “the American Jewish paradise” came to an end or never existed.

Now that you’re thoroughly depressed, I’d like to offer a third article that may offer a glimmer of hope. The Independent reported yesterday that a program to bring landmark foreign works to Arabic-speaking readers has chosen “The Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer” among its first 100 books to translate.

I know it’s not much to write home about but it’s certainly a step in the right direction. After all, with expectations set so low for Annapolis, you’ve got to believe this ‘literary diplomacy’ will do more for relations than any politician can.

Cross-posted on JewishLiteraryReview.com.

Obviously in this season of Thanksgiving, one of the things that people are most thankful for is the embrace of their family: sometimes a little tighter than we’d like or perhaps edging on dysfunction for some, but for the most part, we’re who we are because of the family that’s surrounded us.

Songstress and actress Rena Strober has two families, both of which are alluded to in the title of her one-woman show, “Spaghetti and Matzo Balls,” which I caught last month and (mea culpa) was supposed to have written the review for by now. The show was a limited engagement at New York’s Triad Theater, and closed on November 11. (Sorry for not finishing this review before now, Rena; but the way NY theater works, it’s possible the show’s not gone forever.)

While I expected Strober’s story to be about how one of her parents is Jewish and the other is Italian and non-Jewish, this is actually about a Jewish girl who finds a second family, or more appropriately, a famiglia, in the Italian-American community through her regular performances at the famous New York restaurant Rao’s. (For another connection to family, Strober co-authored the show with her brother Dean.) Here’s a 3-minute promo for the show, so you can get a flavor.

Now, if you’re a New York news junkie, you’ll recognize Rao’s as a restaurant that, though lauded for its food and authentic Italian atmosphere as well as its celebrity clientele, is now closed, in part due to a violent shooting that happened there in December of 2003.

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Thanksgiving was first celebrated by the settlers at Plymouth in the Massachusetts colony in 1621 under the leadership of Governor William Bradford. Washington and Madison each issued a Thanksgiving proclamation once during their Presidencies. It was not until 1863, however, when Lincoln issued his Thanksgiving Day Proclamation that the holiday was established as a national annual event, occurring on the last Thursday of November. The first observance of the national holiday came one week after the dedication of the Soldiers National Cemetery at Gettysburg. (NPS.GOV)

I find the rare honesty and spirit of Lincoln’s proclamation reminds me that we can have God-fearing and wise leaders acting for good. Alas, we are a nation suffering under haughty leaders, drunk on the wine of their power, acting irresponsibly, deceitfully, gorging themselves on our national spirit, consuming our national pride, empowering tyrants, arming evildoers, enriching themselves, their cronies, and their class without guilt, endangering and sacrificing lives for vain mislaid schemes.

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the everwatchful providence of almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggressions, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the most high God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United Stated States to be affixed.

PRESIDENT LINCOLN’S THANKSGIVING DAY PROCLAMATION, OCTOBER 3, 1863.

This time the Iranian nut in question is not President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. It’s pistachios! Iranian pistachios, sold through Turkey are making there way onto Israeli store shelves. Muffti doesn’t know if there is a difference in taste but its got the US geovernment AND cali pistachio farmers upset. Jpost reports:

The reddish nuts are landing in Israeli shops after funneling through Turkey, violating Israeli law that bans all Iranian imports and angering American officials who are urging Israel to crack down as part of their attempt to keep Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons.

US Undersecretary of Agriculture Mark Keenum said in a meeting with Israeli officials in Rome on Monday that the pistachio imports must stop, a US official confirmed Wednesday. Both the US and Israel have been pushing for new UN sanctions to persuade Iran to abandon its nuclear program. Iran insists its ambitions are peaceful.

“This causes great anger, especially since pistachios succeed in coming in through a third country,” Israeli Agriculture Minister Shalom Simchon told Israeli Radio. “This has to do with the sanctions but also with the competition between American farmers and Iranian farmers, and we are trying to deal with this.”

Simchon said a recent meeting with a senior US agriculture official focused on using technology to detect the origin of pistachios. He said that would involve chemical testing to determine the climate and soil of where the nuts were grown.

In the mid 1990s US officials pressured Israel to block the import of Iranian nuts coming through EU member states and winding up in Israel.
…
California is the second largest producer of pistachios in the world, according to the former California Pistachio Coalition.

“As a proud native of the golden state (California), I think Israelis should eat American pistachios, not Iranian ones,” said Stewart Tuttle, spokesman for the US Embassy in Tel Aviv.

Scoff all you like but Iranian pistachios have been a big source of contention in the past. See the TED case study for a look at how the nut importing industry has caused previous US – Israeli rifts. One clue: the US is the second largest producer and exporter of pistachios. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to who holds the number one spot?

At the recent GA in Nashville, our duly empowered Jewlicious Agents distributed Thanksgiving postcards to all the Super-Jews in attendance. The front was a nice graphic reminding folks of our upcoming Festival (Feb. 29th, Long Beach, California!) and the back included a list of things we here at Jewlicious are thankful for. OK well, the fact is that we slapped this thing together uh… rather quickly, rushed it over by FedEx to Nashville, inadvertently sent it to a Kinkos like a zillion miles away from the Gaylord Opryland, whatever. Suffice it to say that with all the attendant craziness, the final list of stuff we were thankful for was less than a representative list. This would explain the inclusion of things like Arak Limonada and Shakshuka (ahem), as well as Slivovitz and I think Geffilte fish. What other list has both Amy Winehouse and Rambam? I don’t know… I may have been drunk. Deepthroat was definitely suffering from acute GA induced malnutrition. Rabbi Yo… well, I’m pretty sure he was sober and well fed. In a moment of clarity someone sent me this cutsie, saccharine list in my email which I clearly hardly never read:

“I’m thankful I met Estie at Jewlicious last year”
-Estie’s fiancé

“I’m thankful I learned how to choose the best kiddush wine at Jewlicious Festival.”
-Eric

“I’m thankful that my son went to Jewlicious Festival and learned how to make the beautiful challah bread we’re eating tonight.”
-Justin’s mom

“I’m thankful Jewlicious Festival is only three months from now! I’m already counting down the days.”

Happy Thanksgiving from Jewlicious

OK, kinda corny I know. Think you can do better? Go on then. Let us know what or who inspired Jewlicious thankfulness in you this year. Leave it in the comments section which will act as a Forward 50 type listing for the rest of us… and uh Happy Thanksgiving from this Israeli/Canadian/Moroccan Jew.

As if attending an Idan Raichel Project show wasn’t exciting enough — and it is, believe me — last night’s show at the Fillmore East in NYC featured a spontaneous performance by Matisyahu, who’d been hanging in the VIP section, and Y-Love, who embraced the collaboration as the monumental moment it was bound to become. I hung out with Tahli Miller (Mrs. Yahu) who was sans kids for the night. We talked about her film in progress about shomer negiah relationships, and she promised to let Jewlicious know when she had a trailer or something to share.

After the show, I spied Y-Love briefly, and he was a little breathless, as he tried to take in the convergence that was that moment, but mostly, you could tell how excited he was to have performed on such a stage.

Want a longwinded account of the concert experience? As usual, I can provide you with that.

Want footage? DJ Handler at Shemspeed posted the Kvellfest a little while ago…It’s a YouTube/JewTube world now…

Queen Elizabeth used to be my best monarch friend. She was always perfectly coiffed, dignified and elegant. Fastidiousness against adversity was always her hallmark, both as a young woman during the WWII German bombings of London and as the head of a large and complex family undergoing its fair share of travails. Of course, Queen Elizabeth was always an obvious choice for my best monarch friend – I grew up in Canada after all, where for the longest time she was the official head of state, with said head adorning most of our currency. I was always her loyal subject and she never ever disappointed me.

But things change and where once I was content with a staid and reserved monarch as a bullwark against the turmoil and uncertainty in the world, now I’m looking for one who provides guidance, one who is not afraid to crack that veneer of quiet sophistication in order to do and say what needs to be done and said.

Well, my search is over! I have a new Best Monarch Friend and he is none other than Spain’s King Juan Carlos. At last Saturday’s Ibero-American Summit in Santiago, Chile, Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez called former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, a close US ally, a fascist, adding “fascists are not human. A snake is more human.” This was an ironic accusation given Chavez’s cozying up to various dictators and also in light of his atrocious human rights record back home. Current Spanish PM Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero rose to the defense of his one-time rival, correctly noting that “[Former Prime Minister] Aznar was democratically elected by the Spanish people and was a legitimate representative of the Spanish people.” Chavez was having none of it and tried to disrupt Zapatero.

That’s when King Juan Carlos stepped up to the plate and told Chavez what’s what. He delivered a bitch slap to the Venezuelan dictator that was heard around the world when he told him to “shut up.” Chavez later tried to defend his statements, but it was too late. The video of the King’s admonition are all over the Internet, ring tones of King Juan Carlos are selling like hot cakes throughout Venezuela and Chavez was revealed as the shmendrick that he is. Kudos to the Spanish King who demonstrates that intemperate is the new regal! See the video and hear the ring tone on the BBC.