Blame it on the increase of my work hours by 40%, the gazillion apples our trees have produced this autumn or my reluctance to leave a video reply (and my, did ck beg…): rather a tad late than never, I’d like to wish everybody a good new year. Hope you’ll be able to make a few of your dreams come true, at the very least buy a few pairs of awe-inspiring shoes. (Hey, I’m female! No matter how crappy my day has been, I can open my shoe cabinet and think to myself, “Well, life sucks, but my shoes do rock.”) Keep in mind, even if not everything works out as planned, you’re still better off than six billion other people.

This apple tarte’s for my sonny for simply making my day with his very sweet and flattering appraisal a couple of weeks ago after a car got into the wrong lane and almost caused a full-frontal collision while I was riding my motorbike (would likely have left me looking like that apple tarte though none of you would really know):

From the sunset on the Pacific I wish all our readers and friends a healthy, joyous, sweet, prosperous and connected year.

Lshana tova tichateivu v tichateimu

May you be inscribed in the Book of Life, the Book of good humor, and the Book of conventional wisdom.

To all of our readers, posters and your families, have a happy, healthy, fun, prosperous, creative, delicious, and just generally good new year.

SHANA TOVA!

That’s all.

Republican or Democrat, if they voted No today, vote them out of office for their irresponsibility.

And let us all pray that we all get out of this without losing too much.

They are so smart they have outsmarted themselves.

NY Times headline: For Stocks, Worst Single-Day Drop in Two Decades

Stocks fell by nearly 9 percent on Monday — the worst single-day drop in two decades — after the government’s bailout plan, touted by its supporters as a balm for the current market stress, failed to pass the House of Representatives, setting off a fresh wave of anxious selling.

In yet another day that has shaken the embattled canyons of Wall Street, the Dow Jones industrials fell 777.68 points after it became clear that the legislation could not muster the support it needed to pass the House.

The broadest measure of the American stock market, the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index, fell 8.77 percent, its biggest drop since October 1987. The Nasdaq composite index fell by more than 9 percent, after the House defeated the bill by a vote of 228-205.

The fear was most pronounced in the world’s credit markets, considered gauges of anxiety among investors. Yields on Treasuries plummeted after the House rejected the plan, with the one-month Treasury note yielding virtually zero.

Banks were charging enormous premiums for short-term financing; the difference between the cost of a three-month loan from a bank, and a three-month loan from the government, rose to the widest point since at least 1984. Other lending rates stayed high.

On Wall Street, the drops were sharp and swift, catching many investors and stock strategists on Wall Street by surprise.

This is going to be a Rosh HaShana with plenty of prayers, by both Jews and gentiles.

Blame it on the Jews.

The House could not pass a bill to resuscitate the ailing dead credit markets, and both Dems and Republicans included a rushed schedule on account of the High Holidays, in their litany of reasons that the bill didn’t make it. That’s nice and helpful. The credit crisis has been on the horizon for over a year, and the politicians cant do a thing, and somehow, it’s because tonight is Rosh Hashanah can be partially to blame. Amazing.

As featured in Rolling Stone:

In a victory for both Canadian prog rock and awesomely clever puns, VH1 Classic will ring in Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) with “Rush Hashanah”.

VH1 Classic Rush Hashana Promo

David Abitbol, Jewlicious.com Founder, is profiled in today’s the Jerusalem Post. Sporting a Jewlicious Fest t-shirt, and a grin, Abitbol’s love of the Jewish world and his desire to help shape the Jewish world of the New Millennium, come through loud and clear. Except for some small factual info about the Festival (Rachel’ dreams she had a Hillel House in LBC, instead of a tiny cramped office at the JCC without windows) the JPost deserves a big Yashar Koach!

Back in the early days of the new millennium, the “cool Jew” movement was just warming up, thanks to ironic, self-deferential, post-traditional brands like Heeb magazine, JDub Records’s flagship recording artist Matisyahu, a big-screen release called The Hebrew Hammer and the Jewcy line of cheeky apparel. The elder generation decried the movement’s rejection of dogma, but mainstream pop culture was amplifying the buzz, and Jews in their early 20s were finding new tongue-in-cheek ways to express their cultural identity.

Smack in the middle of the generational gap was Montreal-based web designer David Abitbol. He was both excited and turned off by the trend. “At the time, in order to be a ‘cool Jew,’ ” he says, “you had to be dismissive of traditional Judaism and unduly critical of Israel.” Now an uncool 43, and enjoying an iced coffee at a downtown Jerusalem bar, David continues to nurture his concept of a Jew who is “edgy” but who has deeper knowledge and love of his or her heritage and Jewish nationalism.

Read on!

I’d like to wish all our readers, friends and enemies a sweet and happy New Year 5769. May this year bring you everything you need, may it be joyous and full of friends and family and may we be blessed to see you next year, next month next week in Jerusalem!

OK so the idea here is that you all wish each other a new year using our new video comment section. Under the comment box is a link that allows you to use your computer’s web cam to record a brief video comment. You can leave just audio or just leave a conventional text message. I just thought it would be nice to have a bunch of little clips where people wish each other a shana tova! Yes? Then go for it…

Well at least the kids will be Jewish…

Jewish actress Scarlett Johansson and actor Ryan Reynolds got secretly married on Saturday night, with Scarlett’s mother and brother attending the small ceremony at a wilderness resort near Vancouver. No Rabbi was in attendance and Woody Allan reportedly wept uncontrollably upon hearing the news.

OK, I made that last part up. But still. Oh well…

If you’re still insecure about what Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate might be better for the Jews, have I got decision-making help for you!

This is how it works: below is a list of issues that have shown to be of interest to MOTs. All you need is a printer and a pen. Print the chart (downloadable version here). There are three credits per PoI, two for the Presidential candidate, one for his respective running mate. So, according to what you think, believe, know, assume, have been indoctrinated to accept, you can cumulate or divide the credits among the teams. When you’re done, just add up the credits in each column. The team with the highest score should get your vote.

P.S.: Should you feel you don’t know enough about the candidates’ stance on a certain or all PoIs, I suggest you call or email their campaign headquarters. Bet they’ll be glad to help.

BTW, in an attempt at trying something innovative, I’ll announce the topic of the comment thread to be “autumn fashion”. All comments containing political content will be copied-&-pasted to a comment thread I’ll put up to only that distinct purpose. But then you’ll stick out as the one who didn’t play along. Your choice really. No pressure.

From Jewish Robot and Taglit Birthright

There used to be a time when watching movies was a satisfying experience, before the action flick became dominant, and actors such as Paul Newman were one of the reasons cinema – American cinema – was worth watching. He was also always a captivating figure off-screen, slowly evolving into a major philanthropist, entrepreneur and race car driver and owner. He also married a beautiful woman who is also a talented actress in her own right. As an actor, the last 30 years have yielded only a couple of gems: Nobody’s Fool, Absence of Malice and of course, the incomparable Slap Shot.

Okay, not Slap Shot. He had a few duds. But what can you expect in a career as lengthy as his?

Of course, prior to that, in his prime, Newman also had some great hits: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Hustler, Hud, The Sting, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and of course, the amazing Cool Hand Luke.

He never stopped working, never stopped racing and never stopped running his philanthropic foods company. I guess he just ran out of time and that’s too bad. I’ll miss him.

What the hell is this now?

In brief, it’s a video featuring Israelis like former Haganah Member Avraham Yakin, Ha’aretz Publisher Amos Schocken, former IDF Chief of Staff Amnon Lipkin Shahak, former Deputy Speaker of the Knesset, Meretz Party MK and my old intro to Poli-Sci professor Naomi Chazan as well as an assortment of Israelis from a tichel wearing woman, to a grocery store guy and some old Iraqi dudes in Nachlaot (Oh my God there are Sephardic Jews in Israel?) to a tatooed beach arse in Tel Aviv. Everyone loves Obama! He’ll be good to the people and he’ll be good for Israel. Yaaay!

I am so glad that I will not be voting for either Obama or McCain. I’ve been really turned off by the partisanship, the endless repetition of talking points, the showmanship and the lack of clear ideals and real values, all sacrificed at the altar of political expediency. Certainly there has been some intelligent and sincere discourse, but that’s been the exception that proves the rule.

Look, the fact is that most politicians are douchebags. Shit, even JFK was a douchebag. OK, maybe that was a bit harsh. Their daily routine is subterfuge however. Especially during the period leading up to an election. Hair’s gotta look just so, tie’s gotta be this color, voters don’t like too much hand gesticulating during a speech, etc. etc. McCain is in fact not that different from Bush. Obama has clearly altered some of his beliefs in order to be more electable. One good thing I can say has to do with the VPs. Biden was a crusty Washington insider before being chosen as Obama’s VP and he hasn’t changed since. Palin hasn’t backed away from her crazy ideas and her integrity remains intact, although they’re not really letting her talk much are they?

Some people are investing so much into this election, it’s kind of embarrassing. What are they going to do in a year or two when they realize that nothing in fact has changed. Probably blame the other side and start all over again. Oy.

Paul Newman passed away last night at age 83. He was one of the actors that even I would recognize. A pretty nice bio can be found here.

While Newman was not a matrilineal Jew, he chose to consider himself Jewish as it was “more challenging”. Our loving memories go to Paul, not only for his acting skills but for taking up that challenge. Our thoughts are with his wife and his daughters.

The last shabbat before the new year.

This is a good time to reflect on things, even if the world around us keeps charging forward.

Maybe this week was the week when the US fell from empire to nation. It’s as if we’re Britain after WWII – our time is not quite passed, but it feels as if there are younger and stronger players out there and we may not have what it takes to compete.

In Israel, the paucity of leadership is all too evident. Livni may be better than Mofaz who is a key player in the decline of the IDF over the past several years, but she isn’t special either. There is nobody special in a position to lead Israel because only the survivors get to play and surviving doesn’t involve the same skills as leading and often requires the very cynicism that undermines trust in that individual. Bonus points for Israel that a woman is once again chosen to lead.

Obama vs. McCain feels old already. Neither appears to have the full suit of capabilities and qualities to guide in such a difficult time. People are sending emails predicting/hoping that Biden will step aside and Hillary will become VP candidate. Fat chance, but a telling development.

Fall is here. The high holy days are here. Soon we’ll have dinners with family, pray for a happy and good new year, and proceed to evaluate and expunge all of our wrongs while emptying our bodies and systems. It’s a lovely idea and it works, these special 10 days, even if one doesn’t quite believe the story that God opens a little black book. It’s a good time for self evaluation and perhaps even adjustment and repair.

Shabbat shalom!

(Kinneret took this lovely photo)

Following up on CK’s post about whether kashrut is better for the environment, and just in time to wish you all a shana tova, I would like to share with you the competition our friends over at The Jew and the Carrot are hosting:

The Jew & The Carrot believes that Rosh Hashanah offers the perfect opportunity to usher health and sustainability into our year (see why here). So why celebrate with the same old greasy kugel served on plastic plates and washed down with Diet Coke?

The Green Rosh Hashanah Dinner Challenge wants YOU to inspire us by creating the greenest, most locally-inspired, and delicious Rosh Hashanah dinner ever. Whether you’re hosting 25 of your closest friends, or bringing a bit of sustainability to your hosts’ house, go ahead and let your green-flag fly. Send us a photo and description of your dinner (or dish), along with your recipes. (Extra credit for impressive food porn!)

More details & enter below the jump. (more…)

…in the feel good movie of the season:

It’s Friday. JP Morgan ate Washington Mutual, my upcoming trip to Paris is going to cost a fortune because the dollar’s in a free fall and we’re all just goofing off. I don’t even dislike Palin. Much. This video was too good not to pass around. Enjoy and have a peaceful sabbath.

An update on my trip to the NJDC meeting in Washington DC: A unique Jewish candidate who attended the meeting of the National Jewish Democratic Council meeting in Washington DC this week was Hank Eng, a Chinese Jewish American who is running for Congress from Colorado’s sixth district, east of Denver.

Eng, 60, moved to Colorado for his wife’s career about three years ago, after serving on the city council in Appleton, Wisconsin. A civil air patrol officer and pilot, he is a second generation Chinese American, and the son of a man who served the Flying Tigers in Kunming during WWII. Eng grew up in New York City, studied Engineering and management and served in the U.S. Peace Corps in Kenya and US AID in Africa and around the world. He has also worked in Russia, Pakistan and China.

Unfortunately for Eng, his district is known as an area that would vote for the Republican even if the candidate was dead. His Republican opponent, Mike Coffman, reportedly raised nearly $900,000; Eng has raised less than $50,000.

A member of conservative Jewish Congregation Rodef Shalom in southeast Denver, his daughter Kendall, recently celebrated her bat mitzvah.

That’s the question asked by an article in Scientific American. They investigated the carbon footprints of a typical Kosher diet as opposed to that of a non-Kosher diet and while their conclusions weren’t conclusive – beef has a bigger carbon footprint than pork which has a bigger carbon footprint than chicken – Shrimp has a larger carbon footprint than Salmon, but Lobster has a smaller carbon footprint than Chilean Sea Bass – the article was still informative. Using the information dug up by researchers, it would be easy to alter one’s diet, Kosher or otherwise, in order to increase consumption of food that was better for the environment. Not surprisingly, vegetarian diets have the lowest carbon footprint. Just sayin’ is all…

Hat tip to my vegan sister Tiffany

Terry, Terry Poison…

Don’t get me wrong. I like Paul McCartney. I know all the Beatles songs off by heart. But did I really want to spend an evening in the company of over fed Israeli Baby Boomers at a badly pronounced Beatles karaoke fest? The answer? No.

Instead of wallowing in the ancient history of rock and roll I decided to explore the future of it, and the future is Female Israeli Rockers. We’ve already featured Noa Margalit of The Carsitters, and you all know about Yael Naim. Last night, instead of joining the geriatric set in Tel Aviv (I had a free ticket by the way) I went to East Talpiot and saw Terry Poison perform. Here’s a badly shot video. Sorry. The song is 24 Hours and is an homage to Jack Bauer from “24″, who even from the perspective of folks from a country with loads of secret agent bad asses running around, is still quite the bad ass.

Terry Poison is:
Louise Kahn: Vocal, Guitar
Petite Meller: Vocal in French, Keyboard
Gili Saar: Back vocal, Bass and keyboard
Anna: guitar Bruno Grife: Production, Synth bass and guitar
Issar Tennebaum: Drums

They’ve been getting good press and attention since 2004 and they are adored in France. So… why aren’t we bringing these bands to the US? Do we really need another dry academic talking to us about Hasbarah and accomplishing nothing but preaching to the choir? What better and more effective Hasbarah is there to society at large than hot Israeli babes?? Seriously. If anyone from a Federation somewhere is reading this and wants to know about this and other bands from Israel that can have an impact not just with our elusive (and mega-bored) young Jews but with US music fans at large, let me know.

And no. If you hire them they will not start their set with fucking Havah Nagillah.

The other day one of our finest guests tried to tell me that the Republicans screaming and pushing for deregulation of everything under the sun is not the reason that we are witnessing the meltdown of America’s financial core, not to mention potentially even the conclusion of its economic supremacy in the world. Yes, Matilda, it is that bad.

Everybody knows that something needs to be done by the government. Everybody knows that unless some money flows soon, we are going to watch the markets freeze. Even tried and true devotees of Republican fiscal policies (as if there are any such things, we’ve watched as the Republicans have betrayed their small government/small spending mantras so severely that stunned Democrats are red-faced with jealousy) such as Paulson and Bernanke are begging Congress to do something.

Well, noises started coming out of some feisty Republicans in the past day that indicated a lack of cohesion in the Republican party’s view on this “bailout.” They gave the usual hypocritical reasons about big government and fiscal irresponsibility. Some spoke about how it’s unfair to the little people if you bail out the rich folks over in New York.

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Republicans complaining about saving the rich folks over the rest of us.

Republicans complaining about the fruit of deregulation.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaahaha.

All we can do is laugh.

So anyway, let’s all wish our economy all the best.

Why?

Because:

“We’re in a serious economic crisis,” Mr. Bush told reporters as the meeting began shortly before 4 p.m. in the Cabinet Room, adding, “My hope is we can reach an agreement very shortly.”

But once the doors closed, the smooth-talking House Republican leader, John A. Boehner of Ohio, surprised many in the room by declaring that his caucus could not support the plan to allow the government to buy distressed mortgage assets from ailing financial companies.

Mr. Boehner pressed an alternative that involved a smaller role for the government, and Mr. McCain, whose support of the deal is critical if fellow Republicans are to sign on, declined to take a stand.

The talks broke up in angry recriminations, according to accounts provided by a participant and others who were briefed on the session, and were followed by dueling news conferences and interviews rife with partisan finger-pointing.

In the Roosevelt Room after the session, the Treasury secretary, Henry M. Paulson Jr., literally bent down on one knee as he pleaded with Nancy Pelosi, the House Speaker, not to “blow it up” by withdrawing her party’s support for the package over what Ms. Pelosi derided as a Republican betrayal.

“I didn’t know you were Catholic,” Ms. Pelosi said, a wry reference to Mr. Paulson’s kneeling, according to someone who observed the exchange. She went on: “It’s not me blowing this up, it’s the Republicans.”

Mr. Paulson sighed. “I know. I know.”

That’s the Republican Treasury Secretary and one of the most successful NY bankers of his generation talking.

Oh, and Washington Mutual, one of the largest banks in the US, was forced to sell itself to JP Morgan today in order to avoid closure of the bank.

Tuesday night, the place to be was Washington DC, at the National Jewish Democratic Council’s meeting. Vice Presidential candidate Joseph Biden, Jr. and Senate candidate Al Franken were among the guests and speakers at this gathering.

Franken, a comedian, former SNL writer, radio talk show host, and Harvard lecturer, is the Democratic candidate for a U.S. Senate seat in Minnesota. It is a Senate seat that was been held by Senators Boschwitz and then Wellstone, and it is currently held by Senator Norm Coleman. With three Jews holding the seat in succession, Franken is hoping that Minnesota voters will be willing to continue the tradition of maintaining it as a Jewish seat, albeit a Democratic one. “I’ve made the argument that Minnesota is just not ready for a gentile in the Senate,” quipped Franken. Franken got more than a few laughs when he stated that his Republican Jewish rival was for school prayer, but that Franken would support school prayer only if the prayer was the Sh’ma.

Later in the evening, Biden stepped up to the podium, in his first speech to a national Jewish organization since the Democratic convention. Biden, who needed some water, said, “Never eat a handful of peanuts before a speech.” Biden reinforced the Democratic ticket’s support of Israel, as well as the bills that he and Obama has sponsored, co-sponsored, and voted on in the past, including Obama’s co-sponsorship of the Palestinian Anti-Terrorism Act of 2006, which banned U.S. assistance to the Hamas-led Palestinian Authority.

Biden told a story of how his first trip abroad was to Israel several decades ago, and how he has met the last nine Israeli Prime Ministers, beginning with Golda Meir and her then political aide, Yitzhak Rabin. “My support for Israel begins in my stomach, goes to my heart and ends up in my head.” (I was unsure whether, by “stomach,” he meant that he eats at Amsterdam Falafel in the Adams-Morgan neighborhood of NW DC)

Biden, who was in the Senate when he helped to stop AWACS sales to Saudi Arabia (but failed), added, “I promise you, I guarantee you — I guarantee you — I would not have joined Barack Obama’s ticket as Vice President if I had any doubt, even the slightest doubt, that he shares the same commitment to Israel that I share.”

Knowing that American Jews, contrary to perception, are not one issue voters, Biden listed his ticket’s proposed policies for energy, healthcare, and other domestic issues. He also discussed what he called a “pretty successful smear campaign” against Obama, which has been calling him a closet Muslim. According to a poll conducted by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press, a tenth to a fifth of American voters think Obama is a Muslim. Remarkably, this perception actually grew over the Summer in a secondary follow-up poll.

Y-Love and Diwon “Rosh Hashana” freestyle on Cable’s Jewish Channel. The result was a fast improv with Diwon on the MPC and Y-Love freestylin about the Jewish New Year.
check it out below:

The Jewish Channel interviewed Jewish celebrities ranging from Matisyahu and Y-Love to Ed Koch, plus editors at New York Magazine, Radar, and Huffington Post, as well as a bunch of up-and-coming comedians, and more.

The first two episodes — “Rosh Hashana” and “Sin & Forgiveness” are up on Cablevision Channel 291, Time Warner Cable Channel 528, and Verizon FiOS Channel 900. Click the youtube to watch episode 2. CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE EPISODES

Sarah Silverman makes me laugh. I love her. I want her to bear my children. In any case, you’ve all heard about The Great Shlep right? Young Jews from all across the US will fly down to Florida in order to convince their stupid, ignorant, addle minded Grandparents to vote for Obama. Now, despite the fact that I’ve been accused of being a Canadian/Israeli agent provocateur on behalf of the Obama campaign… is it just me or does it seem like this video makes this whole pro-Obama initiative seem kinda, I don’t know… asshole-ish? Is that even a word? You get my point though, right?

The Jewish vote for Obama according to several polls is at around 60%. Ordinarily a Democratic presidential candidate ought to enjoy about 72% support. That 12% difference has been attributed to rumors that Obama is anti-Israel (despite the fact that AIPAC no less has given him a perfect score with reference to his record on Israel), a Muslim (he’s not, and even if he was, that ought not be relevant), a supporter of the PLO etc. etc. However, this whole campaign seems premised on the notion that Bubbe and Zaiyde, without whom you’d be nothing, are total idiots. It’s kind of disrespectful frankly. And this video so clearly demonstrates the white-liberal angst, the bubble headed, substance-free optimism that are symptomatic of the most unappealing aspects of the Obama campaign.

I mean shit, you want to do something to improve race relations in America? Leave Nana alone and invite an African American over for dinner. What? The closest African American lives an hour away from you? Ahem. ‘Nuff said. This vid made me laugh. Hard. But probably for all the wrong reasons.

PS: A visit to the Grandparents is always a nice gesture. But no need to go overboard. Even if your Grandparents stipulate in their will that you won’t get any money if you marry a non-Jew, that clause has been found to be unenforceable! But shhhh… don’t tell them. And when you do visit, tell Chris to stay at home…

Uh… the banner above contains 2 beloved characters from the Shabot 6000, a goofy Rabbi and an irreverent robot. It also contains 2 characters from South Park – Mrs. Broflovski, Kyle’s Mom and the matriarch of South Park’s token Jew family, and Eric Cartman who is just so damned cool, even though he’s a Jew baiter. The fifth character in the middle is Meir Porush, who was selected by the United Torah Judaism party to run as Mayor of Jerusalem. So what is that? Why is he a cartoon character? Am I going to link to a funny viral video dealing with Jerusalem city politics? No. That’s the image Porush’s campaign has decided to plaster everywhere in Jerusalem in order to promote Porush’s candidacy.

And why not? He looks cute and warm and fuzzy. Not at all threatening! Porush who supported the decision to force prepubescent female dancers to wear what looked like burqas during their performance commemorating the opening of Jerusalem’s light rail bridge, is a good guy! For instance he’d like to reverse the trends that have seen 300,000 young Israelis abandon Jerusalem over the past 20 years for greener pastures elsewhere – better jobs, affordable rents etc. It’s not like they left Jerusalem because of the undue influence of guys that look exactly like him… and he has a Web site – http://www.porush.co.il – but don’t bother clicking on the link – with less than a month to go before the elections, the site is still under construction. It don’t matter none though. Haredim, who will form the bulk of those likely to vote for Porush, don’t usually have internet access. Well not at home anyway – but at night in Jerusalem, the Internet Cafes, especially those that offer private booths, are full of Haredim using the Internets. But I have a feeling they’re not exactly brushing up on municipal issues, if you know what I mean…

The elections will be held in November and we know Porush is running, as is city counselor and Internet entrepreneur Nir Barakat and maybe even Russian Billionaire, Angolan Diplomat, Israeli Philanthropist and subject of an INTERPOL arrest warrant Arkady Gaydamak. Lupiolanski, the current Haredi Mayor of Jerusalem may also throw his shtreimel in. Did I mention that the election is in less than a month???

Somehow cartoons seem oddly appropriate… I’m not voting for Porush because like… “Mayor Meir Porush” – how awkward is that??