Was your high school full of talkers?

Mine was. It was a small school, and we were on a first name basis with our teachers. We were used to asking questions, sharing opinions, questioning what we were learning, etc. When I got to college, it was no big deal to be part of a discussion. It wasn’t until I met a thousand other college students who hadn’t gone to my high school that I learned that most people would rather die than speak in public. Even though this fear usually refers to getting up and making a speech or delivering a presentation, it turns out lots of students don’t like to speak up in class, ask a question, whatever, for fear of looking or sounding stupid. (Lots of students are guided by fear of perhaps appearing stupid – FOPAS aka Faux Pas – but that’s a blog for another day.)

First of all, so what?

If the worst thing that happens to you in college is that you feel or appear to be stupid, consider yourself fortunate. Considering all the other options, such as not having gotten into college at all, sitting in a room with a bunch of students and a teacher feeling stupid isn’t all that bad. At least you’re there, which means someone in the admissions office thought you could handle it. So go on the faith that you’ve got at least a tiny bit of what it takes, and speak up.

Second of all, here are some strategies for becoming a participator

1. Make an appointment to talk with whomever is teaching the class. Get used to hearing your voice in the presence of others. If you’re really gutsy, ask for advice about how to join the conversation in class.
2. Talk to the one person who makes you feel the most welcomed. When you’re back in class, don’t talk to the whole class, just talk to the teacher and block everyone else out of your consciousness. It’s OK to start small.
3. Raise your hand. Remember: if you don’t understand something, it’s likely at least one other person (or possibly 15 other people) don’t understand the same thing. They will be so relieved when you raise your hand and say, “You know, this is all really fascinating, but I’m not totally getting it.” And believe it or not, in the eyes of your teacher, you will be a shining beacon of hope that not everyone in the class is hell-bent on parading their superior intellect around ad nauseum.
4. Write down your thought as a sentence and read it. It’s ok to be transparent. Say out loud to the class, “Here, this was important so I wrote it down.” And then proceed to read your sentence.

Third of all, it’s going to be just fine, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.