I arrived in Hampi two days ago with a wicked sinus infection. I'd been trying to treat it with homeopathic and aryuvedic remedies to no avail. The day before yesterday I got some anti-biotics and have been doing nothing the past two days. Hence, the radio silence. I'll probably venture out late after the heat begins to dissipate. Internet access is very slow here, so no pictures until I get to Bijapur. More soon.

As for my 'Indian Moment.' I got a bit testy with the conductor and then sulked for about twenty minutes. Basically asking myself, "what the hell am I doing here? And how the hell can anyone call this fun? I want to go home." India does that to you. But I got over it pretty quickly. The proximate cause of the outburst was I had been promised an upper berth in the sleeper compartment and didn't get one. I got a lower berth, which is basically community property, no matter if the seat-holder wants to sleep or not. Again, I re-learned the most important lesson there is to learn in India: whatever my expectations are, I should a.) plain not have expectations at all and b.) simply proceed on the assumption that everything will never be as I am told and expect the worst. That's just the way travel in India is. More soon.

One last thing: if I disappear for a few days, fret not. It's just India. Everything is difficult here. And yet, it's an amazing place. I just never know what's going to happen from day to day.

I had my first 'India Moment' last night as I was pulling out of Bangalore City Station to Hampi. Pretty much just lost it. I knew one was coming. Funny thing is, I doubt any of the Indians on the train even noticed. I mean, if they can ignore naked, blue faced sadhus walking down the streets begging they can certainly ignore a raving mad, foaming at the mouth white man. Right?

And Bangalore is a fucking pit.

Alrighty, so now I am in Bangalore, the IT capital of India. It is absolutely nothing like what Tom Friedman depicts in his book. I've taken a boat load of photos to prove it. I'm really beginning to think he flew here in a private jet, was picked up at the airport in a limo with blackened windows, taken to the Infosys and Tata facilities and then the golf courses and his 5 star hotel and then left, without ever once walking the streets of the city or having tea down on the corner.

But I promised not to obsess on him. So that's it for now.

I didn't make it out of Bangalore as I had hoped. Serendipity intervened and I'll be heading to Hampi tomorrow night at 1030. So, I'll make a day of it tomorrow and see what there is to see in the city and then head off to the ruined capital of the Vijayanagar Emperors. More soon.

Today is a travel day. I'm heading north towards Bijapur. Not sure if I will make it in one day. If not, I'll overnight in Bangalore (and try to keep my quips at Tom Friedman to a minimum) and then head out the next morning. So, I'll probably be out of pocket for 48 hours or so.

A positive mental attitude is critical to traveling in India. This time around I think I've figured that out. One thing that really helps is smiling at people. When I travel I get a lot of stares. If I wasn't as keyed in as I am, I'd assume they were hostile stares. But they aren't, they're just curious. A lot of Indians, as my friends in Calicut were fond of saying, "have never seen whites." (They also apologized profusely every time they used the word 'white.' I just laughed. It's humorous to me to hear myself described by the color of my skin. Besides, it's true, I am white. No harm, no fould.) And a smile is the best antidote to stares. Instantly the Indian who was staring at me grins widely and knocks his or her head back and forth slightly in greeting. So, I smile a lot and smiles tend to reinforce a positive mental attitude. (And no, I haven't gone all pop-psychology on you, it's just true.)

And in that spirit here are a few things I like about India. The hotels have 24 hour check out times. So, if you arrive at 4pm in the afternoon, your check out time is 4pm the next day. This is very sensible. Why don't we do this?

Also, the tea. I mean, face it: tea in India is just the best. You go to Indonesia to drink coffee and India for the tea!

Another thing I really like is that you can buy one of anything. Need a small bit of shampoo? Buy a small package for 1 rupee. Want to buy just one cigarette? No problem. Want a chappatti for the road? Just buy one. Soap? Same deal. Trial size portions of everything are available here in India. Why don't we do this? Oh yeah, 'bigger is better.'

Dal! Lentils are wonderful, especially in a good curry sauce with some chilis. Why don't we eat more lentils at home?

For some reason this time around the filth doesn't faze me. As a matter of fact, it's really become part of the background and charm of the place. I don't even notice it anymore. And I've always been pretty much a clean freak. Not obsessive-compulsive or anything, but still. And now?

The list of things I like about India could go on for a while, but I think those four are a good start. I'll add to the list as I continue to roam about the country.

One last note: I had curry for breakfast two mornings in a row. I have to say, it's not much more different than having breakfast tacos with salsa, once I figured out that the curry in the mornings is a lot lighter than that which they serve in the evenings. Needless to say, all those cultural barriers I carried with me into India are slowly being reduced to nothing and I fear how I will be perceived when I return home, all elbows, head knocking side to side, going days without a shower and I am now a skilled practitioner in the fine art of 'skybombing.' I feel real sorry for my family.

Nandi, a local Mysore cow (technically a bull) recently learned of California's 'Happy Cow' Campaign and auditions for a 'Fresh Face.' Nandi wants the part.

"Every cow here in Mysore dreams of going to Bollywood. But Hollywood? That would be being amazing," said Nandi.

"Also, I am named after great bull of India that Shiva is always riding. I am shoe-in," Nandi told The Agonist.

Asked what his qualifications were, Nandi replied: "I'm a 100% pure vegetarian cow. I am coming from India. But I am being a happy cow." The Agonist's Editor at Large, Sean Paul Kelley, conducted this once in a lifetime exclusive interview this afternoon on the streets of Mysore, India, just across from the city bus stand.

Nandi has gone on a hunger strike, as he believes all California cows should look like Pamela Anderson and the bulls should look like California's Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nandi's hunger strike, something Americans would call a diet, has taken India by storm.

But Nandi remains unfazed by all the media hype.

When asked why he wanted to be a California 'Happy Cow' Nandi told The Agonist, "I am having the right colors. Just look at me! I am being sexy! And I am having my own guru, just like all Californians and I won't be a botheration when I am there. I am fitting in to American life just well." Nandi did however, sound a note of caution. "Don't think you'll be eating me over there in America. I am not beef cow. I am sacred! I know he is not having a job any more like so many other Americans, but please tell George Bush I am bull, please don't try and milk me!"

It is unknown if Nandi was aware the contest was over or not. Agonist Editor at Large Sean Paul Kelley did not feel like asking the question, due to a previous run in with a Water-Buffalo in Indonesia.

I've tried to explain to people that the lives Jews lead in Iran aren't bad. They aren't persecuted. I've done what is humanly possible to educate people about Iran and the Jews that live there. And as a non-Jew I learned the hard way that there are things I am "not allowed" to say. Or, rather that there are things I cannot authoritatively discuss, even though I probably know more about the Jews living in Iran than most American Jews. How's that for democracy and freedom of speech?

But this? I'm really blown away the New York Times even had the balls to print this:

I’d visited the bright-eyed Sedighpoor, 61, the previous day at his dusty little shop. He’d sold me, with some reluctance, a bracelet of mother-of-pearl adorned with Persian miniatures. “The father buys, the son sells,” he muttered, before inviting me to the [synagogue] service.

Accepting, I inquired how he felt about the chants of “Death to Israel” — “Marg bar Esraeel” — that punctuate life in Iran.

“Let them say ‘Death to Israel,’ ” he said. “I’ve been in this store 43 years and never had a problem. I’ve visited my relatives in Israel, but when I see something like the attack on Gaza, I demonstrate, too, as an Iranian.”

Congratulations to Cohen for observing facts over mere words, indeed:

Still a mystery hovers over Iran’s Jews. It’s important to decide what’s more significant: the annihilationist anti-Israel ranting, the Holocaust denial and other Iranian provocations — or the fact of a Jewish community living, working and worshipping in relative tranquillity.

Perhaps I have a bias toward facts over words, but I say the reality of Iranian civility toward Jews tells us more about Iran — its sophistication and culture — than all the inflammatory rhetoric.

The bottom line is this: a non-Jew could never write something like this and get it published. And to think an American Jew had the courage to go to Iran and report on facts? Might my faith in the Times be resurrected?

Read the whole thing. It's that good.

"About 14km from Mysore the great river Kaveri divides into two branches which meet again about five kilometers further down," writes R.K. Narayan, "and these parted arms enclose a space of land known as Srirangapatnam." Narayan, in The Emerald Route, his travel-memoir of his native state of Karnataka continues, "In 894 AD, a person named Tirumalaiya built a temple for Ranganatha and called the place Sri Ranga Pura." It was at this temple where my day began.

The Sri Ranganathaswamy Temple is an old one. And it is a holy one. And the worship there remains very vibrant and alive. The temple compound was filled with hundreds of people. First I had to deposit my shoes at the front gate and then enter. Once inside I waited in the queue, on a holiday no less, which was quite an experience: I've never had old ladies elbow me amidst a crush and throng of people like this. (I've come to find out that there is a silent rule about elderly women in India: they are allowed to push to the front of the queue as much as they like.) We were all jammed into a very small space bordered by iron railings and ropes. Groups of fifty were let in frequently, but still I waited in line for at least thirty minutes. A cool breeze came from outside, so it wasn't terribly hot, that would come later, inside the temple proper.

More after the jump.

It's long, but worth a watch.

The photos I took at Srirangapatnam are now up.

I can't really say which are my favorites, I had such a good time taking them all.

I've got a post on Srirangapatnam coming tomorrow, so I'll say no more and let you have a look for yourself.

Enjoy!

Fantastic article and push back on the meme that Iran is the next big enemy. Do yourself a favor and read this. Too bad it's not from an American paper.

Here's a sample:

The pro-American demonstrations, by all reports genuine (and unpunished), took place over several days in 2003. In that spring, Mr. Khatami sent a Swiss official to Washington to make the peace offer. In exchange for recognizing Israel, cutting off Hamas and proving it had abolished any nuclear-weapons plans, Iran wanted an end to sanctions, normal diplomatic relations with the U.S. and recognition of its role in the region. So what happened?

Yeah, what did happen? Read on and find out.

And one more:

It was reported this week, based on a new IAEA report, that Iran has produced “enough low-enriched, reactor-grade uranium to make a bomb.” This, as former Los Alamos National Laboratory scientist Cheryl Rofer has carefully documented, is scientific nonsense: Yes, that uranium contains enough U-235 to make a bomb. To get it out, you would need to kick all the inspectors out of the country, reconfigure thousands of closely watched centrifuges and engage in years of enrichment.

I believe this is the kind of article JPD referred to when he said we need more mid-term thinking. This article seems to be just that, if you ask me.

If you are like me, you probably find Hindu mythology bewildering. I mean, how many gods are there? I had a discussion in Calicut and asked just this question.

Sanjiv was the first to answer, saying,"there is one, Brahman. All others are incarnations of the 'one,' or the 'absolute.' Perhaps, I thought to myself, we might say in the West, a 'singularity.'

Brahman, as I was later to discover has no attributes, for he is nirguna, or immanent (to use one of my favorite words), as opposed to the other gods of the Hindu pantheon who are saguna, with attributes.

Not to be confused with Brahman, Brahma is the creator. He only acts in the creation of the cosmos (which if I am correct, has been created and destroyed several times already). When he is not busy creating he is meditating. His wife is Saraswati, the goddess of learning and he is often depicted riding a swan. I imagine his swan and wife are both very bored most of the time, as he seems rather an absentee landlord. But, he does have four heads! And Brahma is also the first member of the Hindu Trinity, or Trimurti.

More after the jump.

I learned something useful today. Sometimes it's just easier to just to give a beggar one rupee than to wave them off four or five (and sometimes even more) times. If you give 'em one, they just go away. (Yes, I do learn somethings only very, very slowly.)

This has been an Indian public service announcement. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

I swear, there is so much to see and do that it's hard to find time to write. Action, is indeed, the enemy of reflection.

Nonetheless, I did manage to take a boatload of photos today and upload them.

I first visited the Maharaja of Mysore's palace. It was a wowser! It's a pretty damned good specimen of Indo-Saracenic architecture. I'm pleased I saw it: although they don't allow photography inside, the outside photos were pretty fantastic.

After that I visited the Deveraja Bazaar, built about 250 years ago, during the time of Tipoo Sultan. I've visited lots of bazaars before, but this one was pretty amazing when it comes to the colors. Colors of the spices, the tikka colors, the fruits and vegetables and the garland-makers, everywhere. The most interesting part of the day was watching the guy make a stick of incense by hand.

My favorite shots? Well, this one of the tikka colors is pretty nice.

And, this garland maker. And an example of the finished product, too. Another colorful example here as well.

I can't decide if I like this shot of the pigeons or this one?

The Albino Indian woman was interesting as well. I wonder what caste she is?

But the highlight really was the palace. All the photos can be found here.

Tomorrow I am off to Srirangapatnam!

And lest we not forget a bazaar kitty, for good measure.

Sadly, after trying several cobblers around town today I am afraid that it's time to admit the sandals are dead. Yes, those sandals. You know, they just don't make things the way they used to. Then again, how many countries, eight? How many miles? I admit, I did get my money's worth, more than likely in the grand scheme of things. I sure will miss 'em!

My butt is sore. I had a jarring, but fantastic bus ride today from Calicut to Mysore. I saw a nice herd of wild elephants in the Bandipur National Park, a whole host of Axis (or spotted) Deer, Sambar and tons of birds.

I'm off to the Maharaja's Palace tomorrow. Here's the Wiki entry on Mysore, in case you are wondering where I am. I'll be visiting Srirangapatnam, Somnathpur and Melkote while I am here. Then I'll probably head up to Bijapur (I'm probably going to forgo Goa, as I had a week on the beach at Mamallapuram and a week on the beach at Varkala) and then head into Mumbai to see Rajesh.

The FT is reporting today that Iran has enough uranium for a bomb! Oh dear. Except their reporting is very, very lacking in the physics and engineering department.

Here's what El Baradei recently said about Iran and the bomb:

SZ: In your report it says that Iran is gaining an ever greater mastery of uranium enrichment. Can the USA and Israel accept the fact that Iran is on the threshold of becoming a virtual nuclear power?

ELBARADEI: The question is, what can they do? What are the alternatives to direct negotiations? As long as we are monitoring their facilities, they cannot develop nuclear weapons. And they still do not have the ingredients to make a bomb overnight.

How hard is it to google this shit?

Update: As Paul Kerr, from Total WonKerr, just wrote to me in an email: "Here's the number of weapons you can make with LEU: zero." Any questions?

Update Two: Newshoggers has a good post up on this too.

Update Three: Arms Control Wonk has a good post on this and so does Cheryl Wolfer at Whirled View.

First, give this podcast a listen. As always, George Kenney at EP has an excellent interview with James K. Galbraith. It puts everything Numerian and Deninger are talking about into perspective.

This sounds like a plan to me:

1. The memo goes out in the AM to every bank in America: No more lies. If you lie, even once, your bank gets seized and you will be criminally charged personally. Period. I am particularly interested in Mr. Lewis' claims on national television (CNBC) that Bank America had a "great" January. That sounds an awful lot like Dick Fuld who said he was going to "burn the shorts" and was "well-capitalized". Oh by the way, I'd refer Mr. Fuld's statements over to Justice immediately, along with everyone else who said something similar (Bear Stearns anyone?)
2. I would then amend OTS and OCC rules: All bank examinations are public data. All examinations must either have every asset marked to the market or the full model and data inputs must be disclosed, without exception.
3. Next, I would take the stage and give every bank in America 72 hours to disclose their current Tier Capital numbers under those rules. They have 'em in the possession of their Risk Manager. Let's have it. In public. You publish it, we print it. Everyone who is under-capitalized and has been hiding it - your shares are suspended. We'll get to you.
4. For those who are under-capitalized: If you have sufficient capital in your debt to be crammed down, that's what happens. Your common equity is gone. Preferred is crammed down, if that's insufficient it is gone. Next we do subordinateds, and repeat until sufficient capital is restored. End of discussion.
5. For those who cannot be crammed down we seize you. Your deposits and good assets are auctioned off to sound institutions, spread among the physical locations of those assets and deposits so no concentration of more than 5% in one bank occurs. The rest of the assets go the FDIC and are run down or auctioned off as they deem appropriate.
6. Any bank with more than 5% of the deposit base has 12 months to reduce it to under 5%. This affects fewer than 20 institutions.
7. No bank may transact in any instrument that is (1) not a whole loan or (2) is not traded on an exchange. Period. Any such "assets" currently held must be disposed of within six months. No exceptions. I recognize that this makes banks a "utility" - entities that take deposits and make loans. So what? Its a good and profitable business, has been for hundreds of years, and forces proper underwriting since you must retain the risk.
8. Any bank that finds (7) onerous (and most will) is free to split itself into two firms, one a bank and the second a non-bank affiliate held by the parent. The affiliate may not utilize depositor capital or otherwise be cross-contaminated with bank assets and support, but is of course free to raise money via debt offerings in the marketplace such as it is. Said non-bank firm may trade in whatever it would like, however, it will not receive any government support of any kind. Cross-contamination of any sort between a regulated bank and a non-bank sub will be treated and prosecuted as bank fraud. Any existing "affiliate" bank credit lines must be extinguished within 90 days and "23A letters" are explicitly disallowed.
9. Reserve ratios are set at 8% with no exceptions.
10. Bernanke will do as the above directs without complaint or I will exercise my lawful and Constitutional authority to issue United States Notes, bypassing The Fed entirely. Ben and The Fed work under my direction, not the other way around. End of discussion.
11. Any bank that does not want TARP money may repay it immediately. If you keep it, no employee may receive total compensation exceeding that of the President of The United States, without exception and in all forms, including stock, options as valued under Black-Scholes, deferred compensation, benefits and cash. Period. You are working for us, therefore we set your salaries.

Anyone find any holes in it?

I brought six pears pairs of boxers, you know, men's underwear, undergarments, that kind of stuff, with me on the trip. The hotel has "misplaced" five pair.

What I am to do? I have this picture in my head that a whole bunch of people are frantically looking around the hotel for my misplaced boxers now.

I can't say I have ever had this happen. I really hope I get them before I check out.

Update: They were found. I knew you all would have a field day with this post. So typical. Clowns! The lot of you! ;-) As for the ladies in the You Tube Video. Here's some humor for you: I am so out of touch with African-American dialect and so in touch with the Indian one right now I could hardly understand them. I mean, they need to add some Indian spice and 'botheration' and then I could get it. I'm in deep over here! Someone help me!

Off to Mysore today, so light posting on my end.

Sanjiv, Ahamed, Kader and Nithin have been keeping me very busy. And not the 'do nothing kind of busy' I was doing in Varkala. As a matter of fact, I've been so busy I've had a hard time piecing together a story for my time here in Calicut. So, today you'll get an abbreviated version of the last few days.

First, how did I meet Sanjiv? I was unaware that Sanjiv and his wife are both long time readers--at least the last five years. That's amazing in and of itself. I mean, really, how many of you have had the same subscription to a magazine that long? Then, when I arrived in Trivandrum Sanjiv sent me a PM saying, he was visiting home (Calicut) from the US, where he lives with his wife. He said he'd love for me to visit Calicut if I had the time. "Hey," I say to myself, "why not? I have the time." Sure, Calicut is not on the tourist trail and that's not the point! the point is the journey, the accidental, serendipitous meetings of new people. And that is exactly what has happened here in Calicut.

So, we set a date and on the 17^th Sanjiv, Ahamed and Nithin met me at the train station the day before yesterday. Later the first evening we met Kader, who is Ahamed's older brother, for dinner. They are all very old friends, grew up together and their families have known each other a long time as well.

So, I hear you asking, "what have you been doing in Calicut?"

"Lots!"

More after the jump.

The Dow is at 7555.39. Is this a retest or the beginning of another leg downward? You all know how I feel, I think it's going lower. And you?

It's interesting to note that Friedman comes out with this column the day after I spent a day with two Hindus and two Muslims, who have all been best friends their entire lives. I hope to find some time to write up the conversations we had regarding Islam and Jihadis and what occurred in Mumbai late last year. Suffice it to say, Friedman has his finger on the pulse correctly in this case. Indian Muslims don't like what happened in Mumbai, are appalled by it and say so, loudly and vociferously. It's sad that Friedman has to end his column with a horrible cliche, about "how it takes a village" and all that. And be an apologist for what we did in Iraq.

Listen folks, Iraq was never the problem. The problem is what my friend Kader says is 'peace money.' That's money that comes from Saudi Arabia and the 'Gulfies' as he called them. (I'm paraphrasing what he said yesterday.) They give the money to the crazies of the ISI to basically blow shit up overseas and not at home. And his logic is borne out by the evidence. The biggest problem with salafist Islam is Saudi Arabia. Not Iran. Not Iraq. But Saudi Arabia.

It's time we faced that.

Let's examine this statement a bit more closely:

The Who will be playing on the Street of Dreams this week, and the song will be, “Won’t Get Fooled Again.” Speaking of “fooled,” over the weekend the “cry” went up that the current economy is as bad as the Great Depression. While we don’t want to sugar-coat the current environment, this is NOT the Great Depression. As our friends at GaveKal opine, “This is not the 1930’s all over again. The government and the central banks are not sitting idly by as banks fail this time around. We have automatic stabilizers in place like welfare and unemployment insurance. Back in the 30’s, GDP plunged 27%, real private investment collapsed 87%, consumer spending contracted by 41%, industrial production plunged 54%, personal income fell 25%, the unemployment rate soared to 30%, and half the nation’s homeowners defaulted (not 10%), and 10,000 banks failed; and as over-saturated as we may be today, we don’t have that degree of excess capacity in the financial sector.”

The Government and the Central Bank aren't sitting idly by, that is true. But what they are doing is practically everything they can do to rescue the fools who got us into this mess. And in my opinion, trying to save the banks the way they have been going about it will only postpone the day of reckoning. And when that day comes we will have bank failures.

I don't have the numbers on private investment figures, but I can tell you this: cap-ex has been falling for the last few years and I imagine it will increase its rate of fall this year and next. To what number? I can't say. Personal income hasn't done a damn thing in the last eight years. And it will fall this year. To what number, I can't say, but I can say it will be higher than most people now think and it will be lower than the doomsayers predict. The unemployment rate is already in the double digits, as measured by U6. We all know this. But the government and people like Saut, continue to pretend that it isn't. It will go higher. I still think the government's cooked number will be higher than 10% before this is over. As for defaults? I think defaults may approach 30% at some point. And what happens when people roll over on the credit card bills? As for excess capacity in the financial sector? I want what Saut is smoking. Really, I mean, Citi will have to be ripped apart or bailed out or both. Lehman? Gone. Bear Stearns? Gone. Saut is just flat out wrong here. There is massive overcapacity in the financial sector and the 'creative destruction' is only going to get worse.

It won't be another "Great Depression." But the dreaded "D" word will be used before this is all over.

I'll have a post up in a while, but in the meantime, I've posted about two dozen new photos from my trip into the Western Ghats today and yesterday's awesome sunset on the beach here in Calicut. Sanjiv, Nithan, Kader, Ahamed and I had a great time.

Highlights: the Magpie Robin and the Red-Whiskered Bulbul.

One monkey picking another's butt.

Drinking fresh coconut milk!

A mahogany forest.

And of course, a Calicut Kitty.

More soon.