This past year, millions of television watchers around the world tuned in to the World Cup so they could listen to the melodious music of the vuvuzelas.

The vuvuzela is a plastic horn invented in ancient times by Africans who apparently had access to plastic but not to a flutophone, because the instrument can blow only one horrible note. (The word "vuvuzela" is difficult to translate but means something similar to, "The elephant shares news of his digestive problems.")

With all the horn-blowing going on at the World Cup, it seemed only natural for a soccer match to break out, and before long teams from all over were on the field telling each other: "What...