7 lies people tell new dads
New parenthood is always a fraught time - especially if you listen to all the advice you're getting. Tom Wright, how just became a daddy for the first time, has this advice to pass along. Got some of your own? Add it below.
There’s something about becoming a parent for the first time that brings out the worst in people. Everybody has a bit of advice, the most prevalent one being that “Your life will never be the same”, usually said in that scary hollow intonation reserved for horror movies. What they really mean to convey is, “Your life is over.”
What’s with the bad attitude? As a new dad I’ve already discovered that initiation into parenthood is hard at times, but it’s also fun and rewarding, and the process for getting pregnant wasn't all that bad either. The advice the helpful people give fathers has its own particular man-tinge. So let me address the favourite topics of the naysayers, in order.
Nappies:
They say: You'll be elbow deep in awfulness all the time
In reality: First couple were tricky but after that not a problem. Just watch out for the wild spray.
Money worries:
They say: You'll never go out again.
In reality: You do need to sort your finances out, getting on top of debt is a good idea but your child does not need a brand new everything. Ebay will be your new best friend.
Estate cars:
They say: The sports car (or dreams of sports cars) must go and you'll be driving around in a vehicle akin to a Challenger tank
In reality: Most new estate cars I have seen look pretty slick. You can always get another crack at the sports car during the mid life crisis.
Teenager tantrums:
They say: Just wait until they are teenagers
In reality: I'm prepared to admit it will be difficult but let's deal with curfew-breaking, vandalism and all-night raves until they’re out of nappies.
Sleep deprivation:
They say: you won't get a lie-in until the 2030s
In reality: Not as bad as I thought, plus as a new parent you are excused the odd time falling asleep mid-sentence.
End of social life:
They say: No more going out, ever
In reality: If you're worried how a child might affect your clubbing lifestyle, you might need adjust your priorities (as well as reevaluate that cringingly young wardrobe - nobody wants to see "Dad" dancing). If you still have the urge throw shapes on the dance floor, recruit a good babysitter and don't worry what the kids are laughing about.
No more beer:
They say: Of course you'll have to give up the ale
In reality: Since my daughter has arrived the alcohol intake has dropped but that's a good thing. I still enjoy the odd beer, if I can stay awake that long.
So if you've just been told you're going to be a dad, ignore people making fatherhood seem like the worst job in the world, run this list through your head: smiles, laughs, awesome developmental advances, games, rediscovering toys and children's books. - Tom Wright