Publisher
IN MASSA
TOBER 2–VEMBER 1
1
MY TROUBLE ITS BEGINNING
TOBER 2
MY NAME BE ICE CREAM FIFTEEN STAR. MY BROTHER BE DRIVER Eighteen Star, and my ghost brother Mo-Jacques Five Star, dead when I myself was only six years old. Still my heart is rain for him, my brother dead of posies little.
My mother and my grands and my great-grands been Sengle pure. Our people be a tarry night sort, and we skinny and long. My brother Driver climb a tree with only hands, because our bones so light, our muscles fortey strong. We flee like a dragonfly over water, we fight like ten guns, and we be bell to see. Other children go deranged and unpredictable for our love.
We Sengles be a wandering sort. We never grown nothing from anything, never had no tato patch nor cornfield. Be thieves, and brave to hunt. A Sengle hungry even when he eat, even when he rich, he still want to grab and rob, he hungry for something he ain’t never seen nor thought of. We was so proud, we was ridiculous as wild animals, but we was bell and strong.
In my greats’ time, we come up from Chespea Water; was living peaceful by Two Towns until the neckface murderers come. Then we flee onward to these Massa woods. Here we thieve well. We live as long as Lowells—sometimes twenty years or twenty-one years. Every Sengle have a knife, and we together possess two guns. Driver got a gun that shoot, and Crow Sixteen a broken shotgun, still is good for scaring.
This day my story start, we been out scratching in the evacs. These evacs be house after house that face each other in twin lines. Houses shambledown and rotten; ya, the road between is broken through with pushing weeds. Get fifty houses in a street, and twenty streets in one hour’s walking. When these houses all was full, it been more people here than squirrels. Ain’t nobody living now.
Loot here be older, but is rich. We find every kind of thing—pharmacies, can food, clothes. Find cigarettes, be old with mushroom taste, but still can smoke. What I love most—can of Beef-a-roni. I eat that cold. I eat Beef-a-roni any way. The person invented Beef-a-roni, that person was a valuable genius.
This raid, it been Jermaine Fourteen, Asha Badmouth Fifteen and my brother Driver Eighteen, who been Sengle sergeant then. Ya, my favorite little, Keepers Eight, been there on scouting task. We come out with two horses, my own finicky spotten pony Money and Big Smoke who pull a sledge.
Ya, this been a feary day, because we find a sleeper house. Been two sleepers there, they lain together in a bed. One been grown, one eightish size. Both gone with years to stain and bones. Skeletons mix their ribs, their ghosty hair caught in one tangle.
In houses with these dead, we take no loot. It be unlucky wealth. Nor is good taboo to leave the house. Must rid it with clean fire.
Driver, Jermaine and Asha Badmouth gone to set the fire, while I keep hunting through the houses round with scrambly Keepers Eight. We scout the flooden cellars barefoot, then scratch upward through each room, until we meet the broken roof its sunlight. Then the nextdoor house.
This be grimy task. Ain’t matter how perfect anything look in a closet. When you take it up, dust fly. Hurt vicious in your eyes. Times, be flittering moths, look like they born from dust that instant. But the clothes, they often still all right.
That day, ain’t scarcely nothing worth the carry. Food is rotten, cloth be mold, books crumble like dry earth. Ain’t no metal but is rust. Keepers frustrate well, go swearing like a mally baby. Child be feroce to want, will rob the laces from a digger’s shoe. But this evac street be poory gone. We scratch out five houses, then slop tired in a raggity bed, upstairs of this cold house with scarce no windows. We waiting on the fire across the street to catch correct. Then we can go out staring, warm our face.
The only loot we find:
• 5 cans soup, 2 cans corn, 1 can condense milk, clean and bone. Other cans been rusten useless.
• 1 box allergic pharmacy, 1 Robitussin coughing drink.
• big coat for Asha Badmouth when her pregnant belly grow, ain’t prettieuse for nothing but it smell right.
• 1 bottle whiskey, 1 bottle gin. Other bottles unseal and the booze gone stank.
• these sleepers’ evac notice.
• a plastic baby, sort with arms and legs that you can turn. The painten eyes so worn, it make your eyes feel scary. Look the way dust in your eyes can feel.
A plastic baby be bad luck. The little children say it mean somebody going to die. Truth, littles always be inventing superstitions. One little say it, they all go believe and tell it onward. Sometimes, I think the digger gods was starting from a little’s maginations. They got a man inside the clouds that punish you if you is lazy.
Dribble talk from ungrown heads. However that be, now my Keepers frighten.
On her neck, she wear the lastic string left from a candy necklace. Now, in fretting nerves, she wind the lastic round her pointer finger. Watch the fingertip swell bright, is like she strangle her own fear. Other hand got a cigarette. She been smoking this, and shake the ash on her own head. Be ash all in her bushy hair, for she believe ash kill nits. Keepers never had nits. This be proof to her it work.
And Keepers such a warry dirty cub, she hurt my heart. I ain’t know what other children feel, but I swear I feel more. See my Keepers frighten, and it feel like swallowing ice. Yo, the child so vally proud, it hurt her arrogance if I pet her, if I touch her any way. She sit on the scurfy bed and look her miseries, I going to want to pat her head. But cannot pat no proud eight’s head.
Ya, beliefs be catching. Soon my nerves go jittery self. Somebody going to die—yo sho, somebody always going to die. Ain’t been a year that I remember when nobody die. Only Keepers too little to die, every child I love too needful, and my Sengle people be too few.
Damn you, Keeps,
I say. This person can be dying anywhere. Can be some Mass Army dying. More of them that die is wonderful.
Nay, it got to be somebody I know. I find the baby.
Yo sho. Maybe it be Mouse.
She startle, and look up joyeuse and warry-eyed. But, thought by thought, she quit believing.
I ain’t never be so lucky.
Keepers gripe her mouth. Bet you Mouse gone find a baby. He want me to die right now. He want me to die sick.
Now we smell the kindling fire across the street, a hoarsen sweetness.
I say, You going to stop with that now, foolish.
Ain’t no fool, I knowing right.
You act like Keepers Two, sometimes.
I ain’t. I act like Keepers Twelve.
Keepers Noisy, all it is.
You hate Mouse. Say you hate him and say I ain’t going to die. Somebody old like you die.
Damn, quit that,
I say. Or next time Asha Badmouth stay with you.
Keepers make a fart noise with her lips and swear again. I turn and grab the evac notice. Start to read it loud, try to distract her into reading practice. But she only shut her eyes and yell the evac notice words. Remember almost all. Then we both go laughing, yelling. Rival to say this faster-louder. Every Sengle know a notice of evacuation well.
When we finish, Keepers quit her screaming and pronounce, Then sleepers gone evacuating and they go to Europe.
Certain, gone to Europe.
But where this Europe be?
she say. You never seeing Europe.
Shoo, is farther distance, cross the ocean.
Keepers frown in littlish scorn. She put the plastic baby on the floor, she done with dying. Dying finish now. You ain’t know. I bet nobody cross the ocean never. Ain’t no Europe.
Shoo, is Europe. Seen no maps?
They pictures. Ain’t no Europe real.
Bone, it ain’t no Europe. Sleepers all be hiding in the woods. They coming now, be angry how we robbing all their soup.
They sleepers wanting us to have their soup. They leave it here. Nor it be no Europe. You lying and you ignorant and I be Keepers Twelve.
TRUTH, THIS EUROPE MOSTLY be a tale for pacifying littles. Most older children think the sleepers all be dead, but ain’t no proof. If sleepers gone to Europe or to hell, they leave the same bad silence.
What we knowing certain of them be a shorter list. We know their looks from pictures left on walls, from paper magazines. They had straight hair like fur. This grown in any different colors—yellow, orange, black and white. Skin was pinkish mostly, like a plastic baby or a roo. Some faces wrinkle up and baggy. Some lost most their hair. How Lowells say, this be from years—these sleepers living old as parrots.
Yo, be seldom pictures where the children looking normal brown, with person hair instead of fur. What we think, these been our greater parents in the Times Before. Ain’t sleepers but is children right.
We know the sleepers fled from sickness, a killing fever callen WAKS, some eighty years before. We know their goods, we guess some facts of their abandon life. But their evacuation be a rumor of a mystery.
Most we can learn be from the evac notices themself. These notices all the same, is only numbers and the street names different. They say exactly this:
NOTICE OF EVACUATION
This is a final notice. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health has ordered the evacuation of your street on MONDAY MARCH 15TH. A luxury air-conditioned bus is scheduled to stop at 1 SLEIGH ROAD at 3 P.M., MONDAY MARCH 15TH to transport residents to temporary shelter. Your temporary shelter is RAMADA INN, WESTFORD, MA. Residents should not drive cars to the temporary shelter. An allowance of two pieces of luggage per household will be strictly observed. Each piece of luggage must be no more than 70 pounds. Both pieces together must be no more than 120 pounds. Additional luggage cannot be accommodated on buses and will be left at the roadside.
Medical checks will be required before passengers are invited to board. Residents suffering from WAKS will not be allowed to board the buses. This is for passenger safety. WAKS sufferers and their families should report to the Department of Public Health at (617) 256-2412 for further information. Abuse of a medical inspector, verbal or physical, will be punished with no less than 30 days in prison and a fine of up to $5,000.
Emergency Coordinator for Middlesex County,
Victor Espinoza
We got no knowledge of this WAKS, the sickness that destroy them. Been eighty years of quietness. No memory reach that fact. Some children think that WAKS be posies, but nobody know. Dead sleepers left so long, they got no skin to see no posies on. That body tell you nothing but, You frighten like a digger, child. You shivering and weak to look at me.
And no one like to find a house with sleepers dead inside. Be a sleeper there, we burn the house with all its goods. Is glorieuse always when the house consume to fluffy ash and sticks, it make you happy in your eyes. The orange windows flaming out. Then it fall to its knees. Trees shivering around it, gladden with its crazy heat. And after, all be blackish fine. Inside a year, is growing flowers. Make you proud to be a Sengle, cleaner of the sicken world.
SO NOW WE WATCH THE FIRE BEGIN, me and Keepers Eight Fofana, standing at our upstair window. The burning house stand kitter-corner to ours, in easy view, and Driver and Jermaine and Asha Badmouth come out, done with kindling. They stand watching by a pile of water bags and soaken blankets, kept in case the fire escape. Truth, no fire will spread this day. Is soggy wet from morning rain. Still Driver make each hold a bag and blanket. So be drill.
House begin to look a little itchy, before the firelight come. As the flickering raise, it show clear in the bust-out windows. Is like it be a life we woke inside. Then the roof go staining black and fire squeeze through the stain. Fire make a hole and flames push through the roof like angry hair.
The flame and sky two different kinds of bright. Sun look tame and sleepy while this fire go left and right so huge. It make us big and bright with nerves, although we Sengles, kin to burning. Keepers settle staring to the fire, her mouth agape.
Then Driver look back and catch sight of us. He startle disapproving. Next, he stalking back toward our house, with angry face.
Keepers look to me. I say, Yo, Driver going to give me talk.
Heed him, sure,
say Keepers. Got to be obedient.
Like you be.
Ain’t be obedience, town go fall apart.
You wise as something. Ain’t know if it be dirt or wood.
Keepers make a fart noise and she grin.
I say, You wise as dirty feet.
Then Driver there behind us in the open door. He nod me out, and I come peevish, sorry-tail. We go on down the hall, cause Driver guard his business from the littles. Everything a dignity for him.
Only been a year my brother Driver be the oldest. He sergeant in our wolfen time, when Sengles thieving rich. Girls all go in love for him. Hounds and ponies fear and trust him. Driver give four babies that I know, and three of them is living. And he got a liking strength, is like a big warm house that you can punch and kick on, and it never shake. It standing there despite you, knowing what it known before.
Now he easy kept, although he come to rule me down. I gone glooming at the carpet. Carpet mostly bone and clean. Is only a wedge of shadow by the window, made of mold. Mold show where it raining in. Everything smell green from that, and moody like my thought.
My brother say, Must be responsible, Ice. Ain’t like to see you dabbit round with Keepers like a small.
These poory houses, ain’t find garbage here or nothing. Ain’t about responsible.
Driver never heed a foolish saying. You speak a foolishness, he act like this be forest noise that ain’t concern him. So he say, as if I never spoken, If you ain’t work, no little think to work. You be third oldest.
Ain’t third. Crow be third.
He skew his eyes at me. You counting Villa, babyish? Villa senseless as a moth.
I count in numbers, it be three before me. You and Crow and Villa. Make me fourth.
Driver get his seriose eyes. I look away and spot the bathroom only then. Ain’t notice this before, nor Keepers notice. Can see two towels there, is hung and perfect. Mostly Sengles got some towels, but these towels hard to keep. Every winter some of them get mold and cannot clean. Be towels in that bathroom, maybe there be soap and Robitussin, anything.
I only rile worse then. Ain’t justice that Driver right.
He saying, You gone heedless something. Hothead round the place. Be fifteen years and got no plan for babies.
I do what being true to me. I ain’t do nothing cause of something false.
You ain’t do nothing cause you lazy.
Ain’t getting babies with no Crow or no Jermaine.
Ice Cream!
my brother say, and his eyes fury. Then he halt and everything too still. I hear the fire like snoring sleep.
And Driver cough. Cough hard and look surprise. He put his fingers to his chest, then he lift away his fingers, checking at the fingertips like he expect to see blood there. As if blood going to leak out through his skin. Sure, nothing be.
But I see clear, that cough hurt. And Driver gulp and suffer not to cough again. He frown his nerves.
Driver, you bone,
I say in sudden fright. The smoke do that.
Sure.
But Driver cough again, and catch his chest the same.
Ain’t got to breathe no smoke, goddamn.
Been no smoke. Nor ain’t your problems.
Sure, it ain’t my cough. Damn me for caring. Going to stop from caring.
Nothing be to care about, Ice Cream,
say Driver shortish. Care about your lazy self.
Then he turn and go downstairs and I be standing shaky.
Ain’t nothing happen, but I know. Driver gone eighteen and mostly children live to eighteen-nineteen. Then they get their posy sickness. He look at me with knowledge in his eyes, he let me spy his feary knowledge.
I want to go downstairs and fight him worse. My brother got no need to tell me who third oldest, second oldest. Driver staying oldest. I tell him in my mind, You cannot die. I die before you die. Crow be sergeant if you die. Crow be a poison well and maggot, what he do to Sengle town you fear. My brother, keep with me.
THEN KEEPERS MOUTHY YELL MY NAME. I got to go tend Keepers, who ain’t got no brother nor a sister. Who grown in loneliness feroce, without no brother’s loss to feel. Ain’t fear nothing worse than her own death.
In the room, my Keepers got a chair up to the window. She standing on this chair, and hold my oak bat in her hands. Aim upon a square of glass left in this window’s upward corner. Going to bust that glass,
she say.
Yo sho, you seen it first,
I say, and my throat haze with uncry tears. Make war on it, go on.
You ain’t want to?
Sure I want to. Only said, you seen it first.
Keepers twitch her freckle nose. She see how I ain’t care about no glass. And she throw the bat down on the floor. It make a bigger noise than I expect, a sounding blammer. Noise make me startle weak. My heart keep saying, Nay, my Driver cannot die, and then my mind remember it can be true. The loud noise seem like all the things on Earth that ain’t care if you frighten.
I say in careful voice, Ya, better you ain’t break that. You get glass on you. That glass can hurt.
You got to stand with me,
say Keepers. You keep going somewhere and then I ain’t know.
So I get up on the chair and stand. Keepers lean back to my warm. Fire carry on, it going to go an hour now. The house’s upper part look darker as the roof fall into scraps.
Driver walk across the street to Asha Badmouth. He put his hand upon her baby belly and she push his hand away. This happen in the bottom of my vision, but I watch the fire. I get a watching trance upon me. Keepers gaping by.
All children glad to watch a fire. It help you feel the things you need to feel, like drinking whiskey do. So now I slip toward my grief and watch a finicky flame around a window. It move like restless water there, blue and gold and white. I feel my trouble, but I think of NewKing Mamadou, the boy I dream upon. Think how he kill me with his knife someday. And I feel crying like a painful coldness in my jaw. But I ain’t cry.
Then the burning house’s door flap open, staggering wild. Smoke come hazy out, and from the smoke, a person run.
I yell and Keepers yell. I terrify senseless for my Driver, every fear flash white in me. But Driver, Asha Badmouth and Jermaine stood screaming just like us. It ain’t our people in the fire.
Be a stranger boy. At first he looking like a shadow, black against the fire’s bright. Then he come out whole and running strong. He the only one ain’t scream.
Ain’t no fire on him when he come out, but Asha Badmouth frighten. Splash him wild. He startle, skid and fall. Then Driver tackle him. My brother never wonder if a person be a risk. He warry and particular, will stop that person first.
He wrestle with the frighten boy until he get a throat-lock on. For a breath, is quiet. Only fire still rush and snap. Then Driver shout, the boy gone kick again.
Keepers swear and say to me, Ice Cream, it be a sleeper. Ain’t in Europe.
What?
I try to hear what Driver say. What ain’t?
Sleepers ain’t in Europe.
The boy twist, and I see him clear. I breathe cold into me. The head got yellow furrish hair. The boy got plastic baby skin, he be a yellow roo. Driver holding on a roo. Now panic grab my breath.
I run downstairs before I think. Somewhere Keepers shout at me, all high and frighten, till I shut the door upon her voice. Outside the day stripe hot and cold from fire.
2
OF ROOS BEFORE
I BE THE ONLY LIVING SENGLE EVER SEEN A ROO. THEY AIN’T TROUBLE Massa woods for years until this day. Only jones children, of thirteen and more, still known their fear.
It been a month before, by Tember when the summer still prolong. This night, I gone sleeping at the library, alone except my mare and hound. I like to be alone from Sengles, and I like to take my pony and my hound indoors. Be sweet in separateness to feel their faith. Driver give me talk about this habit—he say I be unmanageable since I got a horse. This saying true, but he ain’t recognize that I be better so.
The library a prettieuse and cleanish edifice. Been a place for books in sleeper times, but now the books is gone. We scratch them all to sell to Lowell in my mama’s time. Got one upstairy room at that library, it be round. This round room be my favorite joy.
My Money stubborn for no stairs. She want to stop, she clamp her hoof. But if you switch her, she will trot up fast and sudden like a going-upstairs horse that only bred for this. Room stink remarkable from her, but with the windows open, still can breathe without unhappiness. Yo, my hound ABC eat most her shee, in cleaning help.
Below the library window be a road, is mostly gone to bush. Become a shaggy meadow with bald patches where the street remain. Across this meadow road be Friendly’s, which say FRIENDLY’S on one sign, and FRIENDLY’S ICE CREAM on the other. This been a store for trading food. But I ain’t like to be called Friendly’s anything. I know it ain’t myself the sleepers meant, but it just feel disgusting. Then I remember ice cream been a food I never taste. I wonder what my mama dream to name me for this food, as if she name me Something Lost.
This Tember morning that I seen the roos, I woken early. Smoke my waking cigarette by the library window, looking out, and piney breeze come in to touch my face and brighten on my eyes. A sycamore grow close. Between its fingery leaves, can spy the Friendly store in bits. ABC stand by to whine. She think my cigarette be food. Ain’t never learn, she watch it going to my mouth.
Yo, into the meadow road below, a doe-deer walk. She snuff the bushes, in a worrying way like deer will do. I watch her, wish I got my bow. Ain’t guess I make my mark from here, but always be some lucky hope.
Then come a cracking loudness. It come again, it be like ripping, or woodpecker pecking hard, but twenty times as big. In the field, that doe rise up and buck lopside. Then she curling over and I see the beast shot through and through. Got blood more than hide.
And a boy jog into that bushy waste.
Then fear walk over me. I feel black water in my head from fear. He be a roo. Got brown furry hair upon his face and throat. He wear a roo suit—gray-green dapple thing, ain’t satisfy to be one ugly color, it be ugly twice. Creature mostly twice my size. And his skin whitish like a no-luck sky.
Then some dozen roos with furren face and ugly suit come out and gather in that road.
My heart flee, scrabbling in my chest. ABC take breath to bark and I catch at her muzzle quick. Tug her nose down, press my finger to her brow. Her boogly eyes stare at me. I shake my head, but she still strain her mouth. So I keep her snout fast while I spy the roos go swarming, through that sycamore I watch.
Roos got cattish hair that never curl. All be males—or else their girls be square and bearden like a male. Children say they grow to seven foot, is bigger than no person. Yo, all roos wear the same. Ain’t even deer got the exact fur that each other got. Roos all got one clothing, same as Beef-a-roni do.
They run in packs and hunt our people. In my foaly years, it been three children took from Massa woods. Ya, once a Lowell child found dead with gunshots. That been roo work. They slavers, maybe—or they eating children, how the Christings say. Nobody know. So roos coming for some mally years. Nobody know from where, they come from air and going into nowhere. All we know of roos, they take our children and the children ain’t come back.
I stand and watch the roos. Be extra dozens now, they swarming to the bleeding deer. Then they go past in twos and threes. Is like a creek that gather round a boulder, then it slipping on.
Each one got a gun that is a rifle, long and black. One roo taken off his jacket, wear his rifle at his skin. Ain’t got fur below his neck, despite what children say. Ya, they roos be talking, though I cannot hear particular words. All wear packs behind. A few be smoking like a person. And it inkle in my mind, the roos be roaming scratchers also. And I see that they be bell and vally in their shaggy sort.
Then I spy the blackish children come, the stolen. I count seventeen. Ain’t bound, they walking free, but got no rifles. Be naked helpless with these jumbo roos. Then I fury with my pity in the hot palms of my hands.
Children ain’t be Sengles, or I going to war for them, against a hundred roos or more. But these stolen children all be strangers to my eyes. Nor they look scary none, they got no blood nor blemish on their face. They walking leggy, strong. One be drinking Pabst, or can be water in a Pabst can. A roo talk one blackish child, and that child laugh. Yo, the child be mostly tall as roos, is only skinnier made. Calm my mally nerves to see, the roos ain’t seven foot for nothing. Is tallish, but still person size.
In this, the roos gone took the deer apart, and wrap the meat and insides. Flowing roos just like an ugly dapple river, wash that unluck deer away. And they pass along and vanish. Is only scattern guts and hoofs remaining from that deer, and red confusions in the flatten grass.
THEY ROOS AIN’T SEEN AGAIN. A week behind, we keeping close to town, then we forget them mostly. Is only times I hear a stranger noise and hold with breathless nerves. Will only be a blackbird landing clumsy—but I magine hundred roos behind the hiding trees. Then our familiar woods look like a dream. Look like the safety you remember, sweet particular, as you fall into grandy death.
3
OF TOBER 2, PROLONGING
NOW I BE RUNNING TO THIS ROO, THE DAY OF DRIVER’S COUGH. Evac door slam loud behind, and I run out where Driver strifing on the yellow boy. I catch and hold one stride away, beside Jermaine and Asha who be balking. No one want to be in Driver’s trouble. My brother proud, ain’t thank your help.
This roo so grandy, look like Driver wrestle with a pony. But Driver got an arm about his neck and strangle well. Roo reaching with his mouth to breathe and cannot. He seem to grow and grow, straining, then he slacken weak. Driver saying, Kick at me, I cut your goddamn throat. Lie quiet!
Then Driver let up and the roo gust air, but he look beat and tame. He muttern words that ain’t words. All his voice ill-shapen, rough. When he raise his arm, my Driver choke his voice again. Roo hush and gasp his breath.
Lying so, the boy be eerie. Got a face ill-shapen as his voice, flat like an owl’s. Feary bluish eyes, and the color in his skin only starting to be born. Be like worm skin. But he thinking in his eyes. His arms and legs be like a person’s. Nor he wearing rooish clothes. Is jeans and shirt like any.
In this quiet pause, Jermaine say nerviose to me, Ice Cream, you bone? Ain’t find no strangers?
I look where Keepers smoking in the window. I yell up, Be any living sleepers there with you?
Then I got to laugh cause Keepers vanish from the window, can hear her feet come pounding down the stairs. I tell Jermaine, You watch, Keepers sure ain’t frighten. You go ask.
My voice be high and scary and my laughter also.
Going to frighten,
say Jermaine, surprise. Then he catch my meaning, and he laugh. Ya, Keepers proud as hatred, sure.
Keepers scramble out and yell, You got to kill it, Driver! It a roo!
Jermaine and me laugh wild. Jermaine tell Keeps, You violent, small! You fearing me!
Then Driver say, his voice all booming nervy from the fight, Ice Cream? This a roo?
When Driver look at me, the roo look also. He cannot turn his feary yellow head, but his eyes turn. You know then all they children look at me.
Ice Cream,
Driver say again, a roo?
How it is, I got no cause nor sense to help that boy. But his eyes be living. Eyes mean something at me, and I feel that Driver kill a roo. It be the only person he can kill.
Ain’t so like,
I say. Can be some other thing. Some alien thing.
I fix the roo’s weird eyes with mine, expecting he be thankful. But they eyes watch back unknowing. Comprehend no word.
Driver tell the roo, Be easy, child.
He loosen up his arm.
The roo jolt free and run. Run like a frighten person run from enemies. We all roar surprise. Roo sprint and cross the road in one thin second, running like an arrow. Keepers calling, Kill it! Chase it!
Then Driver pull his gun and fire. A string of grass and wet fly up.
Jermaine and Asha Badmouth swear. And in the broken road the roo crouch, balling down, and turn to face us. A gun look from his hands. The gun look back at Driver’s face.
I go screaming Nay!
and swearing. Then I run to catch that roo, I run all dreamy-legged and tired. Hold my empty hands up, and they feeling naked, frighten. Like if he shoot them, it hurt more than anything.
I keep between my brother and the gun the best I can. I be too feary to think of anyone but Driver. I ain’t think at all.
The roo look at me first. I get his gun on me, and something happen in his dazy eyes. I think, You see me. Kill me if you hungry for a death.
The roo shout, jerk the gun. I slow to walking and I walk to him and he be flinching bad. He die to stop me. Ya, he closer, bigger, as I walk. He stand up to his feet, and he be grandy like a bear. The gun will take my hands in pieces. The gun will take my head apart.
I close the gun nose in my hand and all my children scream and call. I pull the gun nose down. Aim to my heart, my gut. The earth. My fingers gentle and I say, Let go, let go. Ain’t going to kill me, fool.
The feary roo be staring at my face. I notice I be crying. Crying for us all who got to die. And when the fire so huge, the sky so huge, and we be minnow small and loving. So I feel. The metal simple in my hand.
The roo let go the gun. Jermaine run up, and Driver run up, and they grab the roo away. We shouting back and forth, I ain’t know what we shout. Next, my noisy Keepers punching at my legs and skree, You moron! You ain’t get you kilt! You goddamn moron shee!
I laugh, eyes nervy on the roo, as Driver and Jermaine begin to tie him. He ain’t resist, is soft bekept—like the pistol been his final strength I taken from his hands. Ya, his queery eyes keep to myself.
They bind him, then they lash him to the sledge. Keepers lose her fear and climb upon him, ride home on his chest. I be on Money, Driver sat behind. He hold me to himself protecting, his big arm about my waist, and I ain’t push him loose. I ain’t desire to. Big Smoke in front is prancy from the nerves of everyone.
This be how I take my pistol, first of any guns I own. This be how my Pasha Roo come into Sengle town.
4
OF CROW MY ANIMOSE
RIDING HOME, WE TRACE ROAD 27 THROUGH THE OLDER WOODS. This be an hour at a walk, and ain’t no trotting on they broken roads. Be only holes and humps. Horse walk akimbo like a drunk.
Is dusking, and the birch trunks glamour white like paths of moon. A birch leaf yellowing here and there, for autumn now begin to start. Maple crowns patch red and orange, and Road 27 sprinklen somewhere with these color leaves. Be houses on this stretch, but all got ruin roofs, insides gone rotten. Telephone poles still leaning in their rows, but all the wire been scavenge. Heren there a blackness show where we been burn a sleeper house. Some already gone to aspen, some be starting meadow flowers.
Where we turn off 27, stand a sleeper sign, bright orange metal with black letters: BLIND CAUTION CHILD. Behind it be Blind Caution Pond. This night, the frogs all creaking loud. Where there be frogs, is twenty times mosquitoes, and the night gone chill. We dabbit here to put on jackets.
My jacket’s sort be Patagonia. This word stitch upon its chest. Be light, but unroll to a greedy size. Can wear two shirts beneath. Now I got my pistol in my jeans, nose chilling underneath the belt against my skin. When I tighten Patagonia’s string, gun poke my belly. Then I feel the gunfire that there was, and how this gun been pointing at my face.
When I turn to look, the roo lie still as sleep. He bound upon the sledge from foot to neck, with rope and orange cord. Only be his fingers loose. But his ghost eyes look and blink. He be cold color like a gun. A feary birchen child.
Keepers been riding queenish on him. When we start, she perching backward on his chest, watch to his face. She guard our safety so. But Keepers quick to bore. Soon she climbing up and down; stand on his thighs precarious. Roo, he got no choice but to endure. So Keepers warm to him in sympathy.
Now she get a blanket, tuck it round the roo against mosquitoes. But this blanket wet for killing flames. The roo begin to shiver.
Roo suffer,
Keepers notice.
Asha Badmouth saying to Driver, Been some blind child drowning in the pond. Become a caution to the others, ya. Blind caution child.
This sign ain’t make no sense,
say Driver. Mean nothing, be like writing on a shirt.
Jermaine go whistle in disgust. Foo, you said that last time. Told you then why it be wrong.
Driver cough, but keep on talking. Sure I say it twice, and it be true both times.
Be foolish every hundred times,
say Asha.
Keepers shout, My roo be suffering!
Everybody look. The roo lie in his ropes and shiver. Ain’t look so grandy, lain like that. But his face got a spookery. Bluish eyes look like they knowing thoughts a child ain’t made to hold. I get a shivering fear myself. Driver tense behind me.
Ain’t necessary he a roo,
I say. Can be a sleeper or nobody know what.
Keepers frown her dignity at me. This one alive, ain’t sleeping. And cannot call it sleeper. This give children fear.
Children name of Keepers,
say Jermaine.
I say polite, He need a jacket, ya.
Yo sho,
say Keepers, and polite me back, this be a kindness for myself and for my roo.
I laugh. Be Keepers’ roo, nobody touch this roo without permissions.
I unzip Patagonia. All my skin dislike this notion, but I throw it to delighting Keepers. She pull the sogging blanket off the roo, and all his body ease. Is like the shiver strip from him. Then the jacket make his face go kind.
This be the moment that he speak, his birchen eyes on me. The word so simple everyone must hear. He say it clear. Spaseep.
We all frighten then, as if this talking been a weapon. Driver close his arms about me hard. I breathe against his strength.
Only Keepers ain’t concern. She shake her moppy head. Nay, you must say, ‘Be thanks,’ my roo. Or must say, ‘Be gratty.’
You ain’t know what his blablabla mean, small,
say Asha Badmouth. He saying, ‘I go kill you, I go eat your head with sauce.’
My roo be thanking,
Keepers say, contain and lofty. In his words, this be spaseep.
Driver laugh. Then everybody laugh, and Keepers shout, I got a keeping roo! My roo can speak! My roo go eat up Mouse’s head with sauce!
We all giggling breathless. Horses shift and snort confusing. Asha Badmouth laughing in her warry melody; the girl can sing her voice into a valley of space. Ya, is always breathlessness in dusking woods somehow. Is everything insane and starry fine.
As the laughter ease, my Driver got me in a pinching grip. I buck my head against his chin. He laugh and loose me, swat my head. I want to laugh again, but all my laughter gone somehow. Be only conscience, how our laughter small in all this night. Gun chilling at my skin.
Then Driver take his jacket off for me. We wrestle some, but I allow the gift. Will not insult his care. When Money pick up walking, I got his Carhartt on, can feel his warm still in the cloth.
Our path go by and time walk with us. Soon the light become all moon. Yo, this been an hour to ride, and Driver only cough but once. I hold this in my mind. Mind make a fist on it. Some time, I think on my ghost brother, Mo-Jacques Five. When our mother Shasta die, I had him to my keeping—scrambly piglet with a mouth like Keepers. He been the brother of my arms. A small child die of posies quick, ain’t ugliness nor hardly pain. Yet now tears swim down my face. Feel like they fill with moonlight, feel like they be sadness color.
Where the aspens done, is open night. The farming fields of Christing Tophet show in squares of different dark. Their home and barn got sleepy looks. Windows wave a reddish light that mean a fire lit, and wisty smoke come from their chimney. Sky be full with coldness, and this smoke go warm into its heart. Ya, John of Christ, their husband, be standing on the porch to greet whoever come, as Christing husbands do at dawn and sunset. These times be callen guesting bells. But we ain’t turn down their road.
Then Sengle town begin to smell between the trees. It be a sweetish stank, as comfortable as my own farting, or as Money’s farting. Smell puey in a friendly way, my town.
Sengles be unmannerly with trash, ain’t civilize on this. Got cans and apple cores and papers, mix with leaf and piney needles, everycolor on the ground. Though we dig privy pits at distance, be some littles fear to use them. Stray off paths near town, you put your foot in something you regret.
As we come into this townie smell, I loose the reins. Money pick her feet up, trotting glad. The path go sleek and clear, and soon can smell a campfire through the pue. Because it be no noise, can know the littles gone to nighting camp. Ain’t nothing waiting but the stank and dark and Crow Sixteen.
Crow be stood with my hound ABC beside the fire. Fire is banken low. Its minnow flames go crack and smoke. Crow eating Nillas from a box. My ABC be munching one herself and got some lain between her paws. They two look sleepish in the shallow light.
Crow an uggety child, all froggen mouth with scarce no chin. Yo, his eyes be prettieuse, black-sweet and lashy. Face look like his heart, sly and wrong-made. But my ABC love Crow, and he keep kind to her. When she been a puppy, Crow and I been animoses. Friends be close as grass and clover; animoses close as grass and green. So been our truth. We eaten every breakfast from one bowl. We set our snares together. Both was warry children: my bones rung with Crow’s beating and his skin been always sore from me. We slept in one hammock, tangle-fashion, loose as cats.
Then he gone doing sex with Mari’s Ghost. Mari get an enfant from this, when she been only twelve and Crow fourteen. Then Crow ain’t speak to me no more. I set my snares alone.
Ain’t no bitter like an animose is lost. What Driver say, it ain’t no love like hate. Be days, I crave to look at Crow to hate his boogly face. I never want to murder Crow, for once he die, my hatred left alone like me.
Now Crow be fire-blind a minute, while my ABC come run to me, then wheel back to her Nillas—Crow standing, squinting at the roo. We all dismount but Asha Badmouth. Be a fine relief to come down to the sparking warm.
Keepers curlen on the sledge still. Got a cigarette lit. She smoke and give it to the roo to suck. Roo smoking glad. His winter-color eyes look round at everything: the fire, Crow, trash.
Now Crow swear quiet. He say, First I thought you fetch some Army back, but this.
His uggety head be tense. Then a strain come over all.
Keepers say, It be a roo or sleeper. Found it in a sleeper house.
Sleepers dead. Yo, why you bring it here?
Crow grin, except the grin be angry.
Can be living sleepers,
I say sharp. Be science that they know.
You bring this here,
say Crow, and half his face be grinning teeth. Ain’t want no roos nor sleepers. Going to eat it?
Keepers suck her cigarette, and speak a blast of smoke: My roo go eat your head with sauce. Crow head with crow sauce.
Then Driver step toward the fire, and everybody ease. Yo, soon as Driver speak, it be like no one spoke before. We heed. He talk to Crow in quiet friendship, tell about the fire and roo. Crow nodding like a thoughtful horse; he love my brother yet, despite his ruin heart. Only when Driver telling how I take the gun, Crow look at me and his black prettieuse eyes go wide.
Then Driver talking on, but Crow ain’t listen. And when my Driver finish, Crow say vicious, Expect the girls will save a handsome male. Yo, Ice Cream got eyes for this.
Inside my stomach and my head, my hatred scratch. Crow look at me, Crow look away. My animose, he know my evil, but forgot my good. My skin be hot and thin with being known.
Keepers say, This roo be mine. Ice Cream be here nor there.
Then Driver laugh the most of all. Jermaine and Asha Badmouth hoot and call to me, while Keepers looking strict. She keep one hand upon the roo his shoulder. Shake her head while every person laughing through her pride. Roo look far-off with frosten eyes and grief on his pale mouth.
When people quiet, Crow look to my belt. I like to see the gun.
I give the gun like Sengle give to Sengle. Give for asking. Driver there, it never worry me what happen next. Crow take my pistol. Lay her blackish nose across his palm.
Crow’s evils be: vain, blame others, liar, make plans, ain’t worry if somebody hurt. Give Mari’s Ghost a baby when she only twelve, she hurt each morning of her life from this. Crow never care for Mari’s Ghost, he ruin her without no heart. Crow’s good I ain’t recall, his good be doubt and mist. One day Crow brought a trout and say, Fish got a diamond in his gut.
I ain’t believe him, so he throw the trout back in Blind Caution Pond. We watch for it to float up, but it never come. His good be like that diamond lost.
Now my mood fall in with Crow’s. The jolie gun lie to his palm, warm from my belly. His fingers curl to grip it and his other hand slide out the magazine. That sliding click, delicieuse exact. He free a bullet, hold it to the firelight. Crow and I smile. (Crow a locken door in winter, Crow a poison well. Crow lost. I call him in my mind: Crow Ruin.) Behind me, Driver cough.
I say whispern, Be one prettieuse gun. Ain’t try yet if she shoot. What you believing, Crow?
Then be silence. ABC look to my face and wag, but Crow ain’t look at me. He narrow on that bullet. Then his fingers shut on it and his eyes go to Driver.
You be oldest,
Crow say.
Driver say, Is truth. And so?
Oldest choose his weapon.
I be oldest, got a gun already.
Driver give his nod to me.
Second oldest be myself,
Crow say. My gun ain’t working.
Villa second oldest,
I say. She deserve this gun. She shoot your legs and drag you to her hammock, greedy.
Jermaine and Asha Badmouth laugh hard. Villa live for males and nothing else. She cannot hunt her foot if someone tie it down. Cannot hunt a roasten fish.
Crow say, Driver favoring his sister, all it is. Gun should be mine.
Jermaine say, Damn, you wasn’t there.
Villa need that pistol, Crow,
say Asha Badmouth, laughing yet. She hunt your meat, be sure.
I give the gun to Ice Cream,
Driver say. Can finish with this talk.
Then the fire dip and darken. The forest seem to grow and lean toward us, angry dark. ABC make noise inside her throat.
Crow slip the bullet back into the magazine. He fit the magazine into the gun. All looking at the gun, and Crow say, Driver choose to bring a roo back to the town. Choose to give a gun to little sister.
He say this with sucking anger. ABC shy from his voice. Crow shy himself and look at ABC with nerves.
Then he turn sharp, and aim the pistol toward the roo. Keepers squeak and duck. Then pride hold her still. Feary Keepers strain her body away, but make herself stay on the sledge.
The roo go shut his eyes. If he frighten, it ain’t show. Likely, he been frighten all this time.
Driver say, You shoot a stranger who be bound and cannot move. What you being then? You be how vally then?
Crow’s hand ease from its aim. Driver standing quiet, though I see him swallow. He say, Crow, give that gun to Ice Cream. Ice Cream, Jermaine, you tie the horses. Can leave the roo tonight. I be at nighting camp.
His voice be angerless and tired. Then he leave, my brother pass to darkness in the farther trees. Nobody else hear, but I hear him cough a minute down the path. I hear him coughing hard.
Crow reach the gun to me. I take it careless. When our fingers touch, I look at Crow’s face. Someday I look at Driver’s face, when Driver been already dead. Everybody lost.
And Crow turn away and follow Driver down the nighting path. I slip the pistol in my belt.
Ain’t go to nighting camp without my roo,
Keepers say with pleasure.
Asha Badmouth say, Myself, ain’t go without Big Smoke. Ain’t walking on my feet.
This be different cases,
Keepers say. I love my roo.
Asha scoff her breath. He loving you, I guess?
I say, Cannot take no roo to nighting camp. He go escape and eat us all.
With crow sauce,
say Asha Badmouth.
I fetch us hammocks,
say Jermaine. We sleep here and keep the fire.
Then Keepers joying in her eyes. She say in happy voice, "Spaseep, Jermaine. Mean ‘gratty’ in their rooish."
OUR NIGHTING CAMP be kept a minute’s hike from town, clear from its trash unpleasantry. Summer grown thin then, so we strung hammocks in the reddish maples back of Christing Tophet. Hammock high enough, mosquito never think to go. Brook nearby, and everything the pure reverse of town. Is wild and tall with star bellesse.
But this night, is comfort sleeping in our townie stank. All person smells be warm somehow, surround you with their unwant life. Yo, is Money by in friendship, and my ABC. Even the roo seem kinder in my fear, now Crow dislike him.
Jermaine bring back four hammocks, but we only using three. Keepers nest up on the roo, where he be on the sledge. Yo, she start to speak roo language. Any word he speak, she parrot. Then me-Jermaine go parrot after, we all rooing to the stars. Spaseep. Ott vyazee mnya. Bolna, syo takee. But soon the roo gone silent, he look starward with his birchen eyes. Keepers curl against his ribs. His grandy hand be held in Keepers’ hands and they be snug as twins.
5
MY PARLEY TO THE CHRISTINGS
NO CHILD EVER KNOW A TIME BE HAPPINESS UNTIL IT GONE. TIME Pasha come, when we still raiding in the Massa woods, I swore to worry. Yet this been before the Nat Mass Armies took no Massa child. Driver bell and vally still, he rule and never weaken. We live wolfen through our wars.
This morning when my trouble wake, Driver send me out to beg a housing for the roo. His judgment be, this perilous beast ain’t safe to keep with Sengles. Must go where there be walls to keep him. Ya, the Christings own a cellar built for prisoning. Kept Armies there, in murder wars that been. So this morning I leave my Jermaine to watch the roo. Ride to see the digger folk at Christing Tophet house.
BEFORE THE MURDER WARS, it been ten Christing homes in Massa woods. These people mostly fleeing north, whoever can survive. Now only Tophet stay. Ya, in time before and time remaining, Christings live the same. House got one husband ruling it, with any-number wives and every enfant that they breed. And all believe a god who live in two sticks. Each Christing wear around their neck a string with two sticks crossing—and truth, is healthy people. Can think, this god do something, they live fatter than no Sengle child.
They growing corn and tato and got apple trees and milking cows. They can make cheese, and Sengles bring them venison to smoke for winter. We catch them parrots also—Christings partial well to these. Parrots through the Massa woods caw Repent ye of your sins
and Jesus save.
Yo, Christings gave me Angry Bitch Cub, my Vermonter Stalking Hound, when she was a puppy and I been a puppy child of nine. Anyone give me ABC, that person treasure in my mind. I going to go and love the Christings then, and never stop.
I ride out by whisker morning. Worries be my company; about the roos, about my brother’s cough. But most, I fix my mind upon my ask. Can know without no questions, Christings want no housen roo. So is problems, how I trick them to this unwant gift. It be a sort of mischief I accomplish any times, and soon my Sengle heart be brightening, grin its wolfen lies.
Then Tophet’s edifice and barn show whitish in their pastures. Red cows look up with one feeble mind. I canter Money at the lower fence. She jump it easy as a cat, and all they cows come bumble to her. She put head up pickety. Act like cows be itchy, and go trot sideways away. Then John of Christ call from the step, where he got cider on the table in a glassen brock.
John of Christ a kindly man, and slow with pleasant life. Child keep thirteen Christwives dutied to his single love. These wives the same that chosen John, is how all Christings choosing husbands. Wives pray three days to Jesus for advice, then vote a male. Ain’t know what Jesus say, but every husband of Christ be cake for eyes—is catly-faced and tallish bell. But Jesus never care for brains. A Christwife told me once, John telligent enough to hear advice, and they ain’t need no more. I never met the person who cannot like John.
I dismount and tie my Money up, go climb their cleanish steps. Always I get shame for Sengle pigliness when I come here. Be no showing litter. House smell only of new food. All be painten white as white, and this the story’s end.
John say, Greeting in His word.
His word enduring,
I polite him. Then I nod at that glass brock. Somebody told you I be bound here? Sure you ain’t pour cider mornings for your only self.
You my second visit.
John get face like bad reminders.
A moment, I get curiosities, what this visitor been. Must be awful persons, if it giving John unhappiness. But I fix back to my need. I come with parley to you, brother. Thinking, is business you can like.
Be gratty heard,
John say, distracting still. Christ’s welcome to our home.
He pour my cider tall and lead me to their sofa room.
SOFA ROOM BE WHERE the Christing enfants spend their day. So it be enfants round your neck and grubbing on your leg, their fingers worming in your pockets. At Tophet, I known all these littles since they was a fatly belly.
This day Boy Japhet tend them. He be a seriose twelve with Tophet’s copper skin and cow respect. Now he running desperate among the scarum enfants. Unpick their fights, tell disapprovals, answer screamen questions. When I come in, he line them up and make them say Peace on you, sister.
Then they fall to strife again, and Japhet chase behind.
John call to the kitchen wives, require a guesting meal. Sit me to a fatty sofa, and he start in slow politeness, asking on my hunts. But all my conscience heeding to the kitchen, guess which wife will come. Can hope it be their kindly Hannah, or Jane Moron, slow to argue. Worst be Beanie, who dislike all Sengles and all asks.
Yo, when Susannah step into the room, I discourage well. This girl be the crown of wives. Got plum lips and thinking eyes, is never stepping wrong. She born the May that I been born myself, we be moon kin. Both love salty more than sweet. We both is handy quick. Been occasion, in our twelvish years, we riding cows together. Do races, and we talk into the dusking hours, like friends.
But she the smarter brains of Tophet. Try no trickeries, she name them to your face with easy laugh.
She bring a plate of apple fritters. Sit by me, and littles gather round her knees for food. Then all must thank the two-stick god before we eat. The thanking go, God be great and God be good, and we thank Him for our food.
I know this saying well, and say it firm. Ain’t loss in good respect.
Then I say, These apples vally fine. Sure, your god bless all they trees with luck.
Susannah leave this flattery heedless. Nod straight to my belt and say, "You wearing
