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As a photojournalist, I have led a rather fearless life, covering uprisings, civil wars and famines. This was something else.
While in Dubai with my husband and son in 2007, I discovered — taking a shower one day — an immovable lump in my breast. I had passed my annual mammogram the year before, so this came as a shock. I did not tell my husband or my family until our return from the Middle East. A biopsy revealed an extremely aggressive type of cancer. I found that I was not as afraid of dying as I was of not being there for my son Sebastian as he grew up.
(an anonymous tourist) Alex, Sebastian and Andrew on a boat in Dubai in August 2007. “I had already found a hard, immovable lump in my breast but had not yet told my family.”
On Sebastian’s seventh birthday, in October, I underwent a lumpectomy, followed by four months of intensive chemotherapy and then radiation treatment. As a photojournalist, I had seen so many people suffer. Now it was my turn.
When I lost my hair, Sebastian gathered the curls from the floor and put them in an envelope to keep. It broke my heart.
He picked up my camera and started making pictures, as he has been doing since he was not much older than two and could barely hold it. Photography comes naturally to Sebastian. His eye captured his own feelings in the midst of a terrifying situation. I have used my camera to deal with pain in the lives of myself and others, and so could he.
Since my cancer was a family project, my stepfather, my husband, my medical technicians and I all took turns with the camera.
Cancer puts everything into perspective. It makes life’s annoyances smaller, and life’s pleasures more intense. It can also increase one’s sense of determination. While going through treatment, I became an author. Sitting in the chemotherapy chair, the tube filling me with poison, or in my cozy bed at home, I wrote and edited much of my recent National Geographic book, “Windows of the Soul: My Journeys in the Muslim World.”
I have been cancer-free since completing radiation therapy in June 2008, but when the temperature starts to drop and leaves fall, as they are now, I am reminded of that frightening time. In tribute to National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and those struggling with breast cancer, I wanted to share a few pictures from those months.
Pictures of the Day: Wednesday, Sept. 30
Pictures of the Day: Thursday, Oct. 1
From 1 to 25 of 34 Comments
you are very beautiful and courageuos,.congratulations!! !
would you like to be in touch with raphy and Jackie
raphy an oncologist and immunology at Columbia mostly
in research
and Jackie a breast cancer research with extraordinary
oncologist clinic
Much love REnate jrc3@columbia.edu
what courage and amazing fortitude we all feel ln you
Raphael is in oncology and Jackie Bromberg a doctor in Breastcancer – a wonderful woman email
— renate clynesAs a stage IIIa breast cancer survivor since 2004, I have been to hell and back again, the journey was too long and too painful, but worth the immense effort. I have three children so I am grateful for every minute that I have to be a part of their lives. And since a subsequent divorce, I am on a journey to discover who I am aside from a wife and mother. I am glad that more people are opening their lives to the camera and the pen, letting others know that one can survive great difficulties and continue to enjoy life. I wish you well Alexandra, and may you continue to enjoy your husband and your son and your grandchildren to come…. Thank you for sharing your outer and inner beauty.
— Jan M.You’ve always had a wonderful perspective of life. You are an inspiration.
— JB DiederichThat was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. My mother’s had benign tumors and some others in my wife’s family are suffering or have suffered cancer. But no one would allow me to take photos.
— Eric MesaHow courageous of you Alexandra! and how brilliant to make this a family affair! The photography is so personal and therefore insightful. Well well done. Godspeed.
— JDSAlexandra I loved the photos that your son took of you. You show compassion for him and a deep understanding of his fear. Thanks you for your article and the photographs. I hope that you will be healthy. BM
— Barbara M.An amazing set of pictures.
I recommended the Lens blog to my photography students this morning (in the UK) and one of the girls was very interested in the story. A lot to look at and talk about today. Thanks.
— Mark Cotterthis is beautiful
— Mirastories like this give people the strength to live.
bravo
— johnAlexandra,
— Tracy SwanThank you for sharing your experience through words and –most powerfully– the amazing photographs taken by you and your family. You have handled an incredibly scary situation with courage, grace, honesty and class. I wish you a long, happy and healthy life.
Tracy Swan
I think your article and story is incredibly real and encouraging. Having watched my wife handle her own experience with Breast Cancer over the past 8 years, very similiar to yours, she too has been able to help others by sharing her private struggles honestly . It is obvious that you have been able to recognize “the gift” all of us who are survivors(i am one as well) are given, to raise others awareness and to inspire hope. My wife has turned her “Crisis into Opportunity” like you have by becoming a Wellness Coach helping others “get through to the other side.” Congratualtions and best of health always!! Fondly, Steve M.
— Stevebeautiful photos, thank you for sharing them
wish you and your family all the best and continued recovery
— mom“Sitting in the chemotherapy chair, the tube filling me with poison, or in my cozy bed at home”
I so wish you hadn’t used the word “poison” in connection with chemotherapy . . . the chemo drugs are medicine. I am grateful they are available to fight this disease and I was grateful for every chemo and radiation session that I was given.
— PeggyVery moving. Thank you.
— Sherri O.Alexandra,
I am very moved by the photos, and by your willingness to share them with us. It was a very special way to include your son in your treatment journey.
As a fellow breast cancer patient, I am heartened by how lovely you look in the mosr recent photo. I write about my experiences in my blog, and it has been very cathartic for me.: http://trurogirl.blogspot.com
Sending warm wishes for your health and happiness -
Jane
— TrurogirlAlex,
— Sabrina VourvouliasYou are every bit as stunning and remarkable now as you were at SLC.
Thank you for sharing your story and your photos.
As a psychooncologist I would like to congratulate you for your impressive testimony both visual and written. May us, members of FEFOC -www.cancermama.org-a private non profit Foundation mainly devoted to breast cancer introduce these pictures during our next big public meeting to be held on December 11th in Barcelona, Spain?
I think they will be very positive and instructive for the women wirh breast cancer in the meeting.
Congratulations again and many thanks.
Best regards
Tania Estapé, FEFOC
— Estapé, TaniaAlex,
— Susan AurinkoOnce again, I am proud and honored to know you.
I knew nothing of this until just now – and I was already in awe of you and your bravery – now I am just speechless!
Thank you for sharing this with so many people to whom it will surely give courage.
Hugs,
Susan
Sounds like things are going well. Pls. be vigilant, remember breast cancer isn’t considered cured til you have been disease free for 20 years.
Please don’t forget our sisters with Metastatic Breast Cancer. Metastatic Cancer is incurable, but it can be controlled for a long time. For women with MBC, treatment is forever.
— Zola DexAlexandra – thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I’m sure it is giving hope and courage to many who are going through a similar ordeal. You son is very brave to deal with this head-on, and he has the intuition to use the camera as his own way of handing this complex issue.
It is inspiring also to know you are well on your way to being healed.
You are beautiful inside and out.
I look forward to seeing you again soon,
Julie.
— JulieExtraordinary article and pictures.
I’m a 19 yr. survivor of breast cancer.
I wish you the best of luck!
— MarianneSounds like things are going well. Pls. be vigilant, remember breast cancer isn’t considered cured til you have been disease free for 20 years.
— CCPlease don’t forget our sisters with Metastatic Breast Cancer. Metastatic Cancer is incurable, but it can be controlled for a long time. For women with MBC, treatment is forever.
Beautiful Alexandria! Thank you so much for sharing. I too found a lump in my breast in July. By the end of August this year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Everything happened so fast from there. I too wanted to document via pictures and blogs. I very much wanted one last “before” shot before they removed my left breast, and my new haircut. Alas, everything happened so fast, that it was too much stress to make that happen. I had a modified radical left mastectomy on Sept. 15, along with an axillary lymph node dissection, and my port placement at the same time. I start chemo on the 12th. My husband has been taking pictures ever since for me, though not as beautiful as yours. I want to never forget how fragile life is, and to be able to help make the walk easier for someone else down the road. This shall too pass, and make me stronger then I was before. Thank you for doing this for yourself, and all other survivors. Thank you for your aid in my inspiration to continue sharing myself for others!
— Charmine McKinleyThe timing of your cancer and mine match exactly: diagnosis in 10/07 and radiation completed in June of ‘08. So we are both two years cancer-free (if it is o.k. to count from diagnosis) . I arranged for a hair cutting party after my first chemo and had friends and family shear everything off before it fell out. I wanted to be proactive.
— Millie McFarlandThank you so much for sharing.
Congratulations. It will be a year since my last chemo the day after my 50th birthday on November 4th. I love your curls. My hair is also very curly now. I don’t complain as I know what it is like to be without. I had a photographer take pictures of me nude prior to my double mastectomy. I was also bald from the chemo. They are hard to look at but I’m glad I did it.
— JD