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The old days: "You voted for whom? Not me! Okay, let's have lunch." Today: "You voted for whom? You scum! Get away from me!"
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All those pesky new episodes start Monday. But don't worry; we'll be back to reruns next June.
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I've gone completely vegan. Feeling great! Had only organic cheese on my burger tonight.
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Tragic natural disasters and the holiday weekend have reduced the political noise to merely shrill.
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Time to eliminate triggering words like industrious, diligent & conscientious. They stigmatize those who choose not to be.
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Giving a good-luck spin in Warsaw with my friends on "Kolo Fortuny." It goes on the air in Poland next Sunday. Give away lots of zlotys!pic.twitter.com/tfwT2eg6Kh
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Looking forward to my upcoming visit to Indigenous Peoples, Ohio.
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Statue of baby-eater in city square in Bern, Switzerland. When we're through toppling ours, let's go get him!pic.twitter.com/EWPxijPPMF
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Accidentally left graham crackers, marshmallows & chocolate in sun. Melted together. Pretty good, actually. Call it Choco-Mallo-Grahams.
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I'm now in the third stage of life. First: youth. Second: middle age. Third: "Gee, you look great!"
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Been staring at the sun all day. Nothing. What a disappointment! Plus my eyes really hurt.
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Big news for coming season: all rounds will feature free-range puzzles. Also, statues of previous hosts will be toppled.
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Had a wonderful time with incredibly talented (and nimble) cast of "The Play that Goes Wrong." Thanks for the laughs!
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Turns out boneless chicken wings aren't wings; just cut-up pieces of white meat. And so the world continues to crumble.
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Always happy to share my pitching expertise.
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As a Twitter user, what best describes your overall emotional state?
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I like cheese. I wear a size 40 regular suit. I can hold my breath for a long time.
#TheLeastInterestingManInTheWorldThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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