Eight socially-distanced ways to tell people you are vegan
SATIRE: Due to quarantine, vegans like myself have been finding it exceedingly difficult to adhere to the culture that comes with our lifestyle: being stuck inside makes it nearly impossible to tell everyone that we are vegan. It tears me apart inside to think about the fact that my new neighbor Randy won’t know that I’m vegan for another few months. My friends call me every day, asking me if I am still vegan, because I haven’t mentioned it in a while. However, I have done some thinking to see whether this issue can be overcome, and I have hit upon a list of solutions. Here are nine socially-distanced ways to obnoxiously tell everyone that you are vegan.