Ramblings of the Disoriented Mind

I felt disadvantaged while reading or reviewing this book. I started reading it as a Marwa Rakha fan. A fan that had never seen her tv shows, heard her on the radio or read her articles. Yet a fan nevertheless. A fan of the human being, of the persona.

When you start out with that mindset you end up with two possible results, either unrealistically high expectations of the book which render you disappointed (see my take on A Thousand Splendid Suns) or unable to find fault with it, liking it by default.

Reading the book felt like watching a mini-documentary. The images of your life that flash before your eyes when you think your life might be ending. I did not get caught up in the individual stories/articles; rather was more touched by the progression. This woman whom I admire greatly, I read as she transformed into the woman she is today. I read as Marwa Rakha grew, evolved, overcame challenges, fell in and out of love, vented, learned, had her heart broken and herself broke some hearts and egos.

The book is a collection of stories/articles about herself and about the dating scene in Cairo. Think of it as a Cairene’s version of the Sex in the City episodes; up to the inclusion of a Mr. Big (if you’re a fan you’ll love the book). Marwa Rakha bravely (some might argue foolishly) tackled issues such as independence, moving out, relationships, her take on Egyptian men & the Egyptian society, sex, porn and horizontal relationships (I think she invented the term, but it works ).

My heart went out to her as she talked about her relationship with her parents which at times she symbolized in the most beautiful of ways, I love the little story about her pet butterfly. At other times her cynicism left me smiling and laughing despite the underlying frustration of her disappointment in those men time and time again.

Her english is pristine and highly artistic as she utilizes metaphors, literary references and derivations. Whilst admitting that the Silence of the Lambs story freaked me out a bit, yet I found her musical chairs references, duck theory and rules of being a good girl entertaining.

For 210 pages I enjoyed the ride, the possibly fictional possibly auto-biographical hurt yet recovering woman’s take on love and life in Cairo. Then for 5 pages, she broke my heart. The book might have been light reading… and I’m one who never cares for book endings… yet she got to me. I felt like calling up the woman who has been nothing short of sensationally supportive and offering some support from this end. Only it is implied in these pages that she doesn’t need it, isn’t expecting it, that she is strong enough to persevere and that she will be fine. I seriously hope so.

Ummm, I think my elementary school tennis coach said it best:

Inji dear, you’ve got no follow through!

Rest assured you’ve lit a fire under me!

This morning, a delightful young lady, whom I think the world of, told me she “looks up to me”. I’ve been in an odd state of Zen since. I blushed hysterically and went weak at the knees. I had no coherent reply for her kind words.

Yet this very incident reminded me of one not too long ago, where I had looked up to someone. I had gotten the nerve to write about it at the time and e-mail it to her. I’ve dug it up to share with you.

يزعجها ميلي الفطري لتوجيه حديثي إليها باللغة الإنجليزية رغم معرفتها بإجادتي للغة العربية، قد يكون هذا ظناَ منها أني ألجأ للحديث معها باللغة لإنجليزية من قبيل التفاخر أو التعالي، أو سعياً مني لإيجاد أرض غير محايدة يكون لدي بها ميزة تنافسية. يا ليتها تعلم ما أبعد ذلك عن الحقيقة، آه لو تعلم أن سيل الكلمات الذي يقابلها ليس سوى تنفيس عن القلق الذي أشعر به، هروب إلى وضع أشعر فيه بالراحة، رجوع إلى اللغة التي أستخدمها دون تفكير حتى وإن لم تكن اللغة الأم.

وكيف لا أشعر بالرهبة في وجودها! هذا هو الشيء الذي يصعب علي إدراكه وتقبله، فإنني في العادي من أكثر الأفراد الذين أعرفهم غروراً وإعتزازاً بالذات، لكني في وجودها أفقد أي ثقة وأي قدرة على التركيز، ويصبح همي الشاغل أن أنال رضاها، أن أرتقي إلى المستوى الذي تتوقعه وأللا أقل عنه، أن أبهرها إذا جاز التعبير. كل هذا لجلال شأنها وتعظيم قدرها في عيني. وجودها ذاته يشعرني بضآلتي، يذكرني بكم أمامي من أشواط لأقطعها، بكم يجب علي أن أنضج.

أتذكر آخر مرة شعرت بهذا الشعور، كان منذ عامين في الجلسة الختامية لمؤتمر الإقتصاد العالمي بشرم الشيخ، كانت فخامتها الملكة رانيا ملكة الأردن تتحدث، لم أنبهر في حياتي كما انبهرت يومها، حديثها، طلتها، الكاريزما التي تشعها والتي شعر بها جميع الموجودين. أخشى أن بقولي الآتي قد أخسر ما تبقى لدي من رصيد لديها ولكنها الحقيقة التي تدور بخلدي، فإن لديها ذات الكاريزما، ذات القدرة على الإلهام والتأثير.

لا أبالغ إذا قلت أني منذ إلتقيت بها وأنا أزيد إعجاباً وتقديراً كل يوم، لولا خوفي من إتهامي بإنني أتصيد لها الأخطاء أو أني أبحث عن نقاط الضعف في البشر من أجل أن أصل إلى إحساس كاذب بالتفوق، لقلت أنني خلال السنة التي مرت كنت لا أنفك أراقب ما تفعله وأستطيع الجزم بأني ولأول مرة في حياتي أمام إنسانة بلا عيوب، إنسانة متصالحة تماماً مع نفسها ومع الحياة.

لا يسعني سوى أن اتفاجأ في كل مرة تعلق تعليقاً يحمل في طياته أن يكون رأيي ذا أهمية بالنسبة إليها، فأنني أرى أنني لو كنت مكانها لما كان سيهمني آراء بشر عاديون كأمثالي… وهي التي فوق العادة. إنسانة ذكية، مثقفة، رقيقة، بسيطة، جميلة شكلاً ومضموناً، أم رائعة، بإختصار أميرة في زمن أصبح كل من به رعاع. الأهم من هذا أنها تتنقل بين أدوارها المختلفة في الحياة جاعلةً كل ما تفعل يبدو في منتهى السهولة، غير عابئة بصعوبة ما تفعل، غير مدركة لعظمتها، لكن يأتي تواضعها متسقاً مع مثاليتها في كل الجوانب الأخرى فلا أستغربه.

ربما إن أدركت لما عادت تلك الأميرة الأسطورية…

إنني لا أكتب هذا في محاولة لإسترضائها، بل في محاولة لتبرير موقفي، لشرح تصرفاتي في وجودها، لتعذر لي أن قد تكون هذه أول وآخر مرة يسعني أن أعبر عن نفسي باللغة العربية.

Now, I stand to gain/lose absolutely nothing by this, no vested interest in the Pepsi or Coca Cola companies what-so-ever. However, I have a genuine curiosity and a love for the game they call Marketing.

So, kindly indulge me, humor me the airheadedness of my questions:

1) Did you watch/listen to the new Coca Cola Zero campaigns?

2) Are you male or female?

3) What was your impression?

4) For guys, did you feel the ad spoke to you, targeted you as a consumer?

5) Did any of the women find it offensive or irritating or both?

6) How many guys out there actually stay up late to watch an Arabic soap?

Was just talking to some friends about how badgered I am by the campaign, I feel offended and completely alienated!

For the Coca Cola company; curious, did your market research people tell you your target customers were young men aged 14-30? Cause the ad sure reflects that!

Just a thought!

These are messages to myself, you may not necessarily agree with them, yet they are lessons I need drilled into my thick skull.

• There is such a thing as being over- competitive; that intense need to win can be detrimental and can backfire. It can also eat you alive or cause severe depression when you lose.
• Sometimes, irrespective of how much energy you put in, a cause could be utterly futile.
• The customer is ALWAYS right! One can not decide they’ve had enough of a customer being unrealistic, un-informed, cheap, arrogant, stupid or flaky. Under no circumstance is it alright to snap at a customer.
• All good things come to he who waits. Must…practice… patience.
• Allow for circumstances. Just cause your bosses promised you things, doesn’t mean that they can’t eat their words due to “unforeseeable circumstances”.
• Just because you’ve done the work, is under no way a guarentee that you will get any of the credit.
• No matter how brilliant you think you are, it’s what your boss thinks that matter.
• There is no such thing as a job description, grow up and get over this point already!
• Never again work for a company with fewer than 20 people on the ground. More so if you are going to be the youngest member in the team.
• It is ok to be tired, exhausted, exasperated and suicidal. As long as you find healthy release.
• Crying is therapy.
• My best friend is bliss.
• CFA self-study was (and continues to be) a bad idea, was absurd to think one could teach oneself self discipline by studying to sit for the CFA exam without an institutional study structure.
• Your superiors can give you hell about not meeting targets, then pass a perfectly fine deal to another branch because they are scared of taking the responsibility of executing such a large project. WTF??????!!!!! (can’t talk myself into this one quite yet).

Drawn by the controversy surrounding Dr. Youssef Zidane’s Novel; I read the book with the unusual title*. The book then went on to win this year’s Booker’s Prize.

The book is a tale of a Coptic priest’s journey from Upper Egypt to Alexandria and then Syria during a time of turmoil in Christianity. The self-christened “Hepa” journeys both physically and spiritually as he encounters both enlightenment and temptation. At times he’s resisted at other times yielded to both, realizing in some occasion that temptation and enlightenment could be one and the same, sides to the same coin.

I found the book’s pace to be slow at times and the plot started out quite mundane but became more and more intriguing as it approached the end. Hypatia fans will be both pleased and shocked by Zidane’s depiction of Alexandria at that time and of the woman herself, her achievements and her violent demise.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Zidane in person and can assure you he is nothing short of remarkably fascinating. True to his background and education he was an interesting conversationalist who could cite evidence to support his claims from holy books and literature across the ages in multiple languages. When asked about the title, he responded that religions since the dawn of time had offered versions of God’s or deities who represent the higher power and embody all that is good or righteous. With the rise of Judaism; man sought the other end of the spectrum, a higher entity which embodied all that is evil, for otherwise man himself would have had to bare responsibility for his evil actions, hence the birth of Azazeel.

This post is to pay recognition to a complete stranger who’s turned out to be quite the friend.

A celebrity in our field has for some inexplicable reason decided to take an interest in my career. I had expressed my interest in changing companies in an older post. She then surprised me by asking for a CV. I didn’t give it much thought, taking it to be an act of compassion, I e-mailed it to her. Within the next few weeks she had e-mailed me contacts of influential people at possible venues where I may seek gainful employment. She went a step further sending my CV herself to the management of one of the top consultancy firms in the nation with her personal recommendation and some flattering words in my regard.

Now to be exact, she has never seen me, nor met me. Her entire enthusiasm, compassion and trust are built solely on a CV and this cyber-space. She has gone out of her way to assist me, not once and not twice. She was generous, helpful and incredibly kind. She stands to gain absolutely nothing of all this.

Now I’m not entirely cold blooded; I’d like to think that I’m an overall decent helpful individual, yet I find myself questioning if I would go that far out of my way to assist a complete stranger. Hence I am utterly baffled, flattered and immensely grateful.

I know that on rare occasion she frequents this blog of mine. So on the off chance that you are reading; you’ve rendered me speechless, I am highly appreciative and extremely honoured.

Due to my background, following the financial crisis, friends were always asking me to explain what happened and why. I had tried my best to do that. Today I learned how well it can truly be done.

The below video has got to be the most simplified brilliant piece of analysis that I’ve seen for this crisis. I love how visual they were with it and how basic they kept it. I hope you all enjoy it.

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

….. Will be back sometime in June.

Decided to give the CFA June candidates a run for their money after all. Lets see if this can be pulled off in 2.5 months.

I am guessing that this is possibly a recurring theme in my writings as it is in my head; if so, forgive me the monotony. You see, I am a lazy individual. I was not born that way, but the triumph of experience over common sense has made me so. I am your typical why-put-in-100%-when-70-works-equally-well-for-the-task-at-hand individual. (Had to stop for breath twice didn’t ya?) With time and challenges I’ve tested my abilities and have slowly reduced the 70% to any number you please; basically, the bare minimum that would get me by without tarnishing the (insert adjective of choice, if I do, I’ll just be damn conceited) track record.

 
Now this was a good system for a number of reasons, it allowed me to multi-task devoting fractions of energy, time and attention to the various tasks. Moreover it gave me the ultimate excuse, in those few times when I miscalculated things and injected an insufficient amount of effort, those times when I did not succeed (I refuse to use that other word). I could simply chalk it off to the honest “I wasn’t really trying”. Only you have to be really smart on how you go about this, or you might end up losing things you can’t quite afford to lose. Yet for all the expendable, temporary, or trivial, feel free to jump in, or zone out.

 
Now a wise woman once told me that my biggest problem is that I live unchallenged, and that this is because I go through life comfortable numb, happy with my refusal to try. I go through life not trying, that’s why I bore easy, that’s why I need bigger and bigger challenges to reach the same level of satisfaction. Think of an accomplishment junkie much like an adrenaline one.

Now, due to a number of reasons, the support of loved ones, the need to prove oneself, the need to impress, the desire to succeed, the need to apply what I’ve learned and the search for validation from higher authorities have led me to apply to the MIT Arab Business Plan competition. Few of you knew about this, now all of you can easily make out that my name does not appear on the short list. When I hit enter a month ago to an application form 3 month in the making, I had high hopes, even when I was told I was application number 1688. I had high hopes because I had tried. I had, for the first time in a very long time, given something 100%.

 
Thirty of those applicants were to make it to round 2, I had zero doubt. Odds of 1:52 were child play, it was for sure and we had it made. Yes I realize what an obnoxious snob I am but honestly couldn’t care less. Anyways, on the 23rd of February the results came out, we didn’t make it. Time stopped and for a duration of time I can’t quite quantify I sat staring at my monitor. I read and re-read the results, refusing to believe my eyes. Odds of 1:52 were suddenly tiny.

 
I had tried ladies and gents and had come up short. It was an entirely alien concept; a completely foreign sentiment. I was not indifferent. At the same time I was not disappointed in myself for not having tried or for having lost it. I lost, pure and simple. Why I lost is open to interpretation, but doesn’t really matter.

You see, I tried, and that in itself is a worthy take away.

Okkk, here are your instructions:

1 – Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 – Go to “Random quotations”
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 – Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 – Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Behold:

Saint Kitts debut Celtic rock album. Coming soon to a music store near you. 

I know I promised. I gave you my word. It’s too damn hard. You say I go through life not trying. This is me trying and it’s proving extremely tiresome and nerve wrecking. I wish I could be that person again. The one who went through life comfortably numb.

Once again tagged by the lovely Gjoez.

Favorite color: Blue
Favorite perfume (guys): 212
Favorite perfume (girls): Armani Code
Favorite clothes brand in general: Zara
Favorite person in the entire world: The baby sister (just don’t tell her I said that).
Favorite country: China (in those I’ve visited), Spain (in those friends have gone to).
Favorite car: For a 2009 purchase I’m going to say Honda City; for more long term plans a sports car for sure, I am lenient towards the Nissan Z.
Favorite sport: Swimming.
Favorite sport player: my cousin, an upcoming tennis starlet!
Favorite spot in the World: Too tough.
Favorite animal: Dogs as pets, I love all wildlife.
Favorite movie: Too tough as well, going to go with “A Beautiful Mind” and yes I’m biast to fellow economists.
Favorite singer: Fairouz
Favorite day in the week: Fridays
Favorite time of the day: Early morning.
Favorite holiday season: Eids
Favorite number: I like odd numbers.
Favorite food: Asian, Italian, my Mom’s
Favorite chocolate: Dark Chocolate! (Lindt). Also Godiva’s (anything from there is heaven).
Favorite cartoon: Disney and Pixar fanatic; love them all.
Favorite blogger: Ya Sallam!
Favorite Flavor Ice Cream: Hagen-Daz (ay 7aga men 3andohom). In Alexandria I like the regular “labban” variety.
Favorite Mobile Brand: Samsung, now HTC.
Favorite name: Farida and Youssef.
Favorite room in my house: Our living room.
Favorite fruit: Peaches.
Favorite flower: Lillys.
Favorite Quran Reciter: Mohamed Jibreel
Favorite Website: How Stuff Works.

Seriously, people are never going to learn!

Greed will beat caution every single time!

Only this time, greed has beaten caution, intelligence, experience, stature, lessons of the past and better judgment!

I’m disgusted in humanity!

Dear going locallers,

Seeing as this idea has grown, it is time to let it go. Since it can’t continue to live on this blog and needs a room of it’s own.

As a first step, we have moved to facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?ref=sb#/group.php?gid=51852282115

Please check out the group, join it and let us know what you think.

During the upcoming week, the initiative will also have a blog to call it’s own, hence the delay in posting success stories.

Also, another housekeeping note, I’d love to hear all your input on the initiative, logo, slogans, ideas, actual experiences with local products you’d like to share, etc.

Kindly e-mail us at buyegypt@gmail.com

Also if you were kind enough to blog about it, e-mail us the link so it may be featured in the upcoming blog.

Take care y’all!

Salam!

The second unveiling this week. Behold, the logo.

Given the sheer amount of positive feedback (you all know you rock) here’s formalizing the initiative.

I give thee “Going Local – Masna3na 2awla Beena”

Proposed way this will work:

1) It is an invitation to one and all to start going local (Arab) in all their purchase decisions.

2) On a weekly basis in this outlet I will post either an Egyptian/Arab success story or a customer complaint directed to a local company. Feel free to start e-mailing me those.

3) Once we are all settled and happy with logo and slogan we can move this to venues with higher traffic.

Hope you all had a splendid weekend and may you have a work week that’s nothing short of extraordinary.

P.S. I realize how hideous the msn Arabic in the circle is but photoshop is being difficult, would highly welcome assistance.

Working on something and can really use the input. I need rough estimates of the following:

1) Hospital occupancy rates.
2) % of doctors who are surgeons.
3) Ratio of nurses to doctors on average in a hospital.
4) Price of doctor coats.
5) Price of scrubs.
6) Price of nurse uniforms (if you happen to know).
7) Price of patient gowns (if you happen to know).
Contacts of procurement heads in hospitals would be immensely appreciated.

Also if you could tell me what the famous brands are for lab coats, scrubs and gowns I’d highly highly appreciate it.

Ok ladies and gents who have warmed up to my idea of boycotting the boycotts and going local rather than global.

I’ve gone through my daily routine all weekend and have discovered the following:

1) It is extremely difficult to implement this with regard to hygiene products, if any of you are familiar of any truly local brands for soaps, shampoos, toothpaste or detergents I’d love to get acquainted.

2) With regard to clothing, local options do exist and are quite decent (albeit overpriced) at times. Must just make the conscious decision to tailor more and be less brand oriented. Wearing an Egyptian suit today and perfectly fine with it.

3) With regard to shoes and bags, once again, leather here is quite decent, give the local brands a try.

4) Breakfast options, for those of you who cook their own breakfasts you will find an abundance of local poultry, bean and dairy manufacturers. These really should be the least of our problems. I’ve checked with my mom regarding our cheese buying habits (Denmark and Holland being at the top of the boycotting list) and she said she makes it a point to buy the local brands. So to this end go Masreyeen or Domty or whatever it is you can buy. For processed meats she says some of the Arab brands are quite decent, I’ll settle for Arab.

5) To get to work, unless you are a CCC (and even in that case your bike is probably imported) you are taking a non-local car (even if assembled locally), I strongly doubt this will change in our lifetimes.

6) All the technology items at our office are American, the PCs the phones etc… Only the cables are manufactured locally. If anyone knows of a local manufacturer (not assembler) of PCs and phones kindly bring them to our attention.

7) All the furniture is local (elhamdollelah), basic wood and metal work and a little glass work for the partitions.

For delivery options at work you shouldn’t find a problem going local, there is quite a few chains coming out.

9) All our office printed material is being done locally, so stationary is not the issue.

This was a tour through my day, not sure about the rest of yours. Lets focus on the bright spots and lets work on identifying pioneers in the dark ones.

The post title is a working title, I like the innuendo of it. Still working on that logo, trying to avoid going cliche.

Cheers!