And Now…The Rest of The Story

Posted March 2, 2009 by mklasing
Categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Government, Humor, Life, Nancy Pelosi, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Socialism, funny, recession

Today we say goodbye to a great journalist and conservative…Paul Harvey.

Paul Harvey had an amazing career on the radio spanning 7 decades!  I personally listed to his News and Comments every chance I could for many years.  He is a true legend and radio icon.

In a tribute to Paul, we here at MKCB have decided to conduct a final interview of Mr. Harvey with some of his more famous quotes:

MK:  Paul, it is great to see you and I’m so exicted to ask you a few final questions before you journey on to a better place.  So on to my first question.  We are obviously going through some tough economic times–in fact some would say the worst in a billion years.  What advice can you give to those who have been really feeling the pinch of the current economic situation?

PAUL:  ” In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.”

MK:  Well I think that is sound, but our current President continues to pound the message that we are in a “crisis” that we are suffering through times “like none other”  that we are in an “unprecedented economic downturn,” so what would you say to President Obama in his attempts to lead us through these times?

PAUL:  “I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimest.”  So President Obama ought to instead be the optimist after all…“every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave.  Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be.”

MK:  I could not agree more.  And what about our great and wonderful Congress?  Ms. Pelosi and her ilk are dead set to turn our economy from a people/capitalist driven economy to a government/socialsit driven economy.  Any words for those who think we should look to Congress to “save us” from these economic times?

PAUL:  “If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ what is the opposite of ‘progress’?”

MK:    Exactly.  One thing an economic downturn does is force us to evaluate our lives and our careers.  Any advice for those who are reflecting on the past and trying to decide where to go from here?

PAUL:  “Like what you do, if you don’t like it, do something else.”

MK:  To the lighter side of things–are you much of a golfer?  Do you plan on hitting the golden links in heaven?

PAUL:  “Golf is a game in which you yell ‘Fore!,’ shoot six, and write down five.”

MK:  Finally, we have been told that Obama’s plans and stimulus package will “kick-start” the economy or “drop kick” it as VP Biden said, and yet today I learned that since President Barack Obama was elected, the Dow has dropped 2,562 points  and this past Friday, the Commerce Department reported that the U.S. economy shrank by 6.2%,  making it the worst quarter since 1982.  Most economists are predicting that labor data to be released this Friday will show that over 700,000 jobs were lost in February.  I thought President Obama was supposed to come in and save the economy, not turn it into something worse?

PAUL:  “Now you know the rest of the story.”

-Murphy

Hey Republicans–Where is William B. Travis?

Posted February 24, 2009 by mklasing
Categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, God, Government, Life, Obama, Patriotism, Politics, Republicans, Socialism, Texas, Thoughts on the World

I have begun posting so many times the last month and I just can’t seem to get one out without going into a rant about how stupid this bailout package is.  Well, actually, it is brilliant.  It is a brilliant scheme devised to secure the Government in every aspect of our lives and to lessen if not destroy State autonomy.  And another thing….(Ooops, I did it again as Britney would say).

But today in my attempt to get back to the blogosphere I thought we should reflect on a hero.  In Texas History, today is a day we should celebrate true heroism in a man named William Barrett Travis.  Of course, it is politically incorrect to celebrate this anymore because it necessarily entails discussing the war between Texas and Mexico–but too bad.

William Barrett Travis was the Commander at the Alamo during the war.  For those of you unfortunate souls who reside outside of Texas, let me give you a short history lesson.  The Alamo was a small mission in San Antonio where a small remnant of Texas troops (made up of many non-Texans who chose to help the fight) in 1836 stood and fought a 2000 man Mexican army thereby giving Sam Houston and the remainder of the Texas Army time to mobilize at the Battle of San Jacinto where the Mexican army, led by a dictator, was ultimately defeated.

A remnant of the structure of the Alamo still remains in San Antonio, apparently near the “Crockett Hotel” (does everything have to be about marketing?)

It was on February 24, 1836 that William B. Travis wrote a letter upon discovering that the Mexican Army was soon going to be upon them.  Here is the text of that letter:

“To the People of Texas & all Americans in the world, Fellow Citizens & Compatriots:  I am besieged by a thousand or more of the Mexicans under Santa Anna.  I have sustained a continual bombardment & cannonade for 24 hours & have not lost a man.  The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion, otherwise the garrison are to be put to the sword if the fort is taken.  I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, and our flag still waves proudly from the walls.  I shall never surrender nor retreat.  Then, I call on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism, & of everything dear to the American character, to come to our aid with all dispatch.  The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily & will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or five days.  If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country. Victory or Death-William Barret Travis, Lt. Col. Comdt.

P.S. The Lord is on our side.  When the enemy appeared in sight we had not three bushels of corn.  We have since found in deserted houses 80 or 90 bushels & got into the walls 20 or 30 head of Beeves.  -Travis”

On March 6, 1836, the Alamo was overrun and every courageous Texan, or, every courageous American was slaughtered by the 2000+ Mexican Army.

This is the America I love.  NOT the one where people can show up at a town hall meeting and beg her President for a new kitchen and receive it;  NOT the one where Politicians who have 4 foreclosed homes get to vote on mortgage bailout legislation; NOT the one where instead of passing tax cuts and other legislation to assist America-the government instead digs its claws deeper into all of our lives telling us how we should spend our money and live; NOT the one where you can purchase a house you cannot afford and then blame George Bush or the mortgage industry for your inability to make your monthly payments; NOT the one where “putting skin in the game” means expanding welfare benefits and unemployment benefits at the expense of those who work and pay their bills; NOT the one where it is considered “offensive” to say Merry Christmas, but it is perfectly valid to play songs like “I kissed a girl” on the open air radio waves; NOT the one where the citizens vote on a State Constitutional Amendment only to be told they are bigots and racists and uncaring hateful people for doing so and have that agenda be displayed during an awards show that is meant to celebrate art; NOT the one where diversity is celebrated–but only if you are not a right-wing Christian; NOT the one where Socialism reigns and Capitalism is considered evil; NOT the one where a person can be punished for what he is thinking-even if what he is thinking is offensive; NOT the one where radio stations are forced to have equal points of view under the ironic title of “fairness;” NOT the one where a President can literlly print money the Country doesn’t have and then the next day tell us we are not fiscally responsible and need to “pay as we go.”

The America I love is the one where individual success is celebrated and achieveable; where free markets and capitalism are used to keep us in check, instead of government bureaucrats who know more about fine wine and limos than how to run a business or an industry; where ideas are cherished and allowed to be expressed–even if they cross the line of offensiveness; where the press is free, our speech is free and we are free to worship in any pew we chose; where we recognize that we are ONE Nation UNDER GOD and that “God” is not another word for any person or group of humans on this planet; where we do not bow to the UN or pressure from other Nations to live as they do, but instead live as free men and women, working hard to earn a living and keeping what we earn; where neighbors come out during hurricanes and attacks on our buildings and help each other–without any government interference or need. 

The American I love is full of William B. Travises—I know they are out there–and I am BEGGING those who exist in the Republican party to get off their collective butts and stand up against the tidal wave of socialism that is threatening our very existence.  Stand up and fight–despite the odds–because as we all know, once the goverment has its hooks in, they are almost impossible to pull out.

God Bless you William B. Travis–and today I honor your courage and your memory.

 

-Murphy

Your Constitutional Right To Digital Jerry Springer

Posted January 16, 2009 by mklasing
Categories: Congress, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Government, Humor, Life, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Socialism, Thoughts on the World, funny

Okay, I apologize for being absent so long and then making you throw up in your mouth with this picture.  But imagine how much more you would hurl if you could see this in Full Digital Format!

Well, Americans have no fear, apparently the Bill of Rights has been updated while we were all worrying about gas prices, Hurricane Ike and whether or not we were being wire-tapped. And now we all have the right to Digital TV.

As I’m sure you are aware, sometime in February, anyone too cheap to spent a couple hundred dollars on a new small TV with digital capability will have to get a converter for their television to work properly.  Imagine, you are at home, you are all out of crack, Maury is about to announce the results of the paternity test and (snow)…you would totally freak out!

Once again, our fearless Government has come to the rescue.  Why spend $200 on a new TV when you can get a converter for $40–but wait there’s more…why spend $40 on a converter when you can get one of these:

Yes, that’s right, the Department of Commerce is issuing and has actually run out of $40 coupons so that you can continue to collect welfare and food stamps and sit on your butt at home and watch glorious digital tv from your old wooden TV box.

How can they do this you say?  Well let’s look at the role of the Department of Commerce.  Formed in 1903 as the Department of Labor, the Department’s mission is to “promote job creation and improved living standards for all Americans by creating an infrastructure that promotes economic growth, technological competitiveness, and sustainable development.” Among its tasks are gathering economic and demographic data for business and government decision-making, issuing patents and trademarks, and helping to set industrial standards.

And I suppose–their new mission is handing out socialist freebies.  Well, good for them–it is just in time for the ushering in of the most socialist and liberal-minded government our Nation has ever suffered under. 

So I did some checking and it turns out the Bill of Rights was updated–here is the new Bill of Rights:

Of course you know that the first 10 Amendments are the Bill of Rights.  And then Congress over the years passed Amendments 11-27.  So to add to the Bill of Rights they have to start with 28–which kind of messing everything up, but no worries.  Nobody in our Country read these anyway–if they did, they would vote differently.

So–Amendment 28: “Having determined that our Society will crumble if the poor cannot access television, Congress shall empower the Department of Commerce to hand out $40 digital converter coupons as all Americans have a right to view television.”

and these little known ones were added too:

Amendment 29:  “The youth of America cannot possibly be expected to converse with parents and other adults and certainly cannot be expected to read a book, therefore beginning 2010, Congress shall empower the Department of Commerce to issue every child a new IPod product in the following manner:  5-8 year olds, IPod nano, 9-12 year olds, IPod Classic, 13-18 year olds, IPod Touch.  This action shall be called the “No Child Left To Expand Their Mind” Amendment.

Amendment 30:  “All Americans have a right to a vacation, but of course, only rich Republicans (which is redundant) can afford them, therefore, Congress shall empower the Department of Commerce to seize 10 cruise ships under a condemnation action and hand out free 1 week passes to ride the ship to all Americans who fit the following criteria:  voted Democrat in the last election, lives beyond his/her means, is already receiving some form of government entitlement (such as Amendment 28) and has put forth the least amount of effort possible to succeed in life.”

Amendment 31:  “All Americans have a right to a tricked out cell phone.  Regardless of income, need or common sense, Congress shall empower the Federal Communication Commission to issue free tricked out Motorola cell phones to all Americans not currently on a cell phone plan that are age 8 and up.  If an American is on a plan and cancels that plan, they can apply for a free phone under this Amendment until March 31, 2018.”

I am so glad that Congress is finally addressing our real needs.  All of this money spent on “national security” and “road and bridges” and “failed Bush administration policies” will finally come to an end next week and we can all look forward to a new free-er (is that a word) America.  One that resembles, um, the old USSR.

-Murphy

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I’m Ready For My Bailout!

Posted December 10, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Government, Health Care, Humor, Life, Me, News, Politics, Satire, Socialism, Thoughts on the World, funny, recession

Well with GM seeking a bailout and Circuit City filing Bankruptcy and AIG needing more money and on and on–I have decided to formally step into the bailout line.  I know, you are saying, “But Murphy, you are a right-wing, cement-hearted, nut job conservative…how can you do such a thing?”  Well, there is an old saying, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

I thought that since we are about to have a nearly Socialist regime in our Government, it may be time to step in line and get some free stuff.

If companies that are mismanaged can go to the government with a Republican president and get free money, how much more can I get something once Obama takes over?

So, here is my bailout list:

1.  STUDENT LOAN DEBT

After law school I was saddled with a hefty student loan.  Then I worked for (don’t gasp), the Government for 2 years and deferred the loans since my salary was a little light.  Now, some 14 years after law school I still have a balance and I feel as though I need a bailout.  So I submit my request.

2.  WINE CLUB BAILOUT

After a trip to Napa Valley I learned about “wine clubs.”  You can sign up at each winery and they will send you 2 or 3 bottles a month and simply charge your credit card.  I feel it would responsible to my tasting experience to be a member of at least say…10 wine clubs.  But that would of course cost somewhere between $1000 and $1500 a month, which I really cannot afford…that is…unless I can get a Bailout!  So I submit this as my second request for a bailout.

3.  LEXUS BAILOUT

Currently I drive a 2006 Camry.

But I would really like to drive a 2009 Lexus.

So, if I could get go ahead and buy the Lexus (which I cannot afford) and then I will submit my request for a bailout on that as well.  Thank you Uncle Sam!

4.  EMOTIONAL BAILOUT

When I am blue or feeling down, I don’t like it.  If someone dies or if my stocks lose 40% of their value, I get a little sad.  Maybe the Government could provide me an emotional bailout.  Maybe I could get in the mail a DVD set of comedy stand-up routines by Jerry Seinfeld and Brian Regan and maybe all 9 seasons of the Golden Girls–or just this:

or this:

In any event, what I would really like a bailout from is scandals, Clinton appointees, higher taxes and socialist health care–guess I’ll have to wait 4 years for those.

-Murphy

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Governor Rod Blagojevich Actions Not His Fault

Posted December 10, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Football, Government, Humor, Law, NCAA, News, Obama, Politics, Satire, Thoughts on the World, election, funny, recession

Chicago-Well we finally have something other than the economy to discuss.  Rod Blagojevich.  For months now the FBi has been suspicious of this man because how many men at his age still have this much hair?

As Jon Stewart said last night on “The Daily Show”–what is written under there that he doesn’t want us to see?  Well, I for one think that we are all being a little too hard on Mr. Blagosdfkwe=whatever.  Although–he is no stranger to corruption discussions.  In 2005 he was investigated as part of a scheme to steer pension plans from the State to his large campaign contributors.  But as he said then–he knew nothing about that.

Then, of course there were those silly rumors that he was actually gay.  But that is just plain ridiculous.

The reality is, the Governor was not breaking the law.  Sure he is being charged with tons of crimes including bribery and corruption, but he is right that the “bleeping” Senate office left vacant President-Elect Obama is a “bleeping” important office and it shouldn’t be simply given away for “bleeping” free.  After all–the economy is in the tank and how can Illinois afford to have a Governor that cannot afford to feed his own family.  I mean look at the tiny house he lives in:

Pathetic.  Why I would rather sleep in a cardboard box–at least I would have my dignity.  Plus his salary is a little over a paltry $177K per year–not even “rich” under Obama’s standards.  It is such a shame–with the economy hurting and organized crime needing their payoffs in Chicago, even Oprah is stressed and laying on the weight again.

So are we to condemn this man–this friend of our new President, for a couple of poor decisions related to finances?

I say “No”–let’s look instead at the real problem.  Of course, there is the underlying issue of the “failed policies of the Bush administration” that is the cause of our financial woes (not the mortgage crises or unions or socialist policies of the left)–But the real problem–the root of all of our current angst and anxiety-

The root of all evil and the example of all things wrong with our society:

Yes, the BCS–it is clear that if we had a playoff system, or if UT was rightfully playing for the National Championship, then we would not have Governors of States like Illinois making such irrational decisions.  Clearly, this disruption in the natural order of things has caused poor Blogaofeviehsasdfasdthek  to not think clearly and to say things he must not mean.

So join with me in anticipating the Democrat response–blame Bush (obviously)–but let’s blame the real culprits–after all we do not live in a society where personal responsibility means anything–so in anticipating the need for a scapegoat–I offer the BCS…and of course, the Oklahoma Sooners.

-Murphy

(if you would like to donate to the Blogovsicheisgheih criminal defense fund–just send it directly to the “Office of the President Elect”  if you can locate such an office–after all–the US believes Obama can spend our money better than we can ourselves–I’m sure this is no exception)

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Thanksgiving Post: What Am I Thankful For?

Posted November 25, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: 1, Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Football, Gas, God, Government, Hillary Clinton, Humor, Life, Me, Military, News, Obama, Patriotism, Politics, Thoughts on the World, University of Texas, funny, recession

In a year that has gone south in many ways for me (economics, market, election, Texas/Texas Tech game, turning 40, hairline) there are so many things to be thankful for.  Thanksgiving should be a time to reflect on such things leading up to the “big one” on December 25–the day that matters most.  So I thought I would let you know what I am thankful for- in a time where many people are not giving thanks.  So, in no particular order:

I.  AMERICA

I am thankful I live in the United States of America, which, as of today, is still the “land of the free” and the “home of the brave.”  I am thankful that since 9/11/01 there have been no terrorist attacks on our shores.  I am thankful that our airports, planes and buildings have remained safe in the last 7 years.   I am thankful for our troops.

They continue to work tirelessly to protect our freedom and to protect the citizens of Iraq from attacks.  They are true heroes and I am so thankful for them.  I am thankful for our President.  Yes, I know the polls and the pundits suggest that I shouldn’t be, but I am.  President Bush has worked hard to keep my children safe and has worked in an environment filled with the most vile, nasty, and undeserved attacks from members of the Democrat Party, yet, he has never failed to get up each day and do his best for our Nation.  I have not always agreed with him, but I am so very thankful for him and the job he has done.  So–Thank you Mr. President–you do a job that most Americans cannot and would not (hmmm..maybe an illegal immigrant should run for office–but I digress)

II.  FAMILY

No, I am not related to John Patterson.  Unlike this guy, I am very thankful for my family.  My wife, 3 kids, parents, in-laws, sister, nieces and nephews.  Although all families are imperfect, I am thankful that mine is perfectly normal and that so far, they have not decided to leave me.   I am thankful that my kids are healthy and do well in school and seem to be wary of morality and ethics.  I am thankful that my wife works tirelessly to make sure they are taught right and wrong and are well taken care of.  I am thankful that my parents and in-laws are still here and healthy and enjoy spending time with us.

III.   MISCELLAENOUS

A.  Dark Chocolate

Duh!  There is no greater sweetness.

B.  Colt McCoy

Yes, the entire Texas Longhorn team is great this year, but without McCoy, the team would certainly be in a different position in the polls and the National Title Race.  So I am thankful for him.

C.  The Gas Conspiracy

You know—either the Bush conspiracy–that Bush drove up the prices from his Oval Office Supercomputer to help his buddies at Big Oil, OR–the Obama conspiracy–that the Middle East drove up the prices to make the Country believe in the Bush conspiracy so that voters would chose Obama only to have the prices fall just after the election.  Well whichever fantasy you think is correct–the outcome is the same.  I am thankful that my Camry now costs $26 to fill up instead of $60 and that my Suburban costs $48 instead of $100.

D.  Hillary Clinton

I know, you are shocked that I would list her on my “thankful” list.  But I am thankful that she has been taken out of the Senate.  No longer will I have to listen to her pontificate about health care or some other socialist agenda item on C-Span.  Now she will be going to the Middle East to “impress” the Saudi’s–ha that is really funny.  For that I am thankful.

IV.  GOD

Finally, and primarily, I am thankful to God.  Thankful to Him for all of the above and so much more.  Thankful that His hand has not left my family or our Country.  Thankful that He continues to bless my life and the lives of those in my family and circle of friends.  Thankful that all of our needs continue to be provided.  Thankful that regardless of elections, stock markets, gas prices or National Championships, He remains faithful and constant.

God Bless you, your family, your job, your finances and your health.  And I wish you all–yes even you silly Democrats who get on here and call me names–even you guys—I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

-Murphy

Texas vs. Texas A&M-POOR AGGIES!

Posted November 19, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Aggies, College, Current Events, Football, Humor, Life, NCAA, Satire, Sports, University of Texas

I know, I shouldn’t beat up on a team that is 4-7 and just lost by 20 to BAYLOR.  Yes, Baylor!  But it is now an annual tradition.  Here at MK’s Conservative Blog, we like to take a moment out each year to discuss our rivals, the Aggies.  After all, there is so much material to work with.  Last year I made a valiant effort to disclose the outright craziness of the Aggie Traditions, from grabbing your crotch during a yell to burying the mascot so he can see the scoreboard–from underground.  (See Previous Post)

So this year we need a new angle.  Instead of making some boring list about why the Aggies need to be made fun of and why they are so deserving.  Here are some pictures, jokes and a short interview that tells the story all by themselves:

Yell Leaders by sarowen (camera is being repaired...).

“Now Bubba and Cletus, when the two bulls come out we will hold down your back while you try and kick ‘em.”

(whispering)-{sorry I can’t caption this one–you do it and keep it PG}

“Um…Hey Buford, do you hear a kind of ‘clank, bbbrpppbbb, clank’ sound?”

{an oldie but goodie}:

All boarded up and ready for the hurricane–that is, if it actually comes from inside the store.

“Go ahead, make one more joke about the Christmas lights”

(fast forward to 2012)-”And annoucing the Democratic candidate for the Texas Senate Seat…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Darth Aggie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And the winner of this year’s academic scholarship to Texas A&M is…”

“You know Roscoe, you were right, the truck won’t float even though it is still hitched to the boat.”

And a few jokes–just for fun:

How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
            Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
            On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
            It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!

Finally, a short interview with an A&M student:

Our team of investigators met up with this Aggie fan named Mike:

Q:  So how do you feel about having a losing season right now?

A:  We ain’t losing, we still haven’t played TU.

Q:  Yes, but your record is 4-7–how does that make you feel as a devoted fan?

A:  Our record is nuthin’ until we play TU, understand?

Q:  No, but I’ll transition into something else?

A:  You can turn into another being?

Q:  NO!, I mean I’ll move on…so, speaking of the rivalry, what are you doing to prepare for the Texas game?

A:  There is no “Texas game” there is an A&M game where we open up a 6 pack of whoop-a** on TU.

Q:  Semantics aside…

A:  I did not do well in Geometry so let’s talk about something else.

Q: Um…okay  what do you do on game day to prepare?

A:  Well, this year it is back on Turkey Day as you know, and I’ll be eating a couple of Turkeys and then proabably get a big bowl of stuffin’ and maybe some candied yams and some green bean casserole and then I’ll have some lunch  and make the drive to A-town and watch TU get their butts turned inside out.

Q:  Okay, I’m not sure what that means exactly but I think I get the point.  So  if A&M goes 1-11 that is okay with you so long as they beat Tex..er.. I mean TU?

A:  Maybe you don’t understand what I’m saying.  There is no record until after we beat TU-which in the last 3 years we have done 2 times so get ready for some whoopin’

Q:  Great, well have a great time at the game.

A:  You too, hey, you gonna eat those fries…

-Murphy

PS:  Eric Chamble calls in to the unofficial MKCB show and asks the fans of the site:  “How does A&M feel knowing that their rival was once Texas, then Texas Tech and now they have to say that their real rival is Baylor?”

As always MKCB thanks Eric for his insightful and obviously cynical and sarcastic question–We love that stuff here.  :)

The Straight Talk About The Straight Ticket

Posted November 18, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Government, Law, Life, News, Obama, Politics, Thoughts on the World, drugs, election

 

Thank you Democrat straight ticket voters.  Thanks for all you have done to help our society.  I understand you wanted “change” and you were willing to wear Go Obama stickers and chant and scream and faint whenever HE spoke—but in the process you forgot one little thing—your own laziness.

I’m sorry up front–I know accusing people of negative things is so out and calling people out on their choices is so last year–but in communities all over the Country where people yanked the straight ticket they ended up voting for many opportunists like the jolly man pictured above. 

In so doing, many excellent district clerks, judges, tax assessors, school board members, mayors, sheriffs and other local republican politicians that were doing a great job for their communities were swept away by the tsunami of straight ticket votes.

Why vote straight ticket?  Laziness.  Very few people vote straight ticket because they have examined each candidate in each race and decided to vote all Republican or all Democrat.  I am about as right-wing as I can be and even I, yes I voted race by race.  If I did not know either candidate, I left it blank, and in 2 instances I actually voted for (gasp) a democrat! 

I’ll never tell which ones–but trust me, I did.

So you don’t think there is any harm in straight ticket voting–the lever for the lazy?  Take the local case of Devon Anderson.

Devon is the current Criminal District Court Judge for the 177th Judicial District Court in Harris County, Texas (Houston for those of you in other states).  Devon was a long-time prosecutor and is a person untouchable integrity.  She has been an amazing Judge and has done wonderful things for our community.  I know of almost no lawyers from the DEFENSE BAR that dislike her.  She is fair, honest and tries her best to do the right thing in every case.  But, she was up this last term.  She was beat in a wave of straight ticket voting by Kevin Fine:

260xstory
Mr. Fine said he’ll draw from his experiences as a cocaine addict who has been clean and sober for 10 years when presiding over felony cases.  “Every time I was coming down, I felt like the devil was reaching into my soul, stealing my heart,” he said of his days spent with drugs.  See Full Article.
As a side note–Judge Anderson is one of 4 judges who preside over the County’s Drug Courts.  Mr. Fine states, “I ran,” Fine said, “because I felt like I could help more people as a judge than I could one at a time as clients.”  (uh, no you didn’t—the local Dem party had a big meeting and asked for volunteers to run for every bench and you were one of many who said “sure”)
That is sooooooo great!  We want Judges in our Criminal System to “help people” because that is their role–oh no, wait, being an activist and community worker is actually not the goal or the job of a Judge–they are to rule on the law impartially.  Whoops–guess he didn’t know that.
There are so many more examples of this all over our Nation–but hey, maybe this is the “change” people were looking for.  Well congratulations lazy voters–you will get exactly what you asked for–major, heart wrenching, society altering “change.”
After all, straight ticket voting got us change before–remember 1976-1980?  Obama does:
080401-obama-gas-line21
Yea!  Gas lines, hostages, stagflation, high borrowing rates, unemployment—and former drug addicts presiding as Judges in a felony Drug Court–now that is some “change” we need.
Thanks again straight voters–your unintended brilliance is simply amazing.
-Murphy

 

Post Election Happiness!

Posted November 5, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Government, Humor, Life, Mom, News, Satire, Thoughts on the World, election, funny

“It only takes a spark, to get a fire going….and soon all those around can warm up to its glowing…”

Oh, sorry, for a second there I got caught up in my post-election happiness.  I mean now, that we will all finally have peace, love, happiness, health care, a home, college eduction and free food, how can I not be overjoyed!  The US has spoken.  66 million people have decided they would rather have the Government take care of their needs than take care of them on their own.  66 million people have decided that Socialism may be better than Capitalism.  66 million people have decided that “change” is good regardless of what it is or its cost.  So Bravo America!  You have chosen…time will tell if you have chosen wisely.

So why in the world is this titled “Post-Election Happiness?”  I mean how can I be happy, many wonderful, hard working and excellent Judges in my home town were defeated simply because they were Republicans. 

Devon Anderson–an excellent no-nonsense law and order Judge-defeated.

Caprice Cosper–a caring Judge who is not afraid to put bad guys away when they deserve it-defeated.

Levi Benton–one of the few judges I have ever been before who reads and studies the law and does all he can to make the right decision every time-defeated.

Ken Wise-a judge who is smart, knows the law, and is sensitive to the needs of all litigants in the Courtroom, and who is fair-minded-defeated

Sherolyn Wood-a judge since 1982 who has ruled on more cases than most judges in the Country-honest about her feelings on a case, no-nonsense attitude and hard working-defeated

and the list goes on…

Not to mention that numerous great Represenatives and Senators like Elizabeth Dole-defeated.  And of course, our last hope for conservative idealisms for the next 4 years, John McCain-defeated.

So how can I be happy about the election?

Because in one small corner of the world–there was a resounding victory for our most precious commodity next to children—mothers.

Yes, that’s right–there was a victory yesterday for moms.  Well, maybe not the traditional kind of soccer mom that you are thinking of–and well, maybe not the clean your face, prepare your dinner, wash your clothes handle a career at the same time kind of mom you have.

But nevertheless, this victory tells all moms, especially pregnant moms and moms caring for little ones that they will not be confined to the societal cages of yesteryear.  They will be able to stretch their limbs, turn around and make their voices heard.

Why?  Because the wonderfully intelligent voters of California, who voted on the one hand to elect a gay marriage-supporting President and on the other voted for a Constitutional ban on gay marriage in their own State–they have voted “YES” to Proposition 2.

What is that you ask?  It is a new law that creates criminal liability for anyone who wrongfully confines egg-laying chickens or pregnant pigs.  This new law will make it mandatory that cages for such wonderful little mothers be big enough so that the animal, err mom I mean, can “lie down, stand up, fully extend their limbs and turn around freely.”

So, no more of this horrible treatment.  Now when these moms have their babies taken from them soon after they are laid (or is it lain–I hate this verb), it won’t be from some nasty crowded cage like this one.  And the moms will be able to turn around and talk to their other chicken mom friends about the evils of the baby-sale of their children.

And don’t forget the pigs.

No more of this either.  Just look at them–what if one of them has restless leg syndrome and can’t stretch out–oh the humanity or piganity or whatever.  I’m just glad the mom’s took home this trophy.

Net result-higher priced bacon and eggs-but isn’t it worth it?  for the moms?

So don’t fret–not everything was lost yesterday–at least we took home this one.

-Murphy

Viva MOM!

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Spreading The Wealth-Because You Earned It

Posted October 24, 2008 by mklasing
Categories: Current Events, Democrats, Economy, Government, Life, News, Obama, Politics, Socialism, Thoughts on the World, election

Ever since Joe the Plumber stepped into a Democratic-controlled media so they could take him apart him for his own personal mishaps in life to divert attention away from the Marxist comment of Senator Obama–I have been more and more startled to hear people lining up to vote for this man.  A man who believes that it is okay to take money away from those who have earned it and give it to those who have not.

“Spreading the Wealth” is not a new concept–why Karl Marx had this idea years ago.  You have already heard some of his words in different contexts.

For example, Obama would like to take the “windfall profits” of Exxon and Shell and Chevron because he deems those profits to be too large.  Interestingly, Karl Marx had a theory called “surplus value.”  That is the difference in what a wage earner makes at a company and the value of the work actually performed (in other words, the profits made by the company).  He believed that “surplus” belonged to the worker.

Marx believed that capitalism is the root of social class warfare and unfair distinction–therefore, only a system where the wealth of the whole is redistributed more evenly to that same whole, can we finally get rid of class elitism and envy.

In other words, get rid of wealth and we will all suffer the same.  

Sounds awesome!

So for those of you that have worked for years, decades even to finally reach that point in life where you make a comfortable living and can afford a few vacations, nice bottles of wine and new cars, it is time that all that hard work be punished.

Time to beat the drive and work ethic out of you by having the Government take your money and more “fairly” distribute it where it is really needed.

Here are some other famous quotes from the author of every idea Obama has for our Country:

1.  On Religion:  “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.”

2.  On Judiasm:  “What is the secular basis of Judaism? Practical need, selfishness. What is the secular cult of the Jew? Haggling. What is his secular god? Money. Well then, an emancipation from haggling and money, from practical, real Judaism would be the self emancipation of our age.

3.  On Democracy:  “Democracy is the road to socialism.”

4.  On Redistribution:  “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.”

5.  On Labor’s Value:  “We should not say that one man’s hour is worth another man’s hour, but rather that one man during an hour is worth just as much as another man during an hour.”

6.  On Peace:  “The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism.”

Ahhh, and the 6th one is the most scary.  See if you oppose the movement to more plainly “socialize” our Nation, then you will be the root cause of why there is not peace in our lives.  Does the media’s attempt to demonize Joe the Plumber and make fun of Sarah Palin’s wardrobe sound like this? 

On its face, redistribution of wealth sounds great—to those who have no wealth to begin with.  The reality is that socialist ideas have shown that what really happens is the lower class expands to suck up the  middle class leaving rich and poor and nothing in between.

Getting something free–is not always a good thing.  I would compare Obama’s socialist policies to this:

Free is not always better.

-Murphy

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