Fuck, that is totally unspeakable

Let's face it, the government has a fucking lot to answer for. But thanks to The Lovely Trixy, we have a story which totally blew my cuntishness meter apart:

I'm not a fan of Big Brother; the only possible decent use of the house would be to keep the people who win the auditions in there, minus the cameras. So I was quite pleased to hear the news in the summer that Channel 4 would not be renewing Endemol's contract to produce the dross. Unfortunately this means that we do have one series left in 2010 to keep actual news out of the papers in an already watered down media.

But an e-mail which passed across my desk has moved them lower in my estimation: something I didn't think was possible. Casting directors have been e-mailing various organisations asking them to encouraging members to contact the production company along side the usual open auditions which, one can presume, aren't going that well. That wouldn't be so bad, I suppose, if they hadn't contacted a particular charity who assist vulnerable veterans suffering from homelessness, drink and drug abuse asking for 'case studies' to contact.

Men and women who have bravely served their country and fallen on hard times or dealt badly with the transition from the Armed Forces to civvy street are now ideal people to be under continual observation and media scrutiny, are they?

How fucking heartless do you have to be to think that putting a homeless person in a house where they face a weekly eviction vote is a good idea?

I suppose for the Islington set, it's alright to send the army into pointless wars to keep in America's good books, it's alright to cut their budget to fund plush new offices for bureaucrats, so I can't see why it wouldn't be alright to insult and exploit them one last time.

Endemol: beyond any fucking boundary of good taste and decency.

You utter cunts.

It's inevitable, really

Is it just me, or have we started getting snow slightly more regularly than we used to? Anyway, let's fucking face it, snow in the UK is not exactly fucking unheard of, is it?

So why the fucking fuck does the fucking cuntry collapse every time we get half an inch? Jesus fucking wept, the schools were all fucking closed, OBVIOUSLY. So there were fucking hordes of school kids running around having a fucking ball, all so the useless cuntish teachers could skive off a fucking day early.

Trains were all fucked (of course!) and the roads were full of people who clearly didn't fucking remember what happened last year when they drove in the snow.

Christ, I can't believe the monumental levels of incompetence and stupidity in this country.

CUNTS!

Dear Beds Melbourne

FUCK OFF AND STOP SPAMMING MY FUCKING BLOG, YOU MONGOLOID FUCK MONKEY CUNT.

You have to read ...

 ... this.

That is all.

Farewell to the Togmeister

It is with a heavy heart that I add my voice to the chorus of people bidding the corpsing old duffer goodbye.

Truly unique and magnificent, with both the ultimate face and moleskin trousers for radio, with the filthiest listeners in the whole of Christendom. I wish you were able to go on for ever!

Vale*, Sir Terry!

*I don't speak it. Thanks for the correction.

Is it an ego thing?

The tedious old Godbotherer was wittering on about our politicians' Christmas cards. And while I am an atheist and couldn't really give a rat's fucking arse about the religiosity of the cards, I had to admit they are a rum old bunch of fucking cards:

The Prime Mentalist has this cheesy number:



Enjoy it, you snot-munching goat-felcher, it's the last fucking time you're going to be able to use that iconic image.

iDave has gone for some Tory brand-brandishing:



Classy, Dave. Just to remind everyone that you're a Tory.

That other bloke, you know the nonentity, what's his name?



A Mickey Mouse card from a Mickey Mouse politician, I suppose. But it's the start of the ego thing.

Then we've got the simpering buttmunch and his bike:



What the fuck is that about then? Who'd want to see this grinning cretin and his spawn on their fucking mantlepiece? It's enough to put you off your fucking sprouts.

And then the real stomach turner from Tony Bliar:



At least Bercow is happy, even though it's because the little fuck is troughing at our expense. Bliar just looks like he's got wind. Or he's remembered that he has to fuck slotgob that night.

But seriously, how big does your fucking ego have to be that you print a fucking photo of yourself for a Christmas card? How fucked in the head do you have to be? It's not like your fucking mates (if you have any) or your family have forgotten what you look like. And if they have, they can just look at the front page of the Sun or whatever.

Really, you fucking lunatics, get a fucking grip!

Last Christmas

This is usually what Christmas get-togethers are like at chez Obo:

Compare and contrast

This genius with this one.

Science funding cut

I was watching the idiot lantern yesterday after PMQ's and immediately after the shit-shower there was a brief slot where some po-faced scientist fuckwit went hammering on about the cuts to science funding and how science funding had to be not just ringfenced, but boosted.

Just like education and defence and welfare and healthcare and ...

He went on to say that research led to get enormous and disproportionate benefits to business in the UK.

I was kind of bemused. Why do taxpayers fund scientific research if companies benefit? Is this the usual thing of the taxpayer sucking up the costs while big business makes a killing on successful research? Why don't businesses fund their own fucking research?

Well, obviously it's because the simple-minded government got soaked by business. Would you pay for your own research if you knew that for the cost of a few agreeable lunches you could convince some woolly-headed minister or, even better, some puffed-up, unaccountable civil servant that it was in the country's interest for them to pay your costs?

Only, it turns out that contrary to what Professor Fuckwit was implying, private companies do fund their own research:

The genetic code of two of the most deadly cancers has been cracked by British scientists in a world first that opens up a whole new era in the treatment for the disease

So, why are we funding research at all? I guess because we fund all higher education, and that's where the research takes place.

Well, fuck that, I say. Let universities charge to accept students, seek donations and bursaries and corporate funding from those who benefit from their work. The taxpayer is funding other people's profits. Do you really think it's vital to suck up the costs of some giant pharma or corporate conglomerate? How is this different (except in scale) to the bank bail-out?

And my soul withered just a little when that jug-eared fuckwit called Charles (Clarke) said that the state should stop funding all science research and just focus on the winners. A decade in government plus all the rest of human history hasn't taught him that the government has an appalling track record in picking winners.

The claret-faced cunt.

Massive Adobe Acrobat security flaw and how to protect yourself

If you use Acrobat or Reader (and I'm pretty sure most people do!) you need to be aware of a nasty security flaw that can be used to deliver malware to your computer. There are more details here, but fortunately protecting yourself isn't too difficult and won't make your life any more difficult:

In the meantime, users should configure their programs to disable javascript. This can be done in Reader by opening up preferences, selecting the javascript tab and unchecking the box that says "Enable Acrobat javascript." Remember, there's no compelling reason for ever allowing javascript in Acrobat, and the computer you save may be your own.

Just fucking do it, OK?

#Climategate - From Russia with Love

It seems that the Russians have weighed in with a contribution to Climategate: they accuse the Met Office's Hadley Centre of cherry-picking data sets which support global warming, while ignoring huge swathes of the data because it would have cancelled out the warming shown in the data they did select.

The rather sound Delingpole has more.

#PMQs

Christ almighty, that was a complete waste of fucking time. Flanneling, waffling questions; non-answers; load of old bollocks planted questions.

What utter cunt.

Master B3ta

Yes, please!

New poll - government activity

I skimmed an A-Z list of government departments and quangoes, pretty much everything here is provided by government monopoly. This isn't a complete list, either, it's only about a third or quarter of government activity. There isn't a lot there that I think needs to be provided by government at all, but I wondered how my reader felt about which services should be provided by the state and only the state.

Fuck the corporate whores, let's get some real music on the charts this Christmas

Fuck RATM and their sucking of Big Music's cock. Fuck X-Talent's got Come and their sucking of Simon Cowell's cock.

If you want to do something good for Christmas, buy Half Man, Half Biscuit's Christmas single, It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas. You can buy it from TuneTribe or iTunes. 

And if you're not already a fan of HMHB, then try a few more tracks and be prepared to fall in love.

The loneliness of the long-distance blogger

I've been struggling to find my blogging mojo lately. Every time I read the news, instead of getting angry, I just get increasingly depressed. We are surrounded not just by immense stupidity, but by wilful immense stupidity.

The unquestioning slurping of Pachauri's cock (and Al Gore's) at Copenhagen makes me want to slit my throat. The fact that Iran (which is full of lovely people, but ruled by utter fucknuts) looks like it's got a Bomb makes me want to go lock myself in a dark room with the gas on. The government's financial plan to get out of recession has me reaching for my revolver.

It's bollock-grabbingly cold and foggy, so I can't even launch the penis extension to cheer myself up.

And did I mention I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet?

Fuck.

Calling Mark Wadsworth...

This'll make you happy!

Oh, go on then ... #trafigura

Some people just don't know when to quit, do they?

Update: Censored report here.

Iain Dale does satire

And it's not bad.

#Climategate - Monckton puts the boot in

Lord Monckton on Climategate at the 2nd International Climate Conference from CFACT on Vimeo.