Shouts & Murmurs
Algorithms
If you like responding to only every third e-mail you get from someone, you might also like buying a house on the edge of a cliff.
Explaining U.S. Holidays to Extraterrestrials
Human life is terribly short, so on this day we celebrate staving off death for another revolution around the sun.
Times You Didn’t Tip Enough and Ruined Someone’s Life
When you drank yourself sloppy, vomited in the corner of your booth, and left seven business cards instead of a tip, Joel’s rough night was only just beginning.
How to Read “Infinite Jest”
Take a selfie with book “accidentally” in background. Post on social media.
All-Purpose Nondisclosure Agreement
Should I be subpoenaed in your divorce proceedings, I will remain loyal to both you and the beach house that has been transferred to my name.
Shouts & Murmurs: Ask the Compliance Expert
Let me answer your question with a question: Have you been caught? If not, for all practical purposes you are in compliance.
New Social-Media User Guidelines
All Twitter users must now check a box indicating whether they’re a white supremacist or a comedian. It will just be easier this way.
The Oxford Book of Footnotes
The first use of a footnote has been traced to the year 1347, in an indecipherable Nordic handbook of cute sayings.
