The cost of fitting in

WRITTEN BY LORI NISHIURA MACKENZIE, LOURDES V. ANDRADE AND SARAH A. SOULE

For some, fitting in means knowing what’s expected of them and that makes them feel comfortable at work. For others, it’s more complicated, as Stanford alum Jesse Rowe explains. Not every situation is equally welcoming to everyone, such as, when someone makes a slight or an offhand remark that conveys a derogatory, or negative attitude toward underrepresented or marginalized groups. “When I’m the only person who looks like me in the room,” explains Rowe, “and nobody else is speaking up” fitting in means that, “I just keep my head down and keep driving and mind my own business on it.” In other words, fitting in can have a cost. Instead of comfort, it can lead to a diminished sense of belonging.

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