Calling Dr. Zoidberg

Look deep into the Futurama, and see what lies in store for health care.

Greener Pastures

Now that health care reform has passed, will Rush Limbaugh really move to Costa Rica?

My Bad

Texas Republican, Randy Neugebauer, comes clean about his "Baby Killah" outburst.

Daily Dose

Watch this Daily Show retrospective on the battle for dystopic socialist fascism (aka health care reform).
March 26 at 12:53PM

Rep. Paul Broun Wants People of All Faiths to Come Together and Honor His

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Ever notice how Americans are so rarely boiling baby goats in pots full of their mothers' milk? There's a reason for that, and it's called The Ten Commandments. You know the Ten Commandments; that's the document on which the United States (and all of Western Civilization for that matter) was founded, I think. Anyway, that's what Rep. Paul Broun says, and I see no reason to distrust him. He is a Christian, after all.

So, seeing as how the Ten Commandments "have been part of the Nation's basic cultural fabric" and are "understood as an elemental source for United States law" and "have become a recognized symbol of law in the Nation's culture," we might as well pass a law making it legally binding that we set aside a weekend for all Americans to bow down before their graven image

Resolved, That the House of Representatives –

(1) supports the designation of Ten Commandments Weekend;

(2) celebrates the significant role the Ten Commandments have played in the development of significant public and private institutions of the United States; and

(3) encourages citizens of all faiths and religious persuasions to reflect on the important impact that the Ten Commandments have had on the people and national character of the United States.

See that? This is not just a law for Christians and Jews. It's a law for everybody. Everybody is free to "reflect on the important impact" of Judeo-Christian belief, regardless of the evil heathen lie you swallowed whole from the Devil's very anus.

How very inclusive of Broun. He's such a good Christian, isn't he?

(via Chris Rodda)

March 26 at 12:09PM

If Health Care Reform Were a Moose, Sarah Palin Would Be Shooting It Right Now*

The other day I got an email from Sarah Palin, something about the "government takeover of health care" and her new catchphrase, "take back the 20," which means… putting Ronald Reagan on the $20 bill? Putting Sarah Palin on the $20 bill? Who knows? The day after health care legislation passed there were 5,208 emails in my inbox telling me how horrible/awesome the whole thing was and after a while I had to stop reading.

Luckily Sarah Palin's message was just a reprint of a note she posted on Facebook, so we can revist and learn that she's aiming her fire at 20 House members who a) "voted in favor of Obamacare and represent districts that Senator John McCain and I carried during the 2008 election" and b) are up for re-election.

These Representatives better duck and cover, because– no seriously. Here's the graphic Sarah Palin chose to illustrate her commitment to, um, eliminating these people:

Read more »

March 26 at 11:02AM

John Edwards' Career Through The Daily Show Lens

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Years from now, we'll be talking to our children, trying to explain to them what The People's Public of Atheimerica was like before the Glorious Revolution/Great Dorito Famine. Back when it was still a Democracy, and had not yet fallen under the yoke of Obammunism. And we'll tell stories of "presidents" and "candidates," and we'll mention a man who used to say that he stood up for working class people. A man named John Edwards.

And they'll say, "You mean that guy who's in all those porn films under the neighbor's upstairs bathroom sink?" And you'll say, "Yeah, that's him."



The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

March 26 at 9:00AM

Maybe Harry Reid Doesn't Want Health Care Reform After All?

It passed the House, it became a big fucking deal, it went back to the Senate, it went back to the House, it performed a triple lutz and finally — finally — it stuck the landing

The so-called reconciliation package, which also includes a major reorganization of the federal student loan program, passed the Senate Thursday afternoon 56-43 on a nearly party-line vote after a grueling night and day of roll-call votes during which Republicans sought to derail the bill.

Later Thursday evening, House Democrats approved the same package 220 to 207 and formally concluded Democrats' tortuous 14-month drive to move major healthcare legislation through Congress for the first time in nearly half a century.

Which is not to say there weren't a few glitches along the way…

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid mistakenly called out "no" Thursday when asked for his vote on the health care reconciliation bill, setting the chamber howling with laughter.

Reid voted the wrong way when the clerk called for his vote, realized his error and quickly changed his vote to "yes."

"He did it again," someone said amid laughter.

Reid, who spent months persuading fellow senators to vote "yes" on President Obama's top domestic priority, made the same mistake December 24 when voting on the original health care bill. [Ed. note: Remember that?]

His office said Reid made the gaffe because he was so focused on getting health care passed.

Exactly! He was so focused on passing health care he made multiple attempts to stop health care from passing.

Wasn't that the Democratic strategy all along?

March 25 at 4:44PM

Let's Play More "Domestic Terrorism or Patriotic Protestation?"

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

It's time for another All American round of "Domestic Terrorism or Patriotic Protestation?"!

See if you can guess whether this news item is reporting on a genuinely disturbing incident of the use of violence, threats and destruction of property being used to intimidate and coerce for political overtly purposes, or if it's simply a case of concerned citizens showing their disappointment with their elected officials…

"So, if you wish to send a message that Pelosi and her party [that they] cannot fail to hear, break their windows," [57-year-old former militiaman from Alabama Mike] Vanderboegh wrote on the blog, Sipsey Street Irregulars. "Break them NOW. Break them and run to break again. Break them under cover of night. Break them in broad daylight. Break them and await arrest in willful, principled civil disobedience. Break them with rocks. Break them with slingshots. Break them with baseball bats. But BREAK THEM."

In the days that followed, glass windows and doors were shattered at local Democratic Party offices and the district offices of House Democrats from Arizona to Kansas to New York. At least 10 Democratic lawmakers reported death threats, incidents of harassment or vandalism at their offices over the past week, and the FBI and Capitol Police are offering lawmakers increased protection.

This is a little bit trickier than the last one, but give it a moment and see if you can solve it. Answer after the jump…

Read more »

March 25 at 3:10PM

Americans Still Concerned About Barack Obama's Possible Ties to Satan

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

According to a new poll from Harris Interactive, American are still Americans

Americans have some extreme views of President Obama, with a new controversial survey suggesting that 40 percent of adults believe he is a socialist, and about a quarter of survey participants thinking the president is a racist, anti-American and even doing things Hitler did.

A racist, anti-American Nazi? Snooze! You'd better do better than that America is you wanna shock me into fearful dismay…

14 percent of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist.

Head, explode, skull shrapnel, brain mist.

Take a moment and just try and wrap your exploded brain about that one for a moment. Think about how, for every 100 people you see during the day, 14 of those people are worried that Barack Obama might maybe be this poorly-defined mythological character that someone who we can't even really identify wrote about in some letters a couple thousand years ago.

Of course, that's not completely right either. It can be a lot less than 14 people, or a lot more, depending upon the political breakdown of where you live in the country…

When split by political party, 24 percent of Republicans and 6 percent of Democrats viewed the nation's leader in this way.

A quarter people who identify themselves as Republicans. That's one out of four. You can't find one out of four people who can locate Indonesia (a.k.a., where Barack Obama was borne of a jackal) on a map of the world. And yet one out of four Republicans think that all the facts aren't in yet about the possibility our President is the offspring of Satan with magical evil powers and herald of the End of Days.

And, hey, Democrats aren't off the stupid hook for only having a whole fucking 6 percent who believe this nonsense. I'm sure that the reason a lot of them aren't worried about Obama maybe being the Antichrist is that they're much more concerned that his chakra hasn't traveled far enough into Capricorn's cusp for his emgrams to be fully acupunctured homeopathically.

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