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My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I'm taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out.
When I'm finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain't none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl.
Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he's freaking out 'cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister's bedroom across the hall.
Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he's filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people.
I'm standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths.
TL;DR Beagle cross leaped into the toilet, got covered in my diarrhea, smeared it all around the house, my six sisters gave me hell.
EDIT: Holy shit, thanks for the gold!! Makes all this worth it and definitely a story for the grandkids!
EDIT 2: Keep seeing the same comments, so gonna put some answers here
The bathroom door weren’t all the ways open, just about an inch at most. I closed it most of the way after my dog came in, but didn't click it shut so he just used his nose to open it. I had the decency to close the door after.
I’m male and from Alabama (North east), and I’m sorry for how I write. I just write how I speak and grammar never really was my strong point.
My toilet paper is in a cabinet opposite the toilet, so I wasn’t walking around butt naked in my house. All I had to do was stand on up, waddle three steps, and I was home free.
What I’ve taken away from this is I’m gonna be flushing the toilet more often when I’m having difficulties, and gonna be storing my paper underneath the sink next to the darn toilet within arm’s reach.
And finally, had some real nice comments about making everyone happy and I’m glad I could bring some enjoyment into your lives. I’m still in the doghouse, ain’t no doubt about that, but feels good to know I made some folks laugh.
My 7 year old daughter told me how cool tsunamis are and wish one would hit our town. I told her they are terrible and told her about the one in Japan in 2011 and how it had killed around 20,000 people. She didn't believe me so I showed her a video on YouTube of a Japanese town getting obliterated by one. She freaked out, started screaming. We live by the sea and she is now convinced one will hit our town. The swell is quite big at the moment and you can hear the waves crashing from our house and it's freaking her out. Like a good big sis she told my 3 year old how we're all going to die, which freaked her out. I've had nearly 6 hrs of crying and screaming. They've made a camp on the top bunk and have been there for 2 hrs. Quiet at the moment...I'm resisting the urge to shout "tsunami!!!"....
EDIT: Thanks for all the posts, this really exploded. I understand this got pulled earlier so not sure if you'll see this....probably those terrible incest posts. You'll be pleased to know there were no tsunamis today. For those wanting to know where we are in New Zealand. These were the videos I showed her:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MFmQYUbIz0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xKMFzKOIfQ
EDIT 2: Can't believe this made the front page!
I thought boiling water and dish washing liquid with a quick spin would clean it in a jiffy. What actually happened was the soap expanded so rapidly it burst the lid off and like the eruption of Vesuvius, it rained hell from the sky. I had to hide under a table.
So a few hours ago I downloaded Pokemon GO (I live in New Zealand) and enjoyed walking around my city collecting items from Pokestops/ capturing Pokemon etcetera, before going home. Around half an hour ago I decided to leave my house and skate around my suburb to see if I could catch any interesting Pokemon, or gain some cool items. About 5 minutes into skating slowly down the footpath my board is blocked by an uneven surface and I go flying across it with my phone. More worried about making a painful landing, I let go off my phone and try to cushion the landing with my hands, but because my reaction time is just as fast as a sloths my face planted the same time my hands reached the pavement. My phone was also thrown directly into the ground, which cracked the screen. Now i'm at home typing this up from my laptop because my phone won't do what I want it to do.
TL;DR - Wanted to catch 'em all, ended up catching my fall (Sorta), oh, and breaking my phone.
Reddit, my body betrayed me.
You know how sometimes you have those dreams where you use the toilet.... and then you wake up and luckily they didn't come true? Well I wasn't so lucky.
This morning, around 5am, I woke up with a strange feeling as though I had just peed. I snuck a hand down there to check, and yup, at 24 years old, I wet the bed.
If I were in my own bed it would be no big deal. But I had stayed the night at my boyfriend's, and he was in the bed next to me. So I did what any mortified girl would do, and panic-messaged my best friend.
After about half an hour of stressing about what to do, I finally woke him up, confessed, and burst into tears. After his initial horror, he was very understanding and we got up and changed the sheets (after a long series of terrible puns, i.e. he said he's not pissed off -_- )
My boyfriend and I are regulars at this bar/restaurant in Austin. One day we went in there and had quite a few drinks. I had to pee pretty bad and when the person came out of the stall I ran in and just sat quickly. Usually I don't sit on public toilets unless I know it's a nice place and (usually) always clean. Well I sit down and feel something squish under me. In shock I stood quick and looked down... Someone shit ON the seat. I'm also not talking like a solid shit... This was like a soft serve shit. As I stood up, it went all down INTO my pants, all over my legs etc. I freaked out.. I wiped it up the best I could while gagging and had to walk through the f*n restaurant probably smelling horrible to the front to get my boyfriend. He saw me and immediately knew something was wrong. I dragged him into a stall with me and he had to ask the bartender for wet wipes. I was mortified... Obviously everyone thought I shit myself. I had to throw out the pants I was wearing and wear my boyfriends pants. He wore his sweatshirt as pants home.
All in all...I never go back there.. But I have a good boyfriend, and also ALWAYS LOOK AT THE TOILET BEFORE YOU SIT. NO MATTER WHAT.
I was out with a few friends last night for my 22nd birthday, we decided to head to a bar. I was walking along a canal with my girlfriend and another of our friends when we see a guy climbing from balcony to balcony that was overhanging the canal. We tried calling out to him but he seemed too drunk to notice. We stayed and watched and suddenly he dropped into the canal. I immediately started running to help him. I throw my wallet and phone on the top of the step going down to a grass area so I could jump in if needed. Luckily we got the attention of more people and managed to get a safety ring to one of them. Unfortunately when I went back to my phone and wallet someone had taken them both. I eventually managed to track the phone down with findmyiphone and the help of the police but the wallet seems to be gone forever.
Edit: Someone handed my wallet into the police station, I assume it has no cash left I in it but will be glad to get anything left. Edit 2: Wallet returned without the cash as expected but nothing overly much to worry about. Edit 3: Yup should have gave my stuff to gf or friend, and all cards have been cancelled and the bank notified.
Got hit by someone on the way to church today. Got out, and immediately APOLOGIZED for the accident taking place. He takes advantage of it, tries to convince me it was my fault, and almost gets me to pay for paint remover for him, even though my car had *far worse damage. I leave, and only afterwards do I learn it was not my fault at all, that I am a complete idiot, and that I should have called the cops immediately and gotten all of his information instead of being an apologetic wreck and being afraid to demand for his info because I thought I was somehow at fault.
tl;dr I am too naive to be an adult, please help me
Edit: This is my first post to get anywhere near over 100 up votes to my knowledge, so this is blowing me away a bit. Thank you all for your kindness and advice, I will take it to heart and make sure to keep my head level in a similar situation in the future!
Edit 2: I am not Canadian! I was born and bred in the southern US, currently residing in Louisiana :)
*For all wondering how bad the damage actually was, it turns out that I had panicked and thought the damage was much worse than it was. In the end I am just left with a gash where the paint is gone in my bumper, but beyond that it isn't broken or dented (like I thought it was). I am incredibly blessed that that was all it was! (For the record, though, my car is still worse for it than the other guy's!)
Happened 2 days ago, been a long time lurker and made an account just for this. Basically I'm on leave before I start my new job. Since my wedding is coming up real soon I thought I'd be productive and go shopping for furniture for the fiance before she moves in.
So I decide to buy a DOMBÅS 3 door wardrobe which comes in 2 packages, one about 40kg and the other about 47kg. I didn't take it as a warning when I was struggling to carry both onto the trolley. (thanks to how massive the packages were)
And to cut a long story short, as I was carrying one of the packages to the car, it slipped from my hands because I was basically gripping it stupidly, and slammed into my right toe. Fracturing it, and ruining all my plans for the next few weeks. I may potentially still be hobbling when it's time to go for our pre-wedding photoshoot.
TLDR: Went to Ikea along, dropped 40kg worth of furniture on right big toe and ruined all my plans for the next few weeks.
Edit: Wow, did not expect this to hit front page! The conversations here are amazing!
I had to put my dog/best friend of 14 years down a month ago. To say it was traumatic is an understatement. He was ornery, barked at everyone, peed on everything, and absolutely hates my husband's feet. But he was loyal to me and I had him since he was a pup so I put up with him.
So today I was at work, I do scheduling and insurance authorizations for an outpatient diagnostic imaging department at a hospital, and I heard some heavy breathing behind me as I was walking to the cafeteria.
I turned around and it was two Bernese Mountain dogs. The hospital volunteers have therapy dogs that make the rounds and offer support with pet/touch therapy. Me being the dog lover that I am I ask if I can give them some belly rubs.
And I immediately start bawling my eyes out! I'm a 34 year old Army Vet for goodness sake and I can't keep it together long enough to give tummy rubs! The two volunteers are absolutely stunned. They just looked at each other in total bewilderment while I'm on my knees in the middle of a hospital walkway with patients and hospital staff passing me by and I'm clutching onto this giant dog saying "I'm so sorry" in between sobs.
The volunteers start fumbling for words "Can we call someone for you?" "What department do you work in?" "Do you know this woman?"
I sense that I'm drawing a crowd and get off the floor while muttering apologies and run to the nearest elevator. Everyone just stands there, exchanging looks like they can't believe what they just witnessed. Needless to say I won't be going to the cafeteria anytime soon.
TL;DR Had to put my dog down, lost my sh*! Over a therapy dog, and scared the bejesus out of their handlers and a crowd of people.
UPDATE
So I went to bed after reading a few comments thinking how nice it is to know I'm not the only one who's made a fool of themselves in public over a fur baby. I figured I'd get a few more upvotes, a troll would eventually call me out for my service (honestly not much service, went to a bunch of schools, broke my ankle on a 15k road march and got discharged), and that would be the end of it.
Now I'm at work with my brand new Game of Thrones lunch bag - Winter is coming? Oh heck no, Winter is HERE! - and HOLY COW!!! I never expected this kind of response. I can't stop smiling knowing this has touched others. You guys have bolstered my courage enough that I'm going to stop by the volunteer auxiliary desk and try to explain what happened.
Also, my husband is taking me to a local humane society shelter today after work to see some pups. He knows full and well that I may have another outburst but at least I'll know it's coming. If we find a bond with a dog then we'll adopt. If we don't then we're going to sponsor one and cover their adoption fee. We also plan to sponsor one dog a month in memory of my little guy.
Thanks again to everyone!
Update Meet Arcadia
Lets get right into it. I was home alone and decided it was a convenient time to have some fun. I had heard my friends talking about the “mattress baggie” masturbation trick. To sum it up quickly, you put on a condom and penetrate the spot between the mattress and box spring. Sounds weird, I know.
Anyways, so I decided to give it a try but my bed was way too low. On the other hand, my sister’s bed was the perfect height. There was no turning back and I went forward with it. It was amazing and I went to bed afterwards, waking up two hours later to the sound of my mother and father screaming. They were in my little sister’s room so I ran over and that’s when I realized what had happened. My mom was holding a cum filled condom that she found on my sisters dresser. That’s when I realized I had forgotten to clean up. My father got a baseball bat and was heading towards the neighbors house. They were undergoing construction and my parents came up with the thought that one of the contractors snuck into our house and masturbated in my little sisters room.
That’s when I had to explain everything to them. It was the most awkward moment of my life and I’m literally cringing while typing this. Imagine telling your parents that you just masterbated with a condom in your little sisters room (I left out the fact that I just fucked a mattress). Needless to say, we never spoke about it again.
TL;DR masturbated with a condom in my little sisters room and parents almost called the cops
Edit 1: no i'm not a pedo. My sisters been staying at my grandmothers house for over a year. Room is practically empty.
Edit 2: Popular question, my little sister is staying at my grandmothers house because she has special needs and my parents work forces them to move a lot.
Edit 3: The infamous drawer in my sisters room is visible as you walk past the room. I'm guessing they noticed the condom on top of it while walking by to their room.
Edit 4: Yes, I know I fucked up badly by forgetting to cleanup. After I finished, I put the cum filled condom on top of the drawer to go wash my genitals. The plan was to dispose of it afterwards. I don't know how the fuck I forgot. It was my first time masterbating with a condom.
So today we find roach droppings on the counter top of our new apartment. (I posted about the terrible decision of selecting this place the other day on tifu but it was removed.)
I decide to check the tops of the cabinets as they may be home to these bastards. I climb on top of the counters by the sink to take a look, and everything is good just a bit of dust but no droppings. Well my kitchen is like a rectangular shape and in order to check the other cabinet tops I need to get around the stove and the stove hood...
At this point I have two options I can try and walk around the stove or I can get down and climb up on the other side. My lazy butt decides to just try and wiggle to the other side.
I go to step around the stove and my stomach hits the corner of the over hood. I lose my balance and I am falling with my neck aimed right for the countertop corner. In my head I am thinking I am going to die, all because I was too lazy and too fat to get down and climb back up.
That is when my wife comes and saves my life! She tackles me as I am falling and catches my 250 lbs butt with her shoulder and face. She tilts me so that I fall with her to the floor instead of breaking my neck on the countertop. I scratched my arm on the fall and twisted my leg, but she took the most damage as her face is swollen and she has a black eye.
Tldr: forced my wife to save my life and it broke her face.
Edit: image of kitchen https://imgur.com/a/4Iwos
This morning I was driving to work in a happy mood since it is pay day. I was in a rush and was pulled over for speeding in a zone that was being prepared for construction. Thinking I could lighten the mood, I remembered Gabriel Iglesias' special and threw on Bad Boys. The officer came up to the car, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "so you think you're funny, huh?" (In a very humorous tone I might add) . I completely misread that, thinking he's seen the comedy special, and responded with a sarcastic yes (more like a flamboyant "absolutely"). The cop takes my info and comes back with a max fine ticket, and tells me to get on my way.
TL;DR Played Bad Boys to a cop during a traffic stop and basically negated payday with my new ticket.
MEGA EDIT: Since some people aren't understanding this all correctly, I will explain some more. I get that I was in the wrong, I'm not fighting to get the ticket off completely, I'm fighting to have the ticket reduced from a double fine. The "construction zone" rule should not have been enforced because it was not in the time parameter. Yes, I should be fined $150 for speeding, I am fine with that. No, he should not have issued me a $300 ticket for speeding in a construction zone. I called the police headquarters and just got out of a meeting with the sheriff and my cousin (who is an officer in the same department) and they agree with me, the evidence is on my side. I don't hate construction workers and I was not trying to be an ass, I was going the flow of traffic. This argument is taking away from the original intent of the post, and yes, he did appreciate the song after the fact, but me playing the song took me from a warning to a ticket as well ($25 infraction for the song)
Wow front page! Guess it was worth it to get ticketed 😂
Here I am at 12:59 am making coffee. Why? Because today I was so excited to have Ovaltine, that I forgot my morning caffeine intake and since I drank water for the rest of the day (the convenient work coffee machine not being close at hand), my body rebelled. My head started hurting this afternoon and by evening was absolutely raging. I raced home, trying to make it to my own personal toilet before vomiting from the pain. That didn't occur. Twice. Side of the road. Sorry potential future neighbors or friends. I cancelled my awesome go out tonight plans, took some headache meds, fell asleep, and then woke up with the head still wanting to kill me. I took some more excedrin to no avail. Then it dawned on me. Coffee! Now I'm sipping it and can feel the tension and pain draining from my body. Damn you liquid joy!
This happened August of last year.
This all started when I was working for a construction company picking and delivering materials. I got a call from my boss asking me to check his house every morning while he was out of the country. I go to check on his house and pick up his mail when I get a call from my friend. He asks me if I can take him to the mall, I said sure since I had to go that way to pick up material. I pick him up and he asks me to take him to a bank that's close the mall so that he can give me money for gas, I was ok with that and we proceed to go to the bank. When we were getting close to the bank he asked me to park on the building next to the bank (which I thought was suspicious but didn't give it a second thought) he goes in the bank and comes out in less than a minute. I tell him " that was fast" and he replied " I know, there wasn't a line" so I just drove. Two blocks later he says "here" and tosses an envelope full of money. I parked in the nearest parking space and say wtf! I tell him to get out of the van and I started to panic, so I parked in a local supermarket and waited for the police to show. I see 10 cop cars pull up to the van and tell me to get out of the van. I did and I tried to explain that I didn't know what happened and that I wasn't involved but they still arrested me and got booked in. An hour later him and his brother get booked in also. Days passed and I finally talk to the investigator. He says that a note and the money were found in the van I was driving and that I took him there and that looks bad. I tried to explain my side of the story and he asks why I dropped him off and not called 911. I told him the truth that I panicked and didn't know what to do but wait. That night I get sent to county jail and spent the next 90 day there. I got 5 years deferred adjudication because "the evidence were stacked against me"
TL;DR: Got asked to take a friend to the bank, the robbed the bank and I spent 3 months in jail.
Update: I checked the public records and the guy who robbed the bank only got 7 years deferred adjudication! His brother who picked him up without knowing of the robbery his still going to court, the bank robber might have thrown his innocent brother under the bus!
This is an AMA I did a while back
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/4lyd05/i_robbed_a_bank_lets_get_this_started/
My semester was going good and I was passing all my subjects then halfway through my grandmother died, because of this I found it really hard to concentrate and fell behind in my classes and ended up failing a semester.
Now I got an email saying that I have to withdraw from the faculty of science, I only needed 4 more courses to get my BSc. I am now preparing to submit an appeal and explain situation in 300 words.
TL;DR: My life just got screwed, grandmother died, failed classes and forced to withdraw from univeristy with a mountain of debt and several wasted years of my life. Trying to submit an appeal.
I was working in my shop making a cut I've made 100's of times. I f'ed up by using a dull blade and putting my hand over the blade when making the cut.
So I was making a groove cut with a 1/4" wide dado blade that was 1/2" above the table. Cutting a groove on a 1" wide board. Push stick in my right hand. None in my left. My left hand was guiding the front of the board. Near the middle of the cut, the board kicked back and my finger dropped onto the blade.
Could have been prevented if I followed my own safety rules about not putting my hand over top of the blade. Also could have been prevented if I had a SawStop table saw.
My wound is 1/4" wide and 3/8"-1/2" deep in the left side of my middle finger between the first and second knuckle. Bone is exposed. Doctor and hand surgeon seems to think it will heal fine. We shall see. The Wound
Hey folks, it's the same guy who wrote "TIFU by swearing at some deaf people". I'm pretty new to this subreddit, and the more I read these, the more I recall some of my worst fuck ups...
This one happened when I was in fourth grade. I was a scrappy little kid with a terrible case of rage fueled little-man syndrome that I've since gotten rid of. I did a bit of threatening, but not a whole lot of actual fighting back in those days, but occasionally my threats would get me in trouble. This was one such instance.
There was this fat kid in my class, let's call him Paul, who was a total asshat. The kid loved to bully everyone, and thus he had no friends (I mean, if you're gonna bully, you might as well have a little crew that runs around with you, without that it's not much fun, and you end up like Paul). Me and him got in an argument one day, I think it was over who was going to use the pencil sharpener first. Anyways, I decided to bare my teeth and threaten him with a chomp, but he didn't move out of the way as fast I expected him to, and I ended up biting right into this dude's floppy right tit as he was moving to the side. This evoked a loud scream from him, which called attention from the entire class to the situation immediately. Needless to say, I was sent to the principal's office, I got suspended, my brother thought it was the funniest thing on God's green earth, and I was forever known as the kid who got a mouthful of Paul. We actually ended up having an awkward meeting with him and his parents later, which was fun. It's hard to come up with a rational sounding reason for almost biting your son's right nipple off his chest.
TL;DR: almost bit a kid's nipple off while arguing over a pencil sharpener, gained school-wide recognition for it
I was out on the balcony with few friends drinking and chilling. My balcony door is kind of broken and screwy. I try to go inside to grab more alcohol but failed to realize the door wasn't open and i face-planted straight into it. The force of the crash was enough to get the door to latch locking me and my 4 drunk friends out in a small balcony at 3am in the morning. Oops
This actually happened a year ago. I was a newly graduated college student and had credit card I couldn't pay. Needless to say they took me to court and we had been going back and fourth for months. Anyway, I recently bought a car since I needed one to get a better job. I should also mention that this was my first car and I was a new driver despite my age.
Anyway, the first fuck up was when I decided to not show up to court early but put it off till the last minute since my apartment was just "10 minutes away". However I did not calculate how full the parking garage was and i couldn't find a spot, and since I was running short on time i drove in reverse and came at a spot at a bad angle.
I was completely absentminded and drove over the parking cement, then i panicked hit the gas and crashed completely into the cement wall. Luckily there was an officer right by me who was trying his hardest not to laugh his ass of lol. Anyway they couldn't get real towing truck into the garage so they had to tow my car with a truck and chain and it costed me $150 despite the fact they just needed to tow it a few feet since the bumbper was propped up on the wall and the wheels weren't grounded.
After spending over an hour dealing with the tow people and the officer, and finally showed up to court completely suspecting to be screwed. Oddly enough I arrived 3 minutes before I was called upon much to the annoyance of the opposing lawyer.
TL,DR: Decided to go to court late, crashed my car into a parking lot garage, somehow still made it to court on time.
A little background: Just moved to a new city, got a job I was pumped for, and a new apartment downtown. A friend in town graduated from law school that weekend too so I was excited to celebrate all of this growing up shit.
We start drinking at 2 after his graduation ceremony, and his parents take us out for dinner: whiskey wine and lobster. Thanks law school.
So the night goes as planned and we all get very drunk. Charles Barkley level shit. I made friends with a girl at the bar and ended up leaving the rest of the group. It's 2am and we walk out of the bar. That's where it all ends.
I wake up naked in the lobby of my apartment building with nothing but my socks and a blanket on me. I'm in complete shock. Completely fucking naked in the lobby. I go into panic mode. No wallet, no keys, no phone, no idea why the fuck I'm laying naked in front of the apartment lobby elevators.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Confused. Scared. Naked.
With zero idea what time it is or what to do, I take a peep outside to figure out how much time I have to get a game plan. It's pitch black, I figure it's 4 am. So I find this little corner of the lobby where no one will see me and sleep there, just praying I don't get found and consequently kicked out of the building.
I wake up and take another look outside. With the sun out, it might have been 6 or 7. Perfect time to meet the neighbors.
I knock on the door and brace myself for the most shame I've felt in a while. Its Janine, the sweetest 85 year old woman you'll ever meet. 'Nice to meet you Janine. I'm your neighbor and I'm in a bit of a pickle.' After some convincing, she lets me hang out in her apartment and call maintenance to unlock my door, all while I'm wrapped in a small blanket like a taquito.
Janine and I watch good morning America until maintenance shows up. The service guy shows up and clearly expresses his disappointment in the millennial generation. I don't care as much, I'm just anxious to see the wreckage in my apartment.
He opens the door and everything is in perfect condition. Not one thing out of place. Even my clothes from last night were folded and hung up in the closet.
EDIT: Yes my keys, wallet, and phone were all sitting on the table when I got back in. No clues to anything on the phone though
TL;DR: Blacked out, got naked and slept in the lobby.
UPDATE: never got that girls number because it turns out she has had a boyfriend for months and just forgot to mention that.
This TIFU actually happened today at work.
I work as a chemical worker at a company who sells expensive paint. We are the guys who mix chemical components to get the right color and other specific properties.
The TIFU was, now that I think about it, not even only my fault but still my boss thinks so.
I was synthesizing some chemicals in a 15.000L tank and had to take a sample of the product.
Note: The product has to be 100% white
This would have been the last thing on my list to finish the day. As I went to the device for extracting samples I noticed it wasn't there. Someone assembled it and forgot to install it again.
I asked my boss what to do and he said I should extract the sample manual through the manhole (big opening of the tank). The manhole is most of the time closed because we change the pressure in the tank often + that nothing can contaminate the white product.
This is where I fucked up - after opening the manhole I had to get a hose for the exhaust air, because of the poisonous gas that could now exit the tank. As I hung the tube above the hole some violet water ran down into the manhole, repainting the whole product (12.000L) into a pinkish color. Of cause I got yelled at, because the paint was worth 1.6 million euro. Hope that I don't get fired...
TL;DR: TIFU by accidentally reprinting white paint worth of 1.6M €
The title says it all. It happened yesterday July 6. I was at work all ready for 2 hours and me and a coworker were splitting wood with a giant wood splitter and then I dont really how it happened because it was so fast. But I felt something not pain or anything just something different. I looked down and saw my fingers were gone. I then began yelling and ran over to my bosses. They asked what was wrong and I showed them. They told me to sit down and told my coworker to grab my fingers over at the woodsplitter. they were still in the finger parts of the glove. We then put them on ice and my hand on ice. One of my bosses took me to the local hospital. I was there for about an hour or more. I was then transferred to one of the best hospitals in the country. Barns Jewish hospital. They kept telling me they had the best surgeons for this and if there was any chance of reattaching them it would be here, So a couple hours go by I get xrays and all that doctors talk to me. They say its a super clean cut and no bone fragments. Then the next hour one of the doctors comes back in and says it will be best without them. I really didnt want to hear that but that was that. so then a hour later I went into surgery. I also went home that night. So now its wrapped up and i hope my fingers dont end up really ugly. I can post a picture of them before surgery if you guys want dont know if im allowed to. (NSFL) Pic The nurse said do you want me to take some pictures and I said yes. She then said hold up your hand like you're doing the peace sign, because when you go to school youll have a great story to tell with a picture and you'll have your fingers. But I dont have my fingers. LogSplitter Heres a picture of what the log splitter looks like except this one is much more new.
So heres a little more detail about the story since people keep asking: 1.The first hospital was less than five minutes away. But its like a small regional one they cant do much there besides give you medicine and get you stable. 2.When I first cut my Fingers off we didnt put them directly on ice we put them in a plastic bag first. 3.No I DID NOT get them reattached because they said my index finger would be in the way since it would be limp. And If I did get them reattached I would have had to stay five nights at the hospital and see if it actually lived. The surgeons who operated on me are the guys who write the books for this kind of stuff. So if my fingers would of lived after being reattached they said my hand would have babied those two fingers and that there would then be a chance of my hand going stiff. 4. The people I worked for was just a couple with a small business.
TL;DR. Basically I chopped my right index and middle finger off on a wood splitter.
Edit 1: added picture of hand Edit 2: added picture of log splitter Edit 3: added "TL;DR." Edit 4: added (NSFL) Edit 5: added details
Obligatory this happened just minutes ago.
So a little backstory, a week ago the water company cut our water supply because of suspicious illegal water jumping. But there was still a functional faucet in our nearby canteen. So everyday we basically hook up a hose in their faucet, all the way to our house, to fill the buckets will water. This is pure torture, i hope they resupply us again.
Enough with the backstory, so just today all the buckets are now empty, so we have to the hard task...as usual
Everything's normal as usual. Then i had the sudden urge to poop, so i did. But then i thought, "Wouldn't it be easier to wash my ass with this hose?" Oh well it did do the deed, but unknowingly water stopped flowing. I didn't mind this and proceeded to put my shorts back on. Then as i exit the bathroom, here comes the fuckup. The extension hose fucking disconnected; water was flooding all over the room, everything started to get wet. That was why the water stopped flowing. A simple asswash turned into a floody nightmare. Oh my dad was REAL ANGRY, not the normal, "FUCK." angry, it was the kind of angry where you'd kill your own son. It took us an hour to drain all the water, till now we're still drying the floors with electric fans, hopefully all this wetness goes out.
I just can't believe i fucked up this bad. Now everything is wet, my bed, my notebooks, some clothes.
TL;DR asswash from a hose turned to floodswash to the room
Edit: misspelled words. DAMN FAT FINGERS! Edit 2: RIP Inbox.
This actually happened yesterday. Anyways..
I had work early in the morning and I had enough time to browse the Reddit app before heading out the door.
Note: Canada has shitty phone plans and I only have 300mb of data, therefore I rely heavily on WiFi.
I leave the house without closing the app, thus having it run in the background in my pocket unknowingly to me. I get to work, then my phone buzzes to let me know I've reached my data limit for the month. MY MONTHLY DATA CYCLE JUST STARTED YESTERDAY! Now I'm stuck the whole month (till August 9) without data, and I was gonna go out and find Pokemon with a bunch of friends the next day.
So a whole month of Pokemon GO playtime just went down the drain in 20 minutes. I'm Dying
Edit: A few clarifications:
1) I'm in Alberta with Virgin Mobile with the GOLD 50 plan @ $50.00/MO for everyone asking. I don't have the luxury to pay higher atm. Wind was my first option but service sucks in my region and their unlimited data is not all that. I might change carriers eventually.
2) It was the Reddit app NOT Pokemon GO that drained all my data, please read the post.
Use Google to download Pokemon GO for Android in Canada, its really not that hard to find..
Edit 2: Since everyone is ripping my current plan a new one in the comments, I've called Virgin Mobile to ask if something can be done about my current plan, and I actually negotiated a new plan with Unlimited Minutes + 3GB for $65/MO. It's not bad considering its a 900% increase in data from my old plan. Thanks for the peer pressure Reddit.