Red Folder

Loneliness and minimal social support. Students may be coming to campus without robust social support networks that are commonly present in “normal” years. After a year of isolation, communities have not had the opportunity to take shape, or maybe some have even disintegrated due to distance. Many folks haven’t found their people, and paradoxically, many are feeling like they’re the only one feeling this way. Creating spaces for meaningful connections between students and prioritizing community will be a priority for all of us in the coming years. More details on loneliness and connection here. 

Entering an unpredictable period of transition. Yes, these last 18 months have been brutal, and unexpected change continues to be the only constant. Students know that ”everything is different”, but how will it impact their lives? How will all this change affect their time at Stanford, goals for the future, personal, career, and otherwise? Depending on when the pandemic hit a student’s career, many students are feeling the need to make up for lost time and opportunities that are only available to them while at Stanford. They may be feeling that they aren’t doing enough, striving to engage in numerous ways throughout our communities, but also challenged to experience balance, and the necessary rest that is needed. While many things are looking up the world is still saturated with tragedy and devastation. It’s hard to feel safe and secure when so much around us remains unknown. Balancing hope and lingering uncertainty will be an ongoing challenge for us all. 

Recovering from a collective trauma. We have all changed, and it’ll take some time for us to feel comfortable in many situations, or even in our own skin. We have been presented with unexpected challenges that we were not prepared for, all while also stripping us of the social support we would usually rely on in trying times. While many of us are now too familiar with scarcity mindset, environmental insecurity, social instability, and pessimism about the future, the presence and magnitude of these challenges will not be equitable among students. We need to be intentional about restoring our energy, rebuilding our mental health and well-being, while crucially keeping in mind disparate impacts of the pandemic on student communities, and directing our energies in ways so that all students can flourish here at Stanford.

Tell them right from the start. Tell them explicitly, and show them through your actions, that you both care about their well-being and want them to get the support they need while at Stanford. Take the time during your first interaction with students to acknowledge this strange and difficult time we continue to be in, and that you know they are struggling with many challenges. Make sure to highlight that you are a source of support for them, and how they can connect with you when they need.

Talk about the challenges we’re all experiencing
• Don't ignore the obvious. Talk about losses that COVID has brought us, the isolation and feelings of loneliness, the dual pandemic of pervasive social injustices, and the anxieties of reintegrating into a “new normal”. While this past year has given us opportunities to have these emotionally heavy conversations, being allowed to show their whole, imperfect selves in academic settings can have a huge positive impact on students' well-being.
• Humanize the situation. We’re coming off an unprecedented year in which the separation of our personal and professional lives decreased dramatically. Your professionalism and status does not suffer from allowing students to understand your life outside of Stanford; quite the opposite. Consider sharing how you’ve coping during this time, what challenges you’ve faced, and any hope you have for the months and years ahead.
• Be flexible. Of course you will continue to challenge students intellectually, while simultaneously understanding that sufficient emotional support is the critical foundation from which learning occurs. We’ve all learned that students need more support from us than ever, and importantly, that support we give them only enhances their ability to engage academically. Be patient with students, and yourselves, as we continue to figure out what we all need during this year of transition and continuing uncertainty.

Make space for well-being
• Be Proactive. Have conversations about well-being with students early and often. This normalizes the process of accessing help and prioritizing our well-being. Ask students what kind of support they need from you. This is an opportunity for you to establish norms of open communication and create psychological safety for students.
• Create space/time for emotional expression. Your role is to be a warm, supportive presence for students who are struggling. Allow students to connect with each other and share what they’ve been feeling, and when possible, integrate the intellectual and emotional selves in the classroom.
• Practice self-care (and talk about it!). Supporting students' well-being can take a toll on our own. If this happens, please do what you need to recover and recharge. When students see you practicing self-care, or when you talk to them about it, they realize that their community supports and prioritizes self-care. Remember that the Faculty Staff Help Center is available to you as a confidential resource to support your mental health and well-being.
• Instill hope. You’re in a powerful position, and what you say greatly impacts students. Levity and hope bolster our spirits during difficult times. When appropriate, create space for humor, share uplifting news, and model realistic optimism.

Facilitate connection
• Connect them to other support resources. You are a wonderful first source of support for students, but you shouldn’t do it alone. Stanford is full of resources dedicated to student mental health and well-being. Connect students to these resources to supplement the support you’re already providing.
• If possible, connect with students individually.  It can be difficult to gauge how students are faring without seeing them in person, or only seeing them in a group context. Connect to students one-on-one when possible, and try out modes of private conversation that work for you. This creates a safe space for students to share their struggles with you.
• Connect students to each other. When feasible, offer students an opportunity to connect with each other outside of class. Students will likely still be feeling isolated and lonely even when on campus. Classroom peer-to-peer  interactions provide structured and safe social opportunities for students to connect and expand their community outside of their residence. Consider utilizing pair and small group work throughout the year.

Be direct. Let the student know that you've noticed a change and you want to talk. Say what you've noticed, and avoid making any judgement or assumptions. Start this conversation in a setting where the student will feel safe to be open and honest with you. Follow-up with your Resident Directors (for undergrads), Graduate Life Office Dean (for graduate and professional students), or the Office of Postdoctoral Affairs (for postdoc trainees) if you still have concerns..

Everyone is distressed. Operate under the assumption that anyone you’re interacting with is experiencing significant challenges and feeling distressed, whether they’re showing it or not. Err on the side of checking in with students frequently and warmly. We all could benefit from creating a culture of care in which we check-in with each other, acknowledge and make space for our whole, complex selves.

"Hi _____, I just wanted to check in. I've noticed _____, and wanted to see if you want to talk about it.”
“I’ve noticed _____ and I want you to know that I am here to support you.”
“You seem distracted today. What’s going on?”
“Hey. it seems like you're having a hard time. I am here to support you if you want to talk about it.”

Causes of Distress

Be warm. We all need to know others care about us. Showing you care about a student's well-being can have a positive impact on their mental well-being, and increase the likelihood they seek help if needed. Warmth and psychological safety can be built through the words you use, the tone of your voice, body language, and more.

Build trust. Ask what they need. The kind of support a student needs will change based on the context, and the only way to know what they need from you is to ask. Your words are powerful. What you say and how you say it can signal to students not only that you care about them, but that you're also a safe person to reach out to.

"I care about your well-being, so I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing. I want to know how I can be the most helpful for you." 
“Thanks for taking some time to talk with me. I wanted to have this conversation because I care about how you’re doing and want you to know that I’m here to support you in the ways you need.”
“How can I be helpful?”

Be there to listen. Your priority is to provide a space for the student to speak and to be heard. They need you to be warm, compassionate, and fully present. Listen patiently as you try to understand where they're coming from, and take time to affirm their emotional experience. Your full presence in itself can be healing. 

Be curious. As an active listener, your job is to ask follow-up and open-ended questions that might help you understand the student, ensuring they feel heard. Most importantly, listen and let them speak. “Awkward” silences are often, actually, helpful silences that demonstrate both the safety of your presence and your willingness to be patient and giving with your time.

Share wisely. It's typically not helpful to share your experiences while a student is sharing theirs. Your primary role is to be present for the student, validate their experience, and connect them to additional support resources. Sometimes, usually after the student has finished sharing, it can be helpful for a student to hear about your own experiences with mental health and well-being, including positive interactions you've had with mental health resources.

Focus on listening. Optional questions/statements to deepen understanding.

"Wow, I'd like to hear more about that."
“I’m sorry, that seems like a difficult situation to be in, what is that like for you?”
"That sounds really hard, how is that affecting your life?”

Safety first. Do not hesitate to call Public Safety (911) for help. Your safety, and that of our students and community, is our top priority.

Consult. Call the Resident Directors, GLO Dean on-call, or CAPS for further consultation whenever you need. These resources can give you advice, or help take over a situation that has escalated and requires mobilization of many resources.

Set clear boundaries. Set boundaries around anything that helps to preserve your own mental well-being. You can’t give students the support they need if you are suffering. If a student starts treating you like a therapist then you’ve clearly done a good job of building rapport, but make sure you connect them to professional resources that can meet their needs. Students want to know what kind of support they can receive from you, and where they can go for more/different support. We want all our students to have many layers of emotional support instead of relying on just one individual to meet these needs.

Warmth. Your role is to be a warm, supportive presence for this student who is struggling. You’re not there to fix anything or give unsolicited advice. Acknowledge difficult emotions, and instill hope that, with help, things can get better.

Normalize help-seeking. College is challenging under normal circumstances, and the world keeps serving up new challenges. To get through it we all need multiple sources of support. One key way to support students is to normalize and encourage help-seeking. You can praise them for reaching out to you for help, or even talking about the importance of building a multi-layered support system in your own life. 

"I really appreciate you opening up to me..."
"I'm sorry you're going through this, and honored that you've been vulnerable with me...."
“It's ok to feel like this...”
“How can I be helpful? When I am struggling, turning to _______ for support is a helpful first step”

Determine need. Does the student need resources for social connection, specialized professional help, or is this an emergency?

Reaffirm your connection. Sometimes communicating to a student that they may benefit from professional help can feel like they are being passed off as a problem or burden. Prevent this by explicitly reaffirming your connection with them. For example, let them know you want to stay connected as they explore other resources.

Setting expectations about resources. Help the student be realistic about what to expect from the resource and on what timeline. No single  resource can meet all student needs. It often takes patience to access a resource, and persistence to experience the benefits. 

Help them connect to resources. Students in distress may need help connecting with a resource. Showing them how to access a resource increases the likelihood that they actually do. Help-seeking requires knowledge and skill sets that may be new to the student. Your help in demonstrating the help-seeking process teaches them what it’s actually like, and can build their confidence to do it on their own in the future. 

Follow-up. Reconnect with the student to make sure that they successfully connected with the resources that you suggested. This reminds them that you care about them, and helps you understand where they’re at in the process of building their support system.

Resource wasn’t what the student needed. This is a normal part of the process to get help. Ask follow-up questions to understand what about the resource didn’t fit their needs, and to determine which other resources may be a better fit.

Severity of situation unclear. It’s possible the severity of the situation won’t be obvious, and you won’t know which resource is the best fit. In that case always consult with a Resident Director, GLO Dean, CAPS, or the Office of Postdoctoral Affairs.

“Thank you for being so open with me. I want to continue this conversation, and I also want to make sure that you’re getting the help you need. I really think you may find ______ to be a very helpful and comforting resource.”
“Reaching out to ______ for the first time can be a little confusing. Would you like help connecting to ______ ?”
“I really think ________ can address some of your needs, but sometimes it takes several tries to find a place that is the best fit. For any reason if it doesn’t feel like a match, then ask what other resources may be a better fit for your needs.”

• Tip: Offering the name of someone from the resource can help the student to feel more comfortable when they reach out. 

FOR ALL EMERGENCY SITUATIONS:  Call 911 (9-911 from a university phone)

CR (Confidential Resource) is used below to identify resources that offer confidential support. 

• Resident Directors Available to help undergraduates 24/7 at 650.504.8022.
• GLO Dean on-call Available to help graduate and professional students 24/7 at 650.723.7288. Please provide pager ID number #25085 to the operator. 
• CAPS on-call Available for all students 24/7 at 650.723.3785. CR
• Confidential Support Team (CST) Available for all students impacted by sexual assault and relationship violence 24/7 at 650.725.9955. CR
• Vaden Medical Services Available for all students 24/7 at 650.498.2336. CR
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress at 800.273.8255. CR
• Crisis text hotline Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime. Crisis Text Line is here for any crisis. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all from our secure online platform. The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment.

Asian American Activities Center (A³C) builds a community of Asian and Asian American students, faculty, staff and alumni that fosters greater understanding and awareness of the Asian experience in America.

Bechtel International Center (Bechtel) supports the international student community, assisting with legal status, scholarships abroad, and nurturing cross-cultural relationships.

Black Community Services Center (BCSC) focuses on supporting the total advancement and excellence of Black students and Black student groups within the Stanford community. 

El Centro Chicano y Latino (El Centro) works to support Chicano and Latino students academically, personally, socially and culturally.

Hillel at Stanford (HIllel) empowers Jewish students at Stanford to explore and deepen their Jewish identities, and to envision their futures with choices inspired by Jewish values and commitments.

Office for Inclusion, Belonging and Intergroup Communication (IBIC) provides campus leadership for students, faculty and staff to consciously and actively affirm intersectional identities and foster intergroup relationships. Resources include experiential workshops, conflict navigation, staff training, and inclusion consulting.

Markaz Resource Center (The Markaz) supports a vibrant community of students who identify with or are interested in Muslim experiences both here and around the world. 

Native American Cultural Center (NACC) works to improve the quality of life for American Indians, Alaska Natives, Native Hawaiians and Indigenous Pacific Islanders. Our community reaches out to new students and their families to help them adjust to life at Stanford, and to help them realize goals and prepare for the future.

Queer Student Resources (QSR) is a community of students, university staff, and faculty working to make Stanford a place where people of all genders and sexualities can flourish.

First-Gen and/or Low Income (FLI) Office connects first-generation and/or low-income (FLI) students to resources, builds community and fosters a sense of belonging through mentorship and advocacy.

Women's Community Center (WCC) exists to facilitate growth and engagement for Stanford students around issues of gender, equity, identity, and justice.

CR (Confidential Resource) is used below to identify resources that offer confidential support. 

• Dean of Students Contact at 650.723.2733 to access any of the following resources for non-urgent matters:

        • Graduate Life Office (GLO)            • Office of Community Standards (OCS)

        • Residential Education (ResEd)     • Resident Directors

• Department of Public Safety (DPS) endeavours to be a consultative resource for all members of the community and can be reached  24/7 at 650.329.2413.

• Vaden Medical Services is the  first stop for all student medical care, including: diagnosis and treatment of illness, injury, and ongoing conditions, as well as for preventive counseling and education. Contact at 650.498.2336. CR

• Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) offers individual consults, skills workshops, process groups, seminars, psychiatry services, community referral resources, and crisis intervention. Contact CAPS at 650.723.3785. CR

• Confidential Support Team (CST) offers support to Stanford students impacted by sexual assault and relationship violence. Contact CST at 650.736.6933 or 24/7 (for urgent concerns) at 650.725.9955. CR

Sexual, Relationship, and Gender-based Violence (non-emergency resources)

• Confidential Support Team (CST) Contact at 650-725-9955 or vaden.stanford.edu/cst CR

• YWCA @ Stanford Contact at 800-572-2782 or yourywca.stanford.edu CR

•  SHARE Title IX Office Contact at 650-497-4955 or email.

• Office of Substance Use Programs Education and Resources (SUPER) aims to reduce high-risk alcohol and other drug use and related harms by enriching the social experience and providing collaborative, educational strategies and programs. Contact at 650.725.5947.

• Well-Being at Stanford advances student well-being through individual coaching, academic courses, consultations, trainings and workshops, and volunteer, internship and funding opportunities.

• Weiland Health Initiative promotes mental health and wellness across the spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations through education, training and clinical services at Stanford and beyond. CR

• Office of the Ombuds is available to all faculty, staff, postdocs, and students where all are welcome to discuss any concern that is interfering with their academic or work life. Contact Ombuds at 650.497.1542 CR

• Office for Religious and Spiritual Life (ORSL) offers pastoral care and spiritual guidance and can be reached at 650.723.1762. CR

• The Bridge Peer Counseling Center (The Bridge) offers peer counseling by trained students. Contact at 650.723.3392.

• SHARE Education Team promotes caring, empowered, and consensual relationships at Stanford. Contact SARA at (650) 725-1056 or email.

• Office of Accessible Education (OAE) provides a wide array of support services, accommodations, and programs to remove barriers to full participation in the life of the University. Contact OAE at 650.723.1066 or email

• Stanford Learning Lab supports learner variability within our student population through early screening measures designed to identify students strengths and preferences, learning variability that influence their initial experience at Stanford.

• Financial Aid Office (FAO) Contact at 650.723.3058 or email.

Academic Advising Resources

• For undergraduate students: VPUE Academic Advising Contact at 650.723.2426 or email.

• For graduate and professional students: VPGE Grad Advising Contact at 650.736.0775 or email. 

Postdoc Resources

• Office of Postdoctoral Affairs (OPA) is the support center for all aspects of personal and professional development and life at Stanford for postdoc trainees. Contact at 650.725.5075.

• Faculty Staff Help Center provides assistance for faculty, staff and postdocs. Contact at 650.723.4577 or email. CR

• Guidance Resources Program for Postdocs offers 24/7 support, information, and resources for all of life’s challenges. Contact at 855.666.0519 or guidanceresources.com. CR